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Friday, 06 April 2007

Curiosity

By Norm Jenson of Mostly Anecdotal

Curiosity didn’t kill our cat, but it came within a foot. I was cooking eggs for breakfast and throwing the shells into the sink, and mostly hitting the target. My target was the disposal. The cat, thinking it was a game, jumped on the counter and started swatting the shells as they traced an arc between the stove and the sink.

I’ve been training the cat to stay off the counter. I use a bottle of water with its spray nozzle set on stream, but the bottle was across the room and so I made do with the tools at hand.

I only meant to scare him. I never imagined that he would put his foot in the disposal. I never imagined when I flipped the switch that he would swat the last remaining shell from the counter to the sink and through the black rubber fingers that guard the entrance to the whirling blades below. I never imagined that the cat would reach for the shell and try to prevent its descent.

I tried to turn off the disposal, but I’m not as quick as a cat. His paw disappeared into hole, he shrieked, and jumped from the sink onto the floor and disappeared. The cat’s hiding, and I can’t find him. I don’t see a trail of blood, and I checked the disposal, no paw there. But then there wouldn’t be, would there. I hope he’s okay. It’s a few days later now, and I still haven’t seen the cat. My wife says he’s just fine no thanks to me.

“I wrote about it,” I said. “Have you read it?”

“Yes, I read your story,” she said. “You’re writing more now,” she said, “and you’re lying more too.”

“Lying,” I said. “I’m not lying; they’re embellishments.”

“Lies,” she said.

“Simple exaggeration,” I said.

“Lies,” she replied.

“Poetic license,” I retorted.

“Lies,” she insisted.

“The stories are mostly anecdotal, mostly,” I said.

“The stories are mostly lies,” she said.

“They are the way I remember them,” I said.

“Right,” she said, “you and Scooter.”

Posted by Ronni Bennett at 01:36 AM | Permalink | Email this post

Comments

This is laugh out loud, drop dead funnyyyyyyy! Thank you for brightening my day & my cats day, (aka, "they who love the sink") George& Gracie thank you! Dee

As a cat lover, you made me cringe! Luckily, my cats finally learned NOT to get on the counters. I kept the mist bottle with me at all times until they did...LOL

My cat knows not to stand on counters, when I am around, that is... ;)
I occasionally find traces of his passage in forbidden places!
I enjoyed the story and its punchline.

Funny story, but you had me worried for a few lines. Your wife certainly knows how to make a good analogy.

Our cats are always the center of attention in our house. I think of them as street performers. If I want distraction from my day all I have to do is get down on the floor and wait, and pretty soon, the show begins.

I was pretty sure a cat could not get hurt just by putting his paw in the disposal but you still had me going. You mean, mean, man. ;)

(I wonder how Scooter would tell this story.)

I love your story and your wife's drop dead line:

"Right. You and Scooter"

Thank you all for your kind comments about the story. You'll be happy to know that Harry, yep that's his name, is almost perfect now in staying off the counter.

Scooter would undoubtedly tell the story over lunch, to a professional storyteller, along with the information that a close relative of Harry's spends a lot of time in the sand, and that unnamed sources believe it to be Arabian sand.

Wonderful story! This is a wonderful idea!

Very funny story. Being the granny of two hooligan cats of my own, I wish I could teach mine to stay off the counter.

Is that what your wife really said, or is it mostly anecdotal?

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