Tuesday, 05 June 2007
Free to Be Me
[EDITORIAL NOTE: As of Sunday, 3 June, there are just two new stories in the queue for the coming weeks. This blog depends on reader-contributed stories to stay alive and without you, there is no Elder Storytelling Place. So whether you have published stories here before and particularly if you have not, it's your move. Here are some guidelines to get you started.]
By TravelinOma of TravelinOma's Library
I've been thinking how nice it is to just let it all hang out. An advantage to getting older is that I've accepted myself. I'm not embarrassed to be me.
When I was a little girl, I was little. My friends wore sizes 8 or 10 and I was still in a 6X. The 6X dresses had puffy sleeves and sashes that tied in the back, and I remember my friends Karen and Jill making fun of my baby dress. I wore red and white checked reading glasses in second grade. I stood out. It was humiliating, and already I felt the sting of self-consciousness.
When we were 11 my two friends got training bras. I still looked like a five-year-old boy, but my mom realized how miserable I was and got me one, too. I stuffed it with Kleenex and looked lumpy and lopsided and knew I was doomed to geekdom.
Junior high was miserable. I was too shy to tell my teachers my nickname and so I was called by my very old-fashioned real name. There wasn't anything cool about me. In 9th grade I took up swearing, hoping it would earn me some respect among the popular crowd. I don't think it improved my image at all.
It took me decades to get beyond the junior high mentality. I thought I had to be accepted by everybody else to be acceptable. The huge secret I discovered is that once I had accepted myself, I became acceptable.
Whether I'm called Ma'am, or Miss, Mom or Oma I know who I am. My age and rank don't matter. I can develop at my own pace. I don't need Kleenex or fame or fortune to pad the reality. I can decide what image represents the real me and I don't need to parrot the words of others to be "in". It is very freeing to let myself go, and find out where I'm going.
I wish I could find some red-and-white checked reading glasses. I wouldn't mind standing out now. I still envy girls who wear a size 8 or 10. I'm not a 6X anymore, but you can see that for yourself. I'm letting it all hang out!
Posted by Ronni Bennett at 02:15 AM | Permalink | Email this post
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AMEN, OMA!!! I agree wholeheartedly, and there is something so freeing about not having to worry about what people think of you anymore. Having confidence in who you are is the best stage of life - and it is a darn shame that most of us don't get to that point until we are over 60!
Posted by: kenju | Tuesday, 05 June 2007 at 06:34 AM
what a way to live life!! to the fullest.. way to be a great example of owning up (and figuring out) who the true you is. now, i wanna go out and be the best me.
Posted by: marta | Tuesday, 05 June 2007 at 06:24 PM
There was a time when looking just so was very important to me. I'm not sure when that changed, but I like not having to worry about it. Though there are things I think I can work on to make MYSELF feel better, I'm happy to have arrived at this time. There is such great beauty in every face...young or old. Nice post Marty....
Posted by: Joy | Tuesday, 05 June 2007 at 08:39 PM
I love this story!! I was always a tall skinny dorky kid. Didn't have my first bra until I was 13 or 14! Even as an adult in my 20s and 30s, I was not comfortable with myself, but by then, soooooo not a skinny person anymore. Once I hit 40, some things began to fall into place a bit better (some of it due to gravity, but I digress). I know I am still working out who the real me is. It is a tremendously liberating process in many ways. Wonderful to know it keeps getting better....
Posted by: Rebecca | Wednesday, 06 June 2007 at 07:11 AM