Friday, 04 April 2008
The Beast Within
By Nikki Stern of 1 Woman’s Vu
Lewis Black is one ticked-off dude. I recently watched his HBO special. His style is all about rant; he twitches on stage. He sets up brilliantly, he begins calmly enough with remarks about a news item or issue but then as his frustration grows over some idiocy or other, he begins to tremble, as if he’s got stage one Tourette’s syndrome.
By the time he’s built up a righteous head of steam, he’s practically choking on his words. His face turns red, his eyes cross, his gestures grow stiff and choppy, he erupts right before us. He’s not for everyone. I happen to love his persona - he’s kind of dangerous.
Now I’m not considered dangerous by anyone. I am, by nature, a facilitator, a communicator. I want people to get along, find points of agreement and stay calm. I hate it when people raise their voices. My father had temper tantrums – real doozies. Wonderful man, smart man, great dad, lousy temper.
And yet — I too feel like exploding at times. I do. There are so many things that make me crazy: ignorance, hypocrisy, cruelty to women, children and animals, over-paid know-nothings, off-key singing - aargh.
I’ve actually considered punching someone’s lights out, tearing his head off, throwing him (or her) through a plate-glass window - that sort of thing. When I was a kid, I’d hang out the passenger side of the car and pretend I had a huge chainsaw and was hacking down the elms we passed. Oops, did someone suddenly pop up next to that tree? Too bad – off with their heads. Hee, hee – I mean, yuck!
Really, though, these thoughts are so common among kids and probably some adults it’s a wonder we don’t all go bonkers. I’m not talking about a “kill or be killed” situation in which all animals would pretty much react the same way but rather, an uncontrollable impulse to rage.
There is, presumably, a civilizing section of our brains that prevents us from turning into monsters or murderers – except, of course, when there isn’t. Then you have a situation like Columbine or Virginia Tech.
Me, I try to breathe deeply, go to the gym, lay off the sugar (like THAT’S ever gonna happen), ease up on the wine (ditto there) and generally look on the bright side of things. But I wonder – is heredity destiny?
Do I house an evil twin or an alien waiting to burst forth spewing verbal venom? Not that I’ll commit a terrible crime – not my style. But I could turn into that strange woman who flies off the handle and screams at the store clerk or the guy who decides to chase down the a--hole driver who cuts him off (although that’s just plain stupid, more a testosterone kind of thing – no offense, guys).
As I grew older, I might get more crotchety and ill-tempered. After all, pain makes you cranky and pain increases as we get older, what with bladders and livers and fingers and knees conking out on us. The crankier we feel, the less people are likely to listen to us (unless we’re Lewis Black or Andy Rooney), which is likely to increase our crankiness because, damn it, I’ve been on this planet a long time and I know things and if you’d listen to me, you young whippersnapper, you mewling, sniveling, self-righteous, pampered, smart-ass, egotistical son of a…
Well, I’m getting ahead of myself. I have a whimsical side, which may prevail. Maybe I’ll revel in the accumulated wisdom of my years. Maybe I’ll become a yogi, or a Zen master and move somewhere where there’s less pressure – Costa Rica or Vermont. Maybe I’ll live inside my head.
Or maybe I’ll just keep watching Lewis Black and blow off steam.
[The vault of new stories is running low again. If you are interested in contributing, the guidelines are here.]
Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post
Comments
You are right, Nikki. Lewis Black is my relief valve for quite a few of the idiocies that are taking place in our World today. In particular, the blunders that are being made by our government that are putting all of us in jeopardy.
Lewis says all the things we would love to be able to say..So, keep watching and your chances of getting ill-tempered or crotchety will be slim to none.
Lewis will say it all for you..Just sit back calmly and watch HIM go nuts....
Posted by: Nancy on Apr 4, 2008 10:10:02 AM
I am out of the loop. I have never heard of Lewis Black, much less watched him. But your story is so funny that I need to remedy that situation. Ah, if I only knew where to find him.
Your writing is so clever and entertaining that I think you should consider writing a book.
Posted by: Darlene on Apr 4, 2008 11:54:37 AM
I've never heard of Lewis Black.
Seems I'm missing out on something good. If he's able to act out some of what my “civilizing section" of brain is harboring, that would be a good thing.
Great piece!
Posted by: Claire Jean on Apr 4, 2008 3:17:06 PM
I am an acolyte of the temptuous Mr. Black. He is quoted frequently on my Blog, though I try to keep it to one "F" word per quote.
My recent most favorite LB quote: "The recent proposed tax cut is like your Congressman coming to your door and peeing on your shoes!"
All of us at some time or another need to be listened to and have some say so in how things go on in our lives.
It just naturally makes you cranky when you see others making the same mistakes you did and they won't listen.
Lewis Black is a great outlet for our crankiness.
Rich
Posted by: Rich on Apr 4, 2008 4:20:18 PM
I have never watched the Lewis Black show but I have seen it advertised. You have certainly piqued my interest. Yes, I need all the help I can get as I attempt to subdue my crankiness.
Posted by: Granny Annie on Apr 4, 2008 6:54:02 PM
"....I’ve been on this planet a long time and I know things and if you’d listen to me, you young whippersnapper, you mewling, sniveling, self-righteous, pampered, smart-ass, egotistical son of a…"
MY sentiments exactly!!
Posted by: kenju on Apr 5, 2008 10:09:46 AM
First off, Lewis Black is a wonderful, incredible "stand-up" comedian. He doen'st have a show, per se, but can be found on one of the HBO channels and on the Comedy Channel.
I felt I had come home after reading The Beast Within and all of your comments about that article. At last, others who experience this insane world and respond with similar rage to my
own.
I'm new to TimeGoesBy and have only subscribed today, but I will be adding my own article very soon.
Posted by: Doris Casella on Apr 5, 2008 11:12:28 AM
