Wednesday, 07 May 2008
My Mom
By Darlene Costner of Darlene's Hodgepodge
If I had to choose one word to describe my mother it would be sweet. But that is inadequate because she was so much more. She was, by nature, very giving, compassionate, loving and courageous. She had such an even temper that I think my step-sister and I were the only ones who ever saw her lose it.
Our kitchen was small and storage space was limited to an upright cupboard that took up most of the space. As a result, all of the pots and pans were stacked under the sink. They had to be very carefully stacked because they filled the space and if they were not put in “just so,” they would fall out.
One day I started to enter the kitchen when Mom was putting the pans away. She would put one pan in and the entire stack would fall out. She patiently repeated the process about four times and four times the whole stack fell out. Suddenly, Mom stood up after the latest mishap and started kicking the pans all over the kitchen floor. I was so stunned to find out that my mother had a temper that I nearly fell over.
The second time my mother lost her equilibrium was on one of the many nights that my step-sister and I engaged in our nightly ritual of fighting over whose turn it was to wash the dishes.
Neither one of us wanted to wash because Mom dirtied so many pans when she made a meal that the end result was having to laboriously scour them and change the dishwater because they were so caked with food. It was not a fun thing to do. We shared a common selective memory; we each thought we had done the dirty deed the night before. Ergo - it was the other's turn to wash that night.
On this particular night the argument between Gloria and me became so heated and prolonged that my mother suddenly entered the kitchen completely exasperated with listening to us, doubled up her fists, hit each one of us on the top of the head, and said,” You girls just shut up!”
We were so stunned to see Mom lose her temper that the arguing stopped immediately. I don’t remember who ended up scouring the dirty pans that night, but I do know it was an act of contrition.
Mom loved horses and the outdoors in that order. She was a superb horsewoman and broke her own horse when she was only thirteen years old. Five years later she rode that horse when she became the first Queen in the Colorado Springs “Pikes Peak or Bust” rodeo. The local newspaper gave her a white buckskin outfit that consisted of a split fringed skirt, a vest and gauntlet gloves. It was a major event at that time and Mom was interviewed by a journalist from Denmark. The article was published in their woman’s magazine. She also rode her horse to the Governor’s mansion in Denver. I am very sure that this was the happiest time of my mother’s life.
Mom would have been very ecstatic living on a ranch, but fate decreed otherwise. She spent most of her adult years serving the public in the cottage court and trailer park that my grandmother started. Being shy by nature, this must have been difficult for her at first. She eventually became outgoing and was well loved by all who knew her.
Mom never complained even though she had a hard life. I admire and love my Mom and will always miss her.
Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post
Comments
It must have been difficult for her to have yearned one existence, and to have lived another. Yet, you portray her as someone well contented with their lot. This was a lovely story and the photo does speak a thousand words.
Posted by: lilalia on May 7, 2008 7:37:43 AM
Do you think she was kicking her lost cowgirl dream when she was kicking those pans? My mother was equally devoted to family but I always wondered what she gave up to raise a family. Thank you for this story.
Posted by: Granny Annie on May 7, 2008 7:59:28 AM
A nice remembrance, and a good photo to go with it.
Posted by: kenju on May 7, 2008 9:38:40 AM
Darlene,
What a wonderful Mom you had. I love the picture of her in the buckskin outfit.
She must have wished for a different lifestyle but wasn't it great that she was so content to help both her mother and her children have a happy life?
I loved that she kicked the pans around the kitchen. That was a sure sign that she kept all of her "Spunk" under control most of the time.
I'll bet you are just like that yourself, Darlene....
Posted by: Nancy on May 7, 2008 10:51:56 AM
Thank you, one and all, for your kind comments.
Thank you so much for assuming I was like her, Nancy, but I have to confess that I am not at all like my mother. I lost my temper at the drop of a hat. I had a lot of red in my hair when I was young and blamed it on that. I finally learned to control my temper after my husband was critically injured in an accident. He lost patience with my tantrums when he was ill and I finally grew up and learned some self control. In addition, I would have hated ranch life.
Posted by: Darlene on May 7, 2008 12:58:47 PM
I am Darlene's step daughter and always enjoy her stories. I remember Grandma, and she was the sweet, patience person mom talks about and I cannot imagine her losing her temper. Mom on the other hand did have a temper, but it was always over as quick as it came.
Posted by: Lynne Young on May 7, 2008 6:08:39 PM
This is a beautiful tribute to your mother Darlene.
Posted by: Joy on May 9, 2008 10:06:46 AM
