Thursday, 02 October 2008
My New Nephew
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By Lois Cochran of Guitar Grandma
I have a new nephew. A new 43-year-old nephew. A surprise nephew.
I met Steve a few days before Thanksgiving last year. He called me and introduced himself, saying that while going through his mother’s papers after her recent death, he found documents indicating that his grandmother had been married to my father and that his mother was a product of that marriage. I had a sister whom I would never know, except through my new nephew.
My first response to Steve’s revelation, was disbelief. It was not possible that my father had a child that he never told us about; I knew his history.
My father was married four times. First at age 16 and quickly divorced. Several years later, he married my birth mother, a relationship that didn’t last long and when I was eight months old, he took me and divorced my mother. The third marriage to my stepmother was the "charm," giving me three sisters and two brothers and lasting until she died at age 58. The fourth wife was someone with whom to share those final years.
I knew his history Dad had never tried to hide the fact that he lived a bit on the "wild" side as a young lad, very much the lady’s man. He had fascinating and funny stories to tell and we loved to hear them. But we never heard a story about a child from that first marriage between two young kids - a child who grew up never knowing her real father.
Steve also wonders why his mother never told him that the grandfather he knew was not his maternal grandfather; that there was another grandfather; that his grandmother had been married before; that he had family he had never met.
Steve is a very pleasant young man who is into genealogy in a big way. As I have discovered, no one gets into genealogy in a small way. It seems that once in, you’re hooked and there’s no such thing as moderation. Steve loves family and family history. What a shame he never met my father, his grandfather. They would have taken such delight in one another.
So, while we mourn the loss of a sister we could have known and loved, we celebrate the addition to our family of Steve, our new nephew, and his wife and family. Life is full of wonderful surprises and some of them are mixed blessings - a little pain, a lot of joy!
[EDITORIAL NOTE: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. Instructions are here.]
Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post
Comments
I can imagine how you are feeling to find out those revelations at this stage of your life. I met my birth mom when I was 55, and just this past summer, I met 5 cousins and an uncle on my birth father's side. It's really odd to have instant family at this age!! I hope that you and your new-found nephew will have many nice, long talks together!
Posted by: kenju on Oct 2, 2008 10:03:40 AM
Is it possible that your father never knew of his firstborn child? If the mother was bitter, she may never have told him she was pregnant when he left her.
In this age of so many divorces and re-marriages families do lose a connection to their relatives.
I have a sister who is into genealogy and I appreciate what you said. It becomes an obsession.
Posted by: Darlene on Oct 2, 2008 12:50:27 PM
So isn't Steve's mother your half sister which makes Steve your quarter nephew? :-) Okay, so you do share DNA. I get that part. I'd hate to be a future genealogist.
Posted by: James J Henry Jr on Oct 2, 2008 6:48:34 PM
