Tuesday, 30 December 2008
The DIY TV Painting Miracle
By Susan Gulliford of Hillsborough NJ Journal
Although I find shows such as Mission Organization, Clean Sweep, Flip This House and Designed to Sell fascinating, I am confused by the amount of work they manage to do in (usually) two days.
Let’s take something simple: painting interior walls. The perpetrators of these shows pick out paint, do minimal preparation, apply the paint under less than desirable conditions, and all seem to be working with homeowners who have never touched a paintbrush. In one or two days they finish a perfect job.
At our homestead, picking out the color can take a few weeks.
First there are the trips to all the major paint dealers in the Hillsborough area, comparing such items as price, coupons, coverage and warranties, and possibly narrowing it to at least one manufacturer and/or store.
Then we each pick out a color, but it’s never the same one. We finally settle on the color and start the struggle over the exact hue and, then, how many gallons we need to buy.
The paint cans and the home maintenance books always warn us about the thorough preparation that must be done before the first brush touches the wall: taking off all the switch plates, taking down the pictures and anything else hanging on the walls and filling the nail holes, and patching any damage or nail pops. On television, they seem to just blithely paint over everything on the walls including the old wallpaper.
We carefully read the instructions on the cans regarding temperature and humidity. On TV they paint in all conditions and as for waiting for any amount of time between coats (if they even put on a second coat) – hah!
And what is with them painting in one room while the floor guys are sanding in the next room? And who the heck are all these people who have never painted a wall?
And yet, inexplicably, when they complete the job, it’s perfect. At our house that’s the time when we discover that the finished color isn’t exactly what we wanted after all and have to decide how long we can live with it.
Some real-life painting hints:
- Read the instructions on the can before you drip paint all over them. The older you get the smaller they print the instructions on the can.
- Vacuum the cobwebs off the walls before you start [Not that we have any cobwebs at our house, someone else told me that hint. Honest].
- No matter how thoroughly you clean the brushes they will never bethe same next time you paint (which will be several years down the road), so don’t buy really expensive ones, just throw them out when you are done.
[EDITORIAL NOTE: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. Instructions are here.]
Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post
Comments
You know, Susan, I have often wondered the very same thing about those shows.
It takes us weeks to do what they do in two days.Seriously, my husband's brother passed away recently and left us a two story house that he had moved into 56 years ago and had not redecorated since.
We have had a crew of 3 men in that house for 5 weeks now working as hard as they can to remove old wallpaper,sand and refinish hardwood floors and generally, get the place ready to sell. And,it is costing us a fortune. On the housing shows they only spend $2,000 and it looks beautiful,as you said.. I would like to live in the house they have fixed up in less than a week and see how it really turned out.
It might be something like when you rent a place at the shore (Ocean City,NJ or Wildwood,NJ. The day you move in the place looks great. The next day you hear a pop and the drapes fall to the floor. You investigate and find the drapes are being held up with bobby pins. The next day the shower curtain plummets to the bottom of the tub because the metal thing that holds them up is broken and they have put chewing gum on it to secure it. Then,after a few more days, the brighteners in the carpet cleaner they have used begin to fade and all the terrible grape juice spots the many tenants over the years have spilled spring to the top of the carpet.
Then, the final touch. The garbage disposal regurgitates everything you have put in there for the past few days and the sink is completely clogged.
Of course, all of this is your fault and the money to repair it will be deducted from your security deposit.
Where are Candace Olsen or Lisa LaPorta when you need them?????
Posted by: Nancy on Dec 30, 2008 9:11:59 AM
Susan - This was great! You have exposed the truth about TV fix-it-up reality shows!
Your fix-it-up experiences are much more realistic - But unfortunately they would create a soap opera, not the 'fast food' half hour quickie that we all demand! - Sandy
Posted by: Sandy on Dec 30, 2008 11:32:24 AM
