Monday, 22 June 2009
You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Dress - and the Right Shoes
By Joan Barber, co-star of the web show, 50 to DeathHere's the problem: my step-daughter (my only child) is getting married and NO ONE makes affordable clothes that I can wear. Am I being petty? I think not. It's important to me as a twenty-first century woman to be perceived NOT as an "aging hipster" or a "Betty White" type or a frump, but as the vital, healthy, attractive person I think I still am.
Or, am I kidding myself? Okay. The K-Mart arms are creeping up on me, despite the fact that I wear a size 2. So that means no sleeveless. The cleavage that I used to display with such elan (and that got me many roles as an actress) is maybe not as firm as it once was. So, that means no low cut gowns.
The legs are definitely still good, thanks to walking on a regular basis in New York City and schlepping up and down subway stairs. But my bunions (from years of dancing) kill me when I wear high heels, and no one makes shoes that work for my high instep without cutting into my hammer toes. In ballet flats I stand a statuesque 5'1". And as for my cute little pancake butt - let's not go there.
The event is approaching and I am slowly freaking out as I trek from high-end department store to boutique to discount paradise. I give myself what I assume to be a reasonable budget (buying the bride's wedding dress kind of emptied my piggy bank) and plenty of time to shop, but all I see are teeny tiny prom dresses (where were those hot little strapless numbers when I was in high school?) and mother-of-the-bride frocks in which I look like a cute little dumpling wrapped in a doily.
Oh, for a stylist like the stars have! I'll never forget the episode of Project Runway where the designers cringed at the prospect that they were going to have to design for ("ugh, gross") MOTHERS of hot young babes. The blue business suit in my closet starts to look better and better. Hopefully I'll just fade into the hydrangeas.
BUT NO. I may be over 50 (well, pushing 60) and I may not be an heiress, or tall and elegant, but one thing I am is a proud and strong child of Sixties, an actress and a rebel. I will be seen. I've never faded from a challenge in my life!
This wedding is just like any show I've done in my over thirty years of performing. I can play the role of step-mother-of-the-bride. I may not have a Tony Award-winning costume designer sketching and a wardrobe department building my dress, but I can use my vision and experience, my wisdom and sense of perspective to zero in on THE DRESS. I just have to become the character and "she" (THE DRESS) will find me.
And like the blue Grecian goddess that she is, she does - as do the comfortable, multi-colored sandals (found online). I'll get to show off my cleavage and legs at the same time (without being too outrageous). After all, the bride is supposed to be the star of the show and believe me, she will be.
[EDITORIAL NOTE: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. They can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir, etc. Instructions for submitting are here.]
Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post
Comments
I was hoping for the photo! Thanks! The words conveyed the angst, but . . . "a picture is worth . . ."
I'm wondering if I can still squeeze into my Mother of the Bride dress. Maybe find a jacket so I can zip it. Are you ready for chapter two? Flo
Posted by: Flo Anrud on Jun 22, 2009 8:33:10 AM
I can relate big time. In my quest for an appropriate yet pretty outfit as a recent bride of 70 (which requires to my mind something comparable to mother of the bride), and also with a decent budget, I hit almost every store from Albany to New Jersey until I found something that didn't make me look like either an aging hooker or an absolute frump.
Posted by: Brenda Verbeck on Jun 22, 2009 9:15:11 AM
I couldn't afford the dresses that the boutiques were flaunting at the time my daughter got married. I made my own by combing two patterns.
I was quite proud of my efforts until I saw the wedding video. I looked like a pin cushion as I walked down the aisle.
You, on the other hand, will be beautiful.
Posted by: Darlene on Jun 22, 2009 11:38:29 AM
Wow, you look great! Nice job.
Posted by: Celia on Jun 22, 2009 6:18:04 PM
Beautiful! So true and also so funny. And thank you so much for your show, 50 to Death. Brava!!
Posted by: Emilie on Jun 22, 2009 6:57:01 PM
Lovely, delightful, and beats the heck out of the closeted blue suit. Add a shawl or scarf, and you will be Mother of the Bride with class.
Posted by: Mage Bailey on Jun 22, 2009 9:50:14 PM
For 4 out of the 5 weddings of my 3 children & grandson, I found gorgeous dresses at thrift shops (I even have a spare if the next one is a summer wedding and I don't get any skinnier), and I must say, I looked better than the other mothers
who had spent a fortune on their dresses!
Posted by: Lyn Burnstine on Jun 23, 2009 12:39:42 PM
