Thursday, 23 July 2009
Fun at the Carrie Underwood ShowBy Ronni Prior of Rants By Ronni
For her birthday, my daughter gave me a present - a ticket to accompany her to a Carrie Underwood concert. I love Carrie Underwood. From the first time I heard the chorus to Before He Cheats, she had me.
I dug my keys into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive;
Carved my name into his leather seats...
[NOT YOUR NAME, CARRIE! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T CARVE YOUR NAME!]
...Took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all four tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats!
...Gonna save a little trouble for the next girl,
For the next time that he cheats
You know it won't be on me...
[BECAUSE HE'LL HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER OUT ON YOUR BUTT!]
Anyway - I love this song and almost everything else the girl sings.
So, we're sitting there and there's a group behind us that includes a very loud and obnoxious woman who is complaining about the seats, the crowd, the lights and everything else. She had (she said) just got back from vacation in Europe (dahling) and Texas was just so – so - rural, provincial and generally unsophisticated. She leaned over to her companions and said, "How do you like my earrings? I got them in Switzerland!"
Dearly Beloved, I had had enough.
I leaned into my daughter's ear and said (loudly), "How do you like my earrings? I got them at Walmart!"
In between chuckles, she answered, "You're gonna burn in hell!"
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