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Friday, 27 November 2009

The Honeymooners

By Dani Ferguson of The Musings of a Middle Aged Woman

I know the world has changed and that some of the moral lessons of my youth are now antiquated, but I believe that a bit of the mystery and allure was lost with the sexual revolution.

When I was a young girl, we had clearly defined rules. There were “good” girls and there were “not so good” girls. Most girls, myself included, strove to be one of the “good” girls. Abstinence wasn’t taught, it was expected and had it not been for this strict value system passed on to me by my mother, I wouldn’t have this tale to tell now.

In 1969, I married my college sweetheart at the ripe old age of twenty. We had dated for a little over a year when we decided we were ready to walk down the aisle. I realize now that decision was motivated more by hormones than maturity. We didn’t have a nickel to our name but we were young and in love and feeling invincible. So after a small ceremony and a cake and punch reception we were off to explore the bonds of holy matrimony.

Now being one of those so-called “good” girls, I was more than a little nervous about THE wedding night. Since we were only going to Oklahoma City, a brief 22 miles from where our wedding took place, we were at our motel in no time. We settled in and my new husband immediately put the “DO NOT DISTURB” sign on the door.

He decided he would take a shower before retiring and left me sitting on the bed wondering if I should make a run for it or just stay and fulfill my “wifely” duties. After a few minutes, my young husband began calling to me from the shower, “Oh Dani, come take a shower with me,” he called.

All the blood drained from my head. I had no idea what to do next. I had never seen a naked man in my life nor had I ever been seen naked. He continued to call out, “The water is warm, come take a shower with me.”

I sat on the bed for what seemed like an hour trying to figure out what to do. I thought, I’m married now, I have to do it, I promised to Obey!

Suddenly I had an idea! I opened my suitcase and removed my bathing suit. I put on the suit and headed for the shower. Then I remembered the “haven’t seen a naked man” part and decided at the last minute to flip off the light in the bathroom. The bathroom was pitch black.

I took about two steps, tripped over the toilet, grabbed for the shower curtain pulling it down with me as my chin struck the tub. Not knowing what the heck was going on, my husband reached for me and in the process felt my bathing attire. He burst into laughter while the shower continued to spray water all over the bathroom.

He laughed so hard he couldn’t keep his own balance as he sloshed through the water to flip on the light. There I was, the new bride, sitting on the bathroom floor, in my bathing suit, with a two-inch gash in my chin.

We spent the remainder of our first night as a married couple in the emergency room getting ten stitches in my chin. I begged my husband not to tell the doctor the circumstances surrounding my need for medical attention, but he couldn’t resist. The doctor gave me a Valium, my new husband the bill and wished him the best of luck!

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[INVITATION: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. They can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir, etc. Instructions for submitting are here.]

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