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Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Where's Harry?

By Nancy Leitz

I already had my real estate license in 1979, but thought that I really could use a few more courses in finance. It was complicated financing a home (as witness the problems we are having now in 2011), so another course was in order for me to further my career.

I enrolled in Montgomery County Community College for a course in real estate finance. The instructor was Michael Park who was vice president of Commonwealth Savings Bank at the time.

The first night of the course, Mr. Park called the roll and one of the students he called was Harry Ritz. “Present,” shouted a voice from the back of the room. Mr. Park then proceeded with the rest of the names on his list and all were present.

The next evening the class met, Mr. Park again called the roll and everyone was present EXCEPT Harry Ritz. The class proceeded.

I think this was the night Mr. Park explained to us that if we were ever passing a bank on a Friday evening at 5PM in July and it was 98 degrees and we noticed a man trimming the bushes in front of the bank, he was probably a vice president.

The next Tuesday evening as we all gathered for more gems of financial wisdom, we were stunned when the door of the classroom suddenly opened and a little timid voice asked, “Is this where the Assertive Training Class is?”

“NO”, someone shouted. “We had that last week, Now get out of here!”

Again the roll was called and again, NO Harry Ritz. The class proceeded with a lesson on disintermediation. Yawn! But finally the class ended and thank God, we could go home.

This went on for the entire spring semester. Harry Ritz was never seen again after the opening night.

On the last night of the class in May, Mr. Park made one last valiant effort to find Harry Ritz but to no avail. In desperation he asked our class, “Does anyone know the whereabouts of Harry Ritz?”

I raised my hand. “Yes, Nancy, do you know where Harry Ritz is?” asked Mr. Park.

I suppose, as Flip Wilson used to say, “The devil made me do it.” so with that encouragement I shouted:

“No, not really, I don’t know where he is but if I had to guess, I would say he is probably either at his hotel or his cracker factory.”


[INVITATION: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. They can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir, etc. Instructions for submitting are here.]

Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post

Comments

Nancy, You are a cracker! Maybe Harry Ritz was really looking for the Assertive Training Class! It certainly was not a good attendance medal he was after.

You are so funny Nancy. I was thinking of Ritz crackers every time you mentioned his name. I wonder what the heck happened to Harry.

Nancy - Nice story! Quick wit! - Sandy

Socko, it is so great to have a little laugh out loud all by yourself in the morning...great writing...

Oh Nancy, you are wicked!!!

Leave it to the class wit to come up with that. ;-)

Nancy, I think you had already had the assertiveness training class! So funny. I wouldn't have had the nerve!

Grannymar:
No, Harry was not in line for the perfect attendance medal. He was more like my son, Steve who, when he came home from his very first day of school, was told to hang up his good clothes for tomorrow,went into fits of crying and shouted,"You mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

I imagine Harry was something like that.

Joy: I have no idea what
happened to Harry,but,after missing all those classes in Real Estate finance,do you think HE might have been the one who got us into all this financial trouble we are in today?"

Sandy: Thanks for your nice remarks. You always have an encouraging word to say to us storytellers.

Mary: You are absolutely correct,it IS socko to have a good "Fall off your chair" laugh first thing in the morning.

Darlene: It was always my favorite thing to have a good quip in response to a serious question. Most of the time you don't think of the great thing to say until hours later,when it's too late.

Judy: You wouldn't have the nerve? You,who had the courage to ride in a cherry picker to put the trimmings on the Christmas tree?

Oh, yes, with your talent you could TEACH the Assertive Training Class.

Good one Nancy. You got me with this one. Did your comment affect your final grade in the class?

No, Annie,I don't remember what my grade was but I doubt old Harry affected my career much.

How could he, I only saw him once!

Thanks for reading my story....

How do you know it wasn't spelled Rits? Maybe he went back to his "dye job"...!

(Sorry, just could not let that one go.)

OMG, Nance, you have been hanging around the old age punster too long.

Never thought it might be spelled Rits..

So, it makes me blue and red in the face to realize that I was too green to know that Harry was so yellow he was afraid to appear in class after getting a pink slip from his dye job, and couldn't pay his tuition because it would be a long time before he would be in the black again.

Orange you glad you started this? In the fushia, write again. Always a pleasure to hear from you...

I would have at least tried tolook him up in the phone book.

That is very funny. When I first read the name, I read it as "Harry Ritz." I had a whole different visual for that one! LOL


Hi Elaine:

Thanks for your comment. I suppose we didn't look Harry up in the phone book because none of us really knew him and he was probably happier at the Ritz than we were at school.

Karen: Yes, you are correct. His name WAS Harry Ritz. Nance is the one who changed it and made him the Rits Dye heir.... Happy you enjoyed the story..Thanks!

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