Tuesday, 17 December 2013
Adventures of “C.L. Phone”
By Joanne Zimmermann
I belong to Ralph, a nice man but somewhat prone to losing things. And as he grew older, the problem got worse.
So on that fateful afternoon, as we returned from a bus trip, Ralph left me lying on the seat in the dark bus.
The driver, cleaning up as usual, found me and saw Ralph’s name inside. He called the lady who organized the trip and she gave him the address where Ralph lived.
So by the time Ralph got ahold of the driver after a three-day trip during which I was locked in a hot bus locker, driver Brian told him he had mailed me to him. Wasn’t that nice of him!
Great, but wait. A week went by and I did not arrive. Ralph’s honey suggested perhaps I went to Ralph’s old address, before he cozily moved in with her.
Through a few more maneuvers, Ralph got the number of the lady who bought his home and left messages. There was no reply so he went to the gatehouse of the park where she lived. The gatekeeper remembered Ralph and phoned the lady.
“Oh,” she said, “I gave it right back to the postman since he moved.”
So of course the post office was contacted but they said they always returned things to where they came from. So guess what? Back to Brian and the bus company I went.
Meanwhile, Ralph’s honey had a stepson in the same area as the bus company and so Brian said he would drop it off there. Ralph gave him the address unfortunately omitting one of the three two’s, so he tried to find 225 instead of 2225.
After re-instructing Brian, I got placed with Mark and his family awaiting delivery to Ralph but it is 35 miles away with two dogs who gave me a good workout.
Truth be told, Ralph does not use me all that much, just for emergencies - if he has remembered to bring me along and has me turned on. That is not allowed at his bridge club, so mostly I languish just getting charged up over nothing.
However, upon arrival, I no longer could get charged up, over anything. At least now, we three kind of match.
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