Guest ElderBlogger: Joy Des Jardins

[EDITOR'S NOTE: While I am away for a few days, five fantastic elders agreed to guest blog. Today, Joy Des Jardins of The Joy of Six has a good time thinking about Trying To Get Into Heaven and I’m so glad she includes one of her trademark poems at the end. Please welcome her with plenty of kudos and comments.]

Does anyone officially know the criteria one must meet to get into heaven? I’ve just had my 60th birthday, and I don’t think I can afford to joke around about this any longer. Just how forgiving is The Man upstairs?

We have all known people in our lives - loved ones included - who were terrors in their younger days, maybe worse, and as they got older seemed to mellow out to a mere irksome and much more manageable pain in the butt.

How heavy do their past discretions weigh against them when they’re actually standing there at the Pearly Gates? Apart from the obvious despicable acts that would automatically disqualify someone, what are the acceptable guidelines for entry? Could one teeter on the edge over a nasty squabble or two from their past?

My mother was a feisty lady most of her life. A hot-blooded Italian woman who became emotional in the blink of an eye…and not always with a sense of reason behind it. I often wondered why she never looked at the BIG PICTURE. Was it possible that the fun and loving side of my mother might not be enough to get her through to the other side.

I worried for her. I don’t think she really ever thought about how her life might be evaluated, when it counted, until she got much older.

In her elder years her faith, which had been put on the back burner in her earlier days, reappeared - along with her prayers and rosary beads. I didn’t even know my mother had rosary beads. Her Catholic upbringing had long ago gone by the wayside for reasons I was never sure of, other than something about marrying out of her faith, and for that reason I never grew up with a formal religion attached to me.

But here she was in her 80s back in the fold. Somehow I got it and I felt relief - for her and for me.

With only small lapses of anger and temper in her very elder years, my mom had begun to mend the fences with “the one that counted.” When she passed away in June of last year I had little doubt of where she was headed and how the sense of belonging again comforted her in her final days.

At least she always knew what religion she was raised in as a kid. I always told everyone I was a Capricorn.

I seemed to have a history of connections with “fallen away” Catholics, my husband being another one. Reared in a very close Catholic family, he was the only rebel in the bunch. And thus, my children all grew up in my religion - Astrologism.

Then there was my dad - the most loving, giving and compassionate man I’ve ever known. If ever those Pearly Gates would be open wide for anyone, it would be him; yet he was never attached to any religion either. He just lived his life the way I imagine “the man upstairs” hoped everyone would. Though my dad left this earth far too soon for me to ever worry about it, I know he walks among the clouds.

With age comes discovery. What is my life about? What makes me happy? Who makes me happy? How do I find peace and contentment? How do I survive figuring this all out? We re-evaluate - a lot.

We go back through the years. Sometimes it’s not such a great journey. Sometimes the memories are so beautiful that they fuel us to continue on in hopes of collecting more of the same kind of memories. Sometimes we’re ashamed - secretly or otherwise - of how we conducted ourselves during certain periods in our lives. Is there time to atone? Does it matter? Who’s going to know?

WHO’S GOING TO KNOW?? Well, WE are for one thing….and that should be enough. Thus, here is where we eventually wind up, every one of us: Trying to get into heaven. Hoping to have led a good enough life to get our ticket punched at The Gates and spend an ethereal existence amid wings and halos. It sure beats the HELL out of the alternative.

So what’s the lesson to be learned here? That as soon as each one of us is old enough to realize the gift that we have been given, we should give back and treat others the way they were meant to be treated - with respect and understanding, love and compassion. Not in bits and pieces, but every day. This is so good in theory, but not always easy in practice.

Or, do we go through life helter-skelter letting things - and people - fall where they may, hoping for a little forgiveness as we inch closer to our end. HE’s a very benevolent and forgiving guy, and I’m told he’s got a very high threshold of tolerance. But, I’m not so sure I’m willing to risk it. After all, it is OUR “eternal ending” we’re talking about - or at least until our souls are born anew. I wonder if I’ll be a Capricorn.

What do you think? Do you suppose this is all because I just turned 60?

Judgment Day

When your time on earth is over
and you’re due to make your call
upon the Maker’s mansion;
you can stand there straight and tall.

As he wraps his arms around you
in his Fatherly embrace;
and he blesses you for living
with sweet elegance and grace.

It’s He who knows the measure
of true beauty from within;
and he alone rewards your soul
to bring it life again.

He’ll look upon your loving face
and know you’ve stood the test;
to right the wrongs and do the good
that separate the best.

He knows what hearts are heavy
from the weight of life’s deceits;
and ones so “pure of purpose”
with the silence of their deeds.

He’ll lay his hand upon your cheek
and guide you through the door.
Sweet angels at your side
as you walk on heaven’s floor.

“You my darling child
have given life your best.
Compassion, love and honesty;
you’ve mastered every test.”

“You’ve walked down every road
and sipped life as you should.
You’ve touched and nurtured friendships,
And made them strong and good.”

“Your loyalty to friend and cause
is held in high regard;
and true your strength of character
has brought you great reward.”

“But clearest of all reason
why I’ve called you to my side;
you’ve loved to live, and lived to love.
You’re welcomed here with pride.”