Monday, 03 December 2007
Time Goes By Shuts Down
As of this post, Time Goes By is over.
The decision to do so has been building for the reasons below and other related ones, but response to today’s post – and it’s only 11AM here - tipped me over the edge. Isn’t it odd how often decisions are made on small events.
I can’t tell you which of half a dozen emails telling me that 60 isn’t old or you’re only as old as you feel or age is relative or whatever other excuse did it. It’s all bullshit. Old is old. The Crabby Old Lady in me is finished arguing that, along with all her versions of old-is-as-worthy-as-every-other-age.
Too many people want to slice and dice the language and proclaim their youthfulness in other ways unto the grave and if that is your position, this or any blog is unlikely to change your mind.
But all this age denial (the negative ones never publish publicly; they just rant in emails to me) before noon has made the decision for me. I’m out of energy to move forward with this.
In addition, I’m tired of asking for story submissions for The Elder Storytelling Place. In the past when the backlog ran short, I posted an editorial comment begging for stories. I don’t want to do that anymore either. The stories that come in as a result of today’s post at that blog will be set up to post automatically over the next few days and then that blog will drift away too.
It doesn’t make much sense to me, but it is so nevertheless - another one of those small incidents that pushed me over the edge is that as of a couple of days ago, Blogger blogs (owned by Google) no longer allow people without Blogger or Google accounts to leave their blog address on comments, instead supplying a link to sign up.
I’ve lost the heart to argue against that too, but I will not allow myself to be forced to join the Google Army bludgeoning its way toward world domination.
Please keep up your work on S.1959. I will continue also, privately now. It may become the most important thing we will ever have done.
Over four-plus years of this blog, I’ve made many good friends and I love knowing each and every one of you. I’ll be in touch. Now, however, I’m shutting down and intend to find other ways to explore and proudly live out my OLD AGE.
Posted by Ronni Bennett at 11:37 AM | Permalink | Email this post
Comments
Oh, I'm very sad to hear that!! When the annoying, irritating things outweigh the pleasures... Thank you for the many years of Time Goes By, Ronnie, and wishing you all the best in every way, including the next project (I'm sure there will be one.) As for Blogger, I noticed the same disturbing thing.
Posted by: marja-leena on Dec 3, 2007 11:48:37 AM
Shit - I'm sorry you're not going to blog anymore. I see your blog as a valuable resource. I would have never found out about the Thought Police legislation otherwise. You've brought my thinking up to date with respect to aging and ageism. I've also found some other wonderful blogs while trawling through your list of other bloggers.
Thanks for all the blog entries. I'll miss this blog. I'll miss Ollie and I'll miss Crabby too.
Posted by: Peggy on Dec 3, 2007 11:50:57 AM
Of course you are right: young is just young and not immature, and old is just old and not decrepit. Old is a neutral term.
I truly wish you would rethink your current decision.
Still, if final, I do want to say your blog has been a wonderful lively source of information, communication, and provocation. You have instilled in me new ideas about how to grow and be old.
Posted by: lilalia on Dec 3, 2007 11:55:48 AM
I am sooo sorry to hear this. Please let us faithfull readers know if you will be expressing yourself and sharing yourself somewhere else. We want to come along.
Posted by: Annie Hall on Dec 3, 2007 12:24:41 PM
So sorry to hear of your decision, Ronni. As a long-time blogger myself, I know how frustrating it can be. Perhaps a hiatus and a new venue in the coming year? If so, let those of us who have thoroughly enjoyed your writing and viewpoint know where we can find you. All the best and much holiday happiness to you and Ollie.
Posted by: Rana on Dec 3, 2007 12:28:27 PM
Uff Da!!!!
There are no words to tell you what your extraordinary attention to the things that means so much to us all have meant to me.
You have a die-hard fan in Minnesota who will miss TGB in a huge way.
Posted by: Susan on Dec 3, 2007 12:41:25 PM
Very sorry to see you go, Ronni, although I understand such decisions do not come lightly. I'm 34 and read your blog every day even though I'm not an elder. :-) Your thoughts and convictions were a help to me--my company specializes in Internet marketing to 50-plus audiences, and many times we feel like we are having to make a case for what we do and why it's important. So I can relate to the frustration. Luckily, there are those who get it (and those who never will).
You will be missed, and know that the blog world is worse off without you.
Posted by: Jonathan Boehman on Dec 3, 2007 12:43:12 PM
Oh.No! You are irreplaceable. Please rethink and reconsider your decision to stop writing your blog. Your absence will diminish the Internet severely.
Posted by: Ramona Moormann on Dec 3, 2007 12:50:31 PM
Ronni, My first and last reactions (the latter due to denial) are that this is a December Fool's Day joke. I am heartbroken to hear that our fearless leader and champion of all that is reasonable, helpful, wise, and insightful — THE address for "What it's really like to get older" is shutting down. How can we, your community, the one you built, post by post, give back to you the support — the gift you have been giving us for a lifetime? I am so terribly sad to hear how hard your path has been. It is no wonder, and that is no consolation, that a pioneer, a person who takes on the trite, tired, conventional, self-interested parties would suffer their slings and arrows. I wish we could have helped shield you from them or have deflected the shattering hurts and disappointments. Please call on us jointly and severally and let us know how we can support you appropriately today.
Posted by: tamar on Dec 3, 2007 12:55:57 PM
This is a blow, Ronni. Take a walk, take a long bath, pet your cat. Reconsider. You're an important voice. Don't cut yourself off.
Posted by: Virginia on Dec 3, 2007 1:13:59 PM
Ronni, while I'm sad that you've decided to "pull the plug", I'm happy for you if it puts an end to the less pleasant aspects of the process. As someone who pulled the plug on her own blog (almost a year ago to the day, as it happens) I well remember the feelings of sadness *and* relief that I felt on that day.
Enjoy your OLD AGE, Ronni - as a former "Honorary Elderblogger", I can tell you this - when I reach the age at which I drop the Honorary qualifier, I will enjoy my elderhood so much more, because of all that I have learned from you.
Be well, and be happy! Namaste.
Posted by: Koan on Dec 3, 2007 1:32:46 PM
I too am going to miss you and your words, Ronni. Can't this be a short time out instead of the end?
Posted by: la peregrina on Dec 3, 2007 1:40:55 PM
I am sorry to read this that you won't continue blogging but I do understand. I quit blogging once before and came back to it a few months later after a break. I hope you keep up this blog, if your system allows it, as I'd hate to see someone else take the name and I know how many people come onto blogs that are old to get knowledge that doesn't go out of date. If you decide to blog again in the future, keep my email address and let me know. I will be interested in your opinions on any topic.
Posted by: Rain on Dec 3, 2007 1:56:27 PM
Ronni, I have really enjoyed your blog, and have found a lot of good information in it. I'm sorry to hear that you are shutting down, but four years is a long time to maintain a blog. I find myself getting tired of coming up with something new to say, and I've only been at it for two years. I hope you'll let us know if you decide to start another blog somewhere, sometime in the future. Best wishes to you.
Posted by: Betty on Dec 3, 2007 2:11:17 PM
I have been reading your blog everyday as I went from 60 to 62. You have influenced me enormously, enabling me happily to claim my new role as an elder. Thank you so much for your wonderful work.
Posted by: Mary Joan Koch on Dec 3, 2007 2:30:20 PM
Dear Ronni -- this is devastating. I am so sorry. There have been a few blogs that truly inspired me: Jeanne d'Arc's, Steve Gilliard's, Billmon's, yours -- and now you are all gone.
At least you are still around. Don't let the bastards get you down as you go on to other venues. We don't have that option.
Posted by: janinsanfran on Dec 3, 2007 2:39:26 PM
Ronni, we are all going to miss you terribly.
I've been a regular reader for several years, and having you go offline is very sad.
Best of luck (and many thanks) to you!
Posted by: Paula on Dec 3, 2007 2:40:32 PM
Oh my God!!!!!!! I don't know what to say! I do understand your frustration and the toll it can take. You have been a wonderful leader for us elders and I don't want you to go. This breaks my heart and I hope you will reconsider. Like Rain, I hope, that should you decide to start a new project, that you keep my address and let me know. I will continue to rage against S. 1959 on my blog.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the friendship and encouragement you've given me. I probably never would have continued had it not been for you and I think a lot of others feel the same way. You have done a great thing here, Ronni, for those of us who are old. You gave us confidence, strength and a sense of community that doesn't exist for us elders in this big ugly world.
I am crying now and I don't think it's going to go away too soon. Then again, I always weep when I experience loss.
Please reconsider, Ronni.
Posted by: Kay Dennison on Dec 3, 2007 2:50:58 PM
Yours was about the only blog I read on a daily basis. You kept me informed of very important issues -- issues of importance not only to us older people, but issues of importance to all Americans. Your reach went far beyond what your metrics might have shown. I know that I forwarded many, many of your columns on to others -- young and old alike.
Yours is a voice of reason and must not be silenced. Please do not let the nay-sayers discourage you and drive you from your forum.
Add my voice to the others who ask you to continue "Times Goes By." This country needs you!
Posted by: ocean on Dec 3, 2007 2:56:27 PM
Gee, I am at a loss for words.
You're my rock, TGB a daily habit. But, I surely do understand your decision, sad though it be to your readers.
I am sure I speak for a lot folks when I say we wish you much happiness and success with whatever adventure awaits.
It's a long way to Tipperary,
It's a long way to go.
Posted by: Cowtown Pattie on Dec 3, 2007 3:08:23 PM
Thanks for what you did. I hope you will continue to share your ideas.
Posted by: GoingLikeSixty on Dec 3, 2007 3:09:35 PM
So sorry. Very. Sorry.
Just to let you know; you will be missed. And I must not forget...Thanks!
Posted by: Steven on Dec 3, 2007 3:27:25 PM
Thanks for providing an inspiring public presence for elders. I have enjoyed your writing - from my home in the Bush in Far North Queensland, Australia. Good on ya!
Posted by: Melis in Oz on Dec 3, 2007 3:28:07 PM
Really appreciated being posted on your Elder stories website. I have hundreds I could write so already have a good start on my third book about my caregiving journey.
I am also producing a film of 30 minutes or less on my journey through caregiving. I hope I can last through the time-consuming grant process.
I already have seed money and hope that will grow to be enough so that I won't go broke producing this film.
I will include the Raging Grannies that I sang with for several years,
footage of Homage on the Hill, a film honoring older women, my standup comedy OPEN MIKE appearance, dancing in the living room with my husband waving his arms in rhythm, singing a song I composed for our 50th wedding anniversary and going with my husband in his wheel chair to art museums, plant nurseries, family dinners and the like.
I will include our health aides, a visiting acupuncturist and dentist and physical therapist. I will show my husband getting out with the help of his electric lift out by our front steps and show his getting around with his walker, falteringly.
I do hope I can complete this journey into film production in a year or so as my husband is already 89 and I do want his and my journey to be remembered.
Anyone who knows of grant sources let me know. I will begin with our local neighborhood grants in Seattle and local community colleges etc.
When I get my book and film completed I am getting my own website along with millions of other people I suppose.
Thanks again for the outlet on your web, Ronnie.
Posted by: Georgie Bright Kunkel on Dec 3, 2007 3:31:06 PM
Your blog was inspired, one of the very best in the blogosphere, and I deeply regret your closing-down. Your great spirit though endures. All best!
Posted by: Rick on Dec 3, 2007 3:34:24 PM
Ronni, say it isn't so! I'm in denial that you're really shutting down TGB.
Ever since I found TGB, I've been inspired by your words. I've learned so much from you.
You have made and do make a difference here. I used to be one of those who recited platitudes like you're only as old (or young) as you feel; never thinking of the implicit connotation that old is bad and young is good. I get it now, thanks to you.
So, even if you stop TGB - and I do understand your reasoning, despite my feelings of denial - I hope to read you somewhere else. Please let us know if you start something else because I'll be there.
Posted by: ell on Dec 3, 2007 3:41:01 PM
Dear Ronni,
I respect your decisions with all my heart. What a loss for all of us not to have your blog. Oh dear! Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
I am holding you in my thoughts. You were my first and only real blog mentor and showed me much kindness.
Tamarika (Tamar)
Posted by: tamarika on Dec 3, 2007 3:49:54 PM
I'm very sorry to hear that we won't be able to hear from you any longer. I am also a young reader (23) with no connections beyond relatives to the elder generation. I just love to hear the perspectives and stories, and also to gain wisdom in how I should age. Nonetheless, writing for pleasure, should be just that. I'm sorry that the pain now outweighs the benefits.
Posted by: Irene on Dec 3, 2007 4:07:12 PM
Ronni, I understand, been looking in the mirror lately (61 years old)wondering why it as to be this way? Only been here a few months, really wish I could have known you better. Best of luck in whatever you do..Please keep my email and if you need to vent...write me and swear, it's alright..I do it all the time.
Dorothy from grammology..I think about giving up as well...
Posted by: Dorothy Stahlnecker on Dec 3, 2007 4:07:20 PM
Sorry to see you go. I am hoping to see you turn up again in some other form. You are too good of a journalist and advocate not to write somewhere.
Posted by: bill on Dec 3, 2007 4:20:24 PM
Noooooooooooooooooooo!
You're my daily fix. You're my continuing education. You're my inspiration.
Thank you. I do not blame you - daily negativity has to be extremely frustrating. Please know that I am deeply appreciative of your work.
I hope we can meet for lunch one day. I'm not that far from you.
Posted by: ces on Dec 3, 2007 4:22:42 PM
Wow, I am so surprised! I never thought I'd see the day. Thank you for your good work. You've opened my eyes on aging, that's for sure.
Posted by: Rhea on Dec 3, 2007 4:37:00 PM
The other day my stepdaughter went on the Elder Storytelling Place blog. She is 21.
I sent her there. She read about her step-grandmother. She told her friends. She sent the link to many.
My son went. The story was about him.
Hearing the 50-year old generation writing about the 70-year-old generation, the 20-somethings were impressed. They have their own place to speak, it is a very different place. But they also come here. We’re older, yes. But they can relate to us in a new way---because they too know that stereotypes no longer work.
There are 20-somethings that are ruling the business world.
There are 50-somethings that are just starting new careers.
There are 60-somethings leading companies.
There are 70-somethings that are fitter than their decades-younger counterparts.
There are 80-somethings that are traveling the world.
The groundbreakers, the rulebreakers, the new generation. Of all ages.
We are powerful. We don’t let old stereotypes get in our way. We empower the younger generation by our example. We don’t give up.
I hope you won’t Ronni. You’re one of us.
Posted by: Linda Davis on Dec 3, 2007 4:38:28 PM
I am very disappointed to read you are leaving before I scarcely got to know you, only weeks ago. And in that short time, you were a kind help to me. I don't understand all that has caused you to feel so disillusioned, but I'm sorry for it. Like the others, I do hope you will have a second incarnation. Please do let us know should that happen.
Sincerely,
Nora
Posted by: Code Name Nora on Dec 3, 2007 4:39:09 PM
Thank you for all the words and ideas. I'm really going to miss you!
Posted by: A lurker named Jane on Dec 3, 2007 4:40:17 PM
Ronni Tears in my eyes as I read your decision.
I have only been reading your post for several months as I am new to the blogging world. But your sharing has been what I needed to hear. I felt as though I had met a new and what would become a dear and close friend.
Please take care. You have too much to give just to stop. Maybe do not give as much. I would welcome even a monthly letter from you. Something but please do not let there be NOTHING.
Posted by: Ernestine on Dec 3, 2007 5:02:08 PM
Words can't express quite how bad I feel to know you're quitting. Because of you I had just about made the decision to let my natural hair color grow in, and to quit fantasizing about eyelid lift surgery that would make my eyes look too tight (!). But your lessons and example aren't lost. Like the other commentors, I hope you'll take a little time out and re-center yourself and come back. Your voice is too important to be silenced.
Posted by: Alice on Dec 3, 2007 5:29:35 PM
What they said--don't go, Ronni.
It's been great for us all, having you speaking truth to power. That's a selfish reason on our part--but won't you miss, even a little, being that loud public voice on our behalf?
Posted by: Betsy Devineb on Dec 3, 2007 5:56:57 PM
Hey Crabby--thanks...
Posted by: Steve on Dec 3, 2007 6:05:10 PM
Say it isn't so! I know that blogging can get tedious, and some people can be very negative, but we elders have to persevere. Come back when you're ready.
Posted by: Marlys Styne on Dec 3, 2007 6:18:30 PM
This is a terrible shame. I will really miss your blog and the good contacts and information. Thanks for all you have done and if you do start something up again, please let me know.
Edna
Posted by: Edna on Dec 3, 2007 6:18:51 PM
Thank you smart lady for it all.
If it isn't good for you to continue than you shouldn't. It's not easy to make that decision. Too few do it. Good for you.
Posted by: notdotdot on Dec 3, 2007 6:24:27 PM
"The fundamental things apply, as time goes by..." For giving us the fundamentals, for giving us your wisdom and your spirit, for giving us a sounding board, I thank you. The Irish have a saying when one leaves on a journey and returns home; they say, "Safe home." Safe home Ronni. All will be well for you.
Posted by: Marti on Dec 3, 2007 6:43:14 PM
I am heartbroken to read this. I only recently discovered your blog and it has been a breath of fresh air to finally read voices I could identify with and that wrote with enough life experience and wisdom to discuss and think intelligently about issues important to me and others my age. This is a gem among the internet drek. While I sincerely understand and am facing the same decision, I wanted to add my voice of support for all that you've done here. It's incredibly valuable, top quality and very much appreciated.
Posted by: Sandy on Dec 3, 2007 7:04:27 PM
Ronni, please reconsider. I'm sorry I didn't get here earlier today. I understand your frustration, but don't let them win! Take some time off and then come back to us, please?
Posted by: kenju on Dec 3, 2007 7:59:45 PM
I'm almost at a loss for words. I can wish that you might reconsider your decision, perhaps after a respite away from the blog, or with less frequent blogging, even mellowed intensity.
I realize you cited a confluence of many factors as the cause. I am tempted to refute them one by one as justifiable reasons for ending TGB. But, most important of all is doing what is best for you, what gives you pleasure, so I respect your decision, as I selfishly experience an intense sense of loss.
Posted by: joared on Dec 3, 2007 8:21:52 PM
This is a real shocker. 4 and a 1/2 years is a long time. So it's understandable that you want to shut down this operation. Heck, this is your website afterall. In any case, we will miss your opinions and insights. Best of luck in your future endeavours and thank you so much for your years of hard work!
Posted by: Paul @ Elders Tribune on Dec 3, 2007 8:33:21 PM
I understand burn out. I am only sorry I have been too busy painting in my own world, and have not been reading you on a regular basis. So I have not been supportive for you. I for one have wanted to find euphanisms for being old, but because of your blog and Rain, I have written and illustrated a book for my grandchildren. In it I refer to myself as Granny and paint dreams of when I get to be older. I wish you well and hope to hear of you again.
Posted by: diane widler wenzel on Dec 3, 2007 9:00:58 PM
I'm adding my voice to say that even though I just discovered you a few months ago, I feel the same way as the others. While respecting your decision to do whatever you need to do, I too, will miss your unique perspective on this journey. Thank you.
Posted by: SunnySchlenger on Dec 3, 2007 9:14:29 PM
I, too, am very sorry to see you go. I will miss your insightful comments, your sense of humor, and yes, your outrage at things that are outrageous. I've enjoyed getting to read your blog and knowing you, and I hope that you may still have (or may resume) some presence on the 'net, even if it isn't this one.
Posted by: Laura on Dec 3, 2007 9:30:11 PM
