The Ups and Downs of Aging

Often, it seems, there is no accounting for one’s emotional tone. For no apparent reason, sometimes, there is a general irritation when even a twittering bird might be annoying. On other days - dark and gloomy and sunshiny alike - a sense of elation prevails although there is no event, past, present or future, to cause it.

More often, nowadays, I live with sense of well-being that is a few notches above neutral, in a state where there is time to note the freshness of a breeze through an open window, to pause in amusement at the serious demeanor of the cat at his bath or to enjoy, for a moment, the satisfaction of a sparkling kitchen after a clean-up.

Small pleasures, to be sure, but they arrive now with a frequency I don’t remember in my youth. In those days, perhaps into my forties and even fifties, my emotional temperature was more volatile and seems to have been not much in my control. The highs were as out of proportion for the circumstances as the lows, although I don’t think I recognized the disparity, and a minor disappointment could dampen my mood for days.

I can’t think where to look for the information, but I recall reading somewhere that emotions become less charged as we age. It’s hard to believe, however, when a politician’s – or a president’s – idiot actions send me off in high dudgeon.

Although the serenity I would like to achieve one day is far from - and may forever be beyond - my grasp, I do more easily now take the time to smell the flowers, as it were, and find more pleasure in the ordinary than when I was young.

Some of my newfound contentment may be due to choosing my obligations now rather than being subject to others’ demands on my time in exchange for a paycheck. Or, maybe it is related to getting old.

Either way, Crabby Old Lady doesn’t seem ready to retire any time soon. As the late Gilda Radner used to say, “there’s always something” to get Crabby’s knickers in a twist.

[At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Leah Aranoff has two poems for us, Now You See It and Oh Blessed Noise.]

Comments

[Marian Van Eyk McCain]

I've noticed the same thing too. I still react strongly to certain external situations (e.g. I find disappointment hard to handle with equanimity) but gone are the days of those mood swings that appear to have no cause. I've put this down to the blessed release from the tyranny of female hormones. IMO that's one of the best perks of getting to be an old woman.

[sablonneuse]

Yes, definitely, saying goodbye to hormonal moodswings (and all that went with them) is a blessed relief. Also, since retirement it is a pleasure to be able to do what you want when you want and stop when you want (most of the time anyway) which more than makes up for the fact that time seems to pass more and more quickly as you get older.

[Ernestine]

My highs use to be like I was on the mountain top and could fly.
The lows like I was in a deep pit.
Thankfully my emotions are not that volatile.
Thankfully there is a deep peace and I do not question everything as much or have the need to be in control.
It takes very little to satisfy me and make me smile at this time of life.
Simplicity is wonderful.
Still have projects, challenges,
desires but they do not consume me.
Just wish that my days did not fly by so quickly.

[Kay Dennison]

My drama days are gone, too, although there are still things that can trip my trigger.

I have found that a lot of baggage I used to carry is gone and life is simpler. I like that.

The delight of my week last week was when an iris plant, that a previous resident planted, bloomed. I wish I'd photographed it.

[Stacie]

I have just received a book that addresses some of the topics you have raised, Molecules of Emotion, by Candace Pert, Ph.D.
Those little hormones and other bodily chemicals are pretty powerful! Great post...

[Cap'n Jan]

Its called 'hormones'. Or lack thereof. Period.

Men have the same problem, but the poor guys are tortured with it throughout their lives. They are so dragged around by their continuous testosterone flow (and derivatives and precursors) in their youth, that the habits are lifelong. Women, at least get a respite every month - more or less ;->.

I have got to say that I love not going around in a hormonal mating rage full time. It is nice to finally be on the ship 'Clear Thinking', without too much fear of falling overboard as in years past...

[Peg]

Yes, the lack of hormones is a wonderful thing. Freedom from emotional excess is such relief. But I find the biggest thing of all, as you mentioned, is my greater awareness of those beautiful little things that are in every moment. I seem to see them now without effort and to have little bursts of joy many times a day. I guess when I was younger my intense interior world kept me from seeing them.

[Nancy]

This morning I went to our local hospital to have a blood test. The hospital is run by the Sisters of Mercy.

While the technician was finding a vein to tap, the loud speaker crackled and all heads went up because they knew the Mother Superior was about to make an announcement.

"Today we are going to have special prayer due to the behavior of the Senior Citizens in the Senior Activity Center. We will now say the Rosary in the hope that the activities of the Seniors will improve and they will no longer require our Heavenly petitions."

I think I now know where all those hormones you folks are missing have gone.

[Claire Jean]

I consciously remind myself not to become overly emotional. Most days, I succeed. Many times, I’ll just stop listening to the news and that helps.

[Alice]

Give up listening to the news! Yah, that does help. These days I've pretty much sworn off CNN and all the networks. I get my news either online or on the PBS channels (Jim Lehrer and the ilk). Makes a world of difference!

[Peter Tibbles]

What is this "sparkling kitchen after a clean-up"? I don't think I know this. I've heard rumors of such a thing but thought it was just an urban myth.

Alas, I'm still selling myself for that pay packet. Only four days a week now, so I guess I'm twenty percent less stressed that I used to be.

I like Kurt Vonnegut's dictum I heard recently in an interview after he died. He said that his grand-father told him: when something is really appealing (a good lunch with friends and fine wines does it for me) stop and say "If this isn't nice I don't know what is." Years ago I'd have found this too hokey for words but I've done this a couple of times in the last year or so and it does bring a smile to my companion and me. She's taken to saying it too.

[Geri Atric]

Hi Ronnie,
Interesting post! It reminded me so well of my own 'hormonal years'...Bah! Doing something mindless - but constructive - like clearing out the attic, or garden shed can sometimes help take you out of yourself for a while... and a nice cup of tea often works wonders too! Cheers!

[Sharon Perrin]

I get great pleasure sitting in my recliner and watching the birds eating at my bird feeder and then seeing them get a drink at the nearby birdbath. I get great pleasure watching the flowers that I planted in my garden last year appearing again this year. I must admit, though, that I don't get any pleasure watching the bunnies eating them. Although I can say on most days that I know the bunnies need to eat just like the birds do!

[Pamela]

Ah yes, freedom from hormonal ups and downs and kiss goodbye to the screaming banshee. Do agree with Ernestine about simplifying everything and with Ronnie about choosing one's obligations.

Interesting post.