Vintage TGB: 7 September 2004

[ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to apparent lack of interest, This Week in Elder News, which has been published here on Saturdays since January 2008, is being discontinued. Until further notice, this space will be filled each week with past stories corresponding to a date of approximately five years ago – sometimes updated, sometimes not.]

I Am Julia Roberts

An American girl learns, as early as her pre-teen years, that if she is not a natural beauty – as defined by the producers of movies, television and Seventeen magazine - she is required by the youth-and-beauty police to do everything possible to enhance her best features and play down her worst. Not too much later than age 12 or 13 these days, that involves cosmetic surgery. Yes, even teens undergo the knife to “improve” their appearance.

In my youth, such procedures were unavailable to women who were not wealthy and it was shocking to hear of the rare child who had her ears “pinned back” or nose reshaped. With or without those extreme measures, our ordinary method of enhancement involves the diligent application of cosmetics. It is astonishing how proficient we women become at creating, for example, the illusion of cheekbones Mother Nature denied us, and I was an enthusiastic participant.

I wanted to be pretty, and I wasn’t. Or, at least, I wasn’t by the standards of Hollywood which establishes our criteria for beauty. I was particularly disturbed by my freckles which were considered merely cute – never beautiful – and I didn’t think my eyes were shaped the way they “should” be. When I was about ten and was experimenting one day with makeup with some school friends, an “older” girl, who was probably about 12 (named Olive; I never forgot that or what she said), told me my lips were too small.

And so I became expert at applying cosmetics to push my appearance as close to the prevailing definition of beautiful as possible – and that is a time-consuming task each morning. But so brainwashed was I that beginning in high school and ever after, I would not leave the house – not even for a quick trip to the deli – unless I was in full war paint.

I have envied women who can walk out into the world barefaced and fully confident. Who can skip the 20-minute preparation routine. Who can just be – and be happy about it. In my extreme youth, I admired Loretta Young for that kind of look. Later, it was Katharine Hepburn. And for the past decade or so, it has been Julia Roberts.

Peel away the movie makeup and she is still gorgeous. She has never looked at a beautiful woman across a room and thought, “I should just put a bag over my head.” If Ms. Roberts is inclined to go to the corner for the newspaper, she has never said to herself, “Oh, damn. Gotta put on my makeup first.”

Many times I have asked myself what it could be like to be Julia Roberts, to be free always of the constant concern, every day, for my appearance.

There comes a time in getting older when a woman gradually spends less time hanging out at cosmetic counters hoping to find the one new product that will turn her into Julia Roberts. After a while, the cosmetics shelf in the bathroom isn’t quite as crowded as it once was. And it soon follows that applying makeup every morning comes to feel tedious. Then one day, as I did a couple of years ago, you meet a friend for coffee – without any makeup at all.

And nothing happened. No one pointed fingers. The waiter didn’t refuse to take my order. I was not shunned in the street. And since then, I have reserved makeup - pared down to the minimum needed to smooth out blotchiness and add a small amount of color - for business and dress-up social occasions.

It has taken 50 years but at last I can leave the house without thinking about my appearance. Woohoo - I have achieved my goal: I am Julia Roberts.

Comments

[kenju]

Thank God I got there, too. I love being at an age where I can accept the way I look without wishing I were different.

Ronni, I had no lack of interest in your Sat. posts, but these will be fun to read too, since I didn't know you then.

[Nancy]

Ronni,

Like Kenju, I enjoyed your Saturday posts but these reruns will be interesting also because we will be able to see where you were and what you were thinking a few years ago.

[Gerry]

Hi

I was always interested in your Saturday posts. Hope you will reconsider and consider posting them again in the future.
Gerry

[Cop Car]

Fortunately, beauty was never prized in our home or in our family. Being clean, neat, and "decently" dressed (in the sense of not showing too much skin) were the criteria.

I never saw a fashion magazine until I was well past my most formative years, working in a library. I was shocked when my chem lab prof suggested that the only other girl in my class and I might want to skip his class one day to attend a local fashion show. Was he kidding?!

Then, I married. My MIL and two SILs (one, an absolute knock-out, natural classic beauty), like Ronni, didn't leave the house without being properly groomed and dressed. I thought I needed to emulate them to please Hunky Husband. I wore makeup to work.

So...I'll repeat what I wrote, before, "Wouldn't it be interesting to have THE Julia Roberts drop in to tell us how she felt about her appearance as a teenager. I'm guessing that she didn't (maybe still doesn't) consider herself to meet "requirements". Except for eyebrow pencil (I've no observable eyebrows of my own--light coloration), I've not spent time on makeup since I was in my late 30s. As you say: No one has refused me service, guys did make passes, my family still love me. [Trust me on this: I was never much to look at--with or without makeup. It's attitude and actions that count!]"

And, now, like Ronni, most days my face is bare, even of eyebrown pencil. Think of the time we save!

[Ronni Bennett]

Nice to hear that some enjoyed This Week in Elder News. But over the past two or three months, reader statistics have gradually dropped until they are at less than half the other six days.

As in my old television life, when the ratings go, so does the show.

I had a lot of fun doing This Week in Elder News and it was a good place to stash some items and information I liked that wouldn't make a whole post, but it was a lot of busy work to produce. So unless I sense there is more interest, we'll stick with Vintage TGB for the near future.

[Nikki]

Did I miss something? Did you ask for feedback re the Elder News day? Why do you think we're not interested? Just curious. Anyway, I LOVED that news day, so I also hope you'll reconsider! :)

I was one who never wore makeup. And definitely not because I'm beautiful without it! I'm quite plain, with or without it. But I could never STAND the feeling of putting anything on my face. Powder or liquid or whatever. Just couldn't stand it. So at the most I did eyeliner and lipstick.

With all the damage the sun (and aging) has done to my skin, people might really appreciate it if I used a foundation. Ha! But nope... I just can't do it. I couldn't do it 40 years ago and I still can't.

[chancy]

So far I like the "NEW" Saturday format. I almost never missed "This Week In Elder News" but: Hey, sometimes change is good.

[MissDazey]

This seems to be "you can please some of the people sometimes", but cannot "please all of the people at all times". Since I just discovered your blog, reading some of the older ones would help me get acquainted & learn more about this blog. There is no way I can go back and read 5 years of posts.

As for the news, I read several sites everyday myself.

As usual I have a question~ Have you ever thought of putting a forum, discussion group type thing in additions to the blog. Similar to the ning.com format?

Ronni, thanks for the link to your photo biography. I looked at several this morning.

MissDazey

[mary jamison]

I liked the roundup on Saturdays too. But I'm not as religious about getting online on the weekends as on weekdays. I wonder if it's more about the day than the content.

[sharon]

Hi

I really looked forward to your Saturday posts. I found I didn't click on the link until later in the week and almost always found something I saved.

Recently I have gotten overwhelmed by reading so much on health care reform and have stopped reading these links.

[HappyPonderer]

Lack of interest? I looked forward every week. I guess reading, enjoying, reflecting, by ourselves was not enough. Too bad.

[notdotdot]

Lack of interest? No, no, no! Looked forward to it every week. Was I supposed to do something other than enjoy and/or reflect?

[Ronni Bennett]

Like I said above in the comments, there have been so few readers on Saturdays compared to other days and I've watched those numbers drop dramatically over the past three months that I wonder if it's worth the several hours a week it takes to compile the Elder News.

Maybe it's just summertime that caused the drop off.

And if people really do enjoy it, maybe I'll do it again and post a Vintage TGB when I have extra-busy weeks. We'll see.

[Flora]

I loved your replay on this subject. When I was in my forties and my daughter was about 16, she shamed me out of wearing makeup. Despite a stubborn case of acne, she wouldn't put it on herself. She told me, "When boys have to wear makeup, then I might do it, too." Now I notice that, increasingly, men are dyeing their hair and paying more attention to their appearance. It seems like the wrong direction to go in.

[liloldme]

I'm a regular reader, and have enjoyed your TGB material for a very long time, and start each day reading what you have to say.
Thank you for all the time you have devoted to this site. It truly is appreciated.

[Tarzana]

Yes, it's great to forgo the face paint and hairdo routine. Now it's morphed into the mustache and chin hairs routine.

I enjoy the Sat. posts, but your taking a break for the weekend works for me.

[Mage]

Are you judging lack of interest by lack of notes. I always read that column and gain from it. Yes, I loved Julia, all those Julias.....but these days news, views, and humor trump Julia. :)

Elder food. Teach us how to eat right. Elder recipes....I adore cookbooks but always cook too much. :)

[Judith]

The low numbers for This Week In Elder News may be due to the fact that some others do what I do: rarely ready blogs on the weekends or holidays. However I do read back during the week. I value these looking back articles, but wish you would reconsider posting Elder News during the week. It was very helpful and interesting and I often followed the links.

[Linda]

Lack of Interest???!!! Not here, my friend. I read TGB daily and enjoy your perspective on many subjects. Hope you will reconsider....

[Darlene]

I always read TGB, but not always as early as I used to before writing my own blog. Nonetheless, I do read it daily so whatever you post will be fine with me.

As for makeup; I still don't feel comfortable in public without it. Some habits die hard.

[kenju]

Ronni, I think everyone's stats drop on weekends - I know mine do.

[fp]

Have I told you lately that you are one of the people whose blog makes a difference, whose work provides entertainment and information as well as a sense of community among us elders? Thought I should say that first before my awkward confession that I've been drawn to F***book and twitter recently, enough so that I don't read as many blogs as I would like to. It's a matter of personal bandwidth. twitter is insidious, much like Freecell or Spider Solitaire. It's a time eater.

Anyway, when I do drop in, I stay and I read or at least scan lots of posts. It's your blog (and your time) and I respect your editorial choices, but here's my two cents about the choice between old posts and the elder news: do the old posts, because it doesn't take a lot of time, but do the elder news too, as you have time for it. Simple, no? If it's too much effort to compose, then forget I said anything, but on those Saturdays when you can post both, we--your readers--will be doubly rewarded.

[lilalia]

Ronni, did you arrive at the idea that there was a lack of interest because there were little or no commenting, or because the reader count was so down? I really looked forward to the news pieces and nearly always went over to the linked articles or watched the videos. I guess because it was news, I didn't think to comment at all. What I particularly liked is that you mixed the light-hearted with the profound. Whether you decide to bring it back or not, I want to thank you for the work you did producing those posts.

[Alice]

I'm okay with whatever you decide to do, because I almost always enjoy what I see here. Plus I know how hard it is to blog every day. As for visitors, I have to admit I can't read blogs every day but I usually catch up during the week and rarely read them on weekends. I must say I enjoyed your re-visit topic today. I've never worn what you can call makeup. As a teenager my skin was too oily, and as a old lady makeup just gets in the wrinkles and ages me rather than youth-inize me. What I call "made up" for me is a moisturizer base, a teensy weensy swipe of blusher for color and a quick dusting of loose powder to cut the shine. And that only when I'm going out and dressing up. If people can't accept me sans makeup, then they just don't get me at all!