Letting Go of Stuff

The Macklin Intergenerational Institute is a non-profit organization that, among other programs, teaches younger people what it is like to be old through its “xtreme aging training” sessions.

In one of the exercises, attendees are given 11 sticky notes and asked to write down five possessions, the names of three loved ones and three privileges they enjoy – one on each piece of paper. As the training continues, these are removed one-by-one until only three remain, probably one in each category. That's all you can take when you move to a nursing home.

When I first read about this training exercise several years ago, I tried it for myself. Even on paper, it was painful. With each successive removal, it felt like I was reduced in physical size as though I'd eaten an Alice in Wonderland cookie, and that I was closing down like the iris of a camera until I felt small, unimportant, empty. No, it was worse: I was devastated that my entire life came down to so little.

Maybe that is what the accumulation of stuff is about: expanding our footprint in the world, reinforcing our existence, telling the world, "I'm here!" And, perhaps, without our stuff, we don't feel like other people know that.

Okay, I'm not ready for a nursing home yet. Aside from a noticeable loss of energy and stamina over the past few years, I'm healthy, capable and fit. But this aging exercise came to mind during the past few days as I contemplate and begin to prepare for a 3000-mile move to the west coast. It's a good opportunity to get rid of a lot of stuff to reduce moving costs and help make a fresh start in a new place.

To get you in the mood for the rest of this post, here is George Carlin's famous take on Stuff:

It is astonishing how attached I am to my stuff. But...

Half the books can go; nobody needs 3500 books and perhaps the public library here will want some of them. I'll never read most of the fiction again, so that's relatively easy. I recently counted up 30-odd teeshirts at least half of which I haven't worn since I moved from New York nearly four years ago. There is other clothing in the back of closets I never wear.

I'm surprised at how little furniture I have – just the normal stuff: dining room, a sofa and chair in the living room, desk, two beds, a dresser, some end and occasional tables, a sideboard and lovely little cupboard. Oh, the filing cabinets; I'm sure at least half the papers in them can be tossed. One friend has suggested selling furniture before moving and buying new once I've bought a home in Oregon. Unlikely; I like what I have.

There is a large number of framed pictures of various kinds most of which have never been hung here in Maine because there is a dearth of wall space given the 13 windows and 12 doors. I haven't missed looking at them, but there is sentimental value and perhaps a place for them in my new home. Should I ditch them or not? And what about all the gardening pots of various sizes?

There is a huge collection of china from my aunt and grandmother – without question, that goes with me. And an extensive amount of good cooking equipment collected over a lifetime. I surely don't need it all, but you never can tell when you might want a 19-inch-in-diameter frying pan or a bowl big enough to hold the dough for four loaves of bread. (I'm being silly about those two things, aren't I?)

This isn't going to be easy.

Some people, when they retire, downsize to smaller homes. In my case, I upsized from what was a fairly typical New York City one-bedroom (not much bigger than many suburban family rooms), and I will undoubtedly choose a home in Oregon of similar square footage as I have now.

So your assignment today is a discussion of stuff, our attachment to it and how to choose what to lose. What are your personal experiences with it from retirement downsizing to just cleaning out the detritus. Was it easy to make choices or not? Was there anything you later regretted getting rid of? And how does growing old change your attachment to stuff?

---

At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Madonna Dries Christensen: Celtic Runes

Comments

[Linda Skupien]

Thank ypu for your post! My "sticky-note" eye opener was my 90-year-old mother's decision to move from the four-bedroom family home of 40 years to a studio apartment in a retirement community by April 1, 2009. She had planned to keep the house for at least several months to give herself time to change her mind if she wanted to about staying in the apartment or just about what to dispose of or incorporate into her new space

Someone wanted to buy the house and close by April 15 though, before it ever went on the market. The experience of dealing with a lifetime of papers, books, photos was hard for her and for my brother and me. It was a whirlwind and I wonder what we missed during the whirlwind. I still have 20 boxes or more unopened in storage in my home. The experience started me on a frantic surge of clearing out and organizing -- those boxes from Mother's as well as my own lifetime accumulation. That lasted a couple weeks until elder care issues halted me. But I am still determined. I have a new perspective on what has value and what does not. Although the clearing out and organizing has just about stopped, I am accumulating less and tending to the glue of personal relationships more. Thank you, again, Ronni, for the issues you address so deftly.

[Freda]

A thought about stuff.... as we get older the thought of clearing out cupboards of things we don't need gets harder. So the answer is to take the opportunity and do it now.Hope you find somewhere to feel truly at home.

[estelle bruno]

the kids will take what they want, then they call the Veterans, they will take everything.

[jenclair]

I was trying to pare down some of my own stuff, when my brothers and I found ourselves trying to clean out our parents' home. For sentimental reasons, I wanted to keep items that had memories attached and then had to make room them. Overall, I'm pleased with what I've kept and have on display because the "things" remind me of Mother.

I've been donating books for about 10 years now, sometimes 30 or 60 at a time to the library, the college book sale, and to a retirement living establishment near us. In the meantime, I seem to be accumulating replacements.

What we need physically and what we need emotionally are very different.

[Annie]

I cleared out a lot of stuff during my last move, but when the movers came to assess the cost of moving what remained, it was clear that I had not been nearly ruthless enough. My main issues are clothes that I like but never wear(!), and books that I never read. These two items make me painfully aware of how my attachment to stuff slows me down. Sometime in the next couple of years I am going to have to deal with that because I am contemplating another serious move, perhaps not unlike your own.

The best advice I have heard is, get someone to help you in the downsizing exercise. They will be objective in the areas that you are not able to be. I hope to follow my own advice.

A few years ago some friends and I were discussing the stuff issue, and we thought that lots of older people have it on their minds and there's a particular time, soon after the last kid moves out, that a lot of women feel the urge to clear out the accumulation and downsize the living space to something a little more manageable. But I notice that it is an ongoing battle, as fast as I clear stuff out, I start accumulating again. I've been buying new books like there was no tomorrow...

[mary follett]

I will tape your piece to my front door this morning..I am leaving a house of 43 years for probably a studio, hopefully a one bedroom in the big city..all your points hit home for sure..children can be "helpful" in my resistance to purge..two of the three told me their plan was to hire a couple of day laborers and a dumpster and just tell them to toss everything, pix, books, china, etc..after I calmed down, I began in earnest, but it is a process of letting go..thanks for the hints about the books..great writing..thank you for the gentle information...Mary Follett

[Marian Van Eyk McCain]

The last three moves we've made have been between countries, and I found that nothing focuses the mind like having to fit all one's precious 'stuff' into a limited space in an (expensive) shipping container. That weakened my hoarding tendencies dramatically. Then Don Aslett finished them off with his marvellous (and hilarious) book: 'Clutter's Last Stand,' which I highly recommend.
As regards keepsakes: I've found that all I really need are the very small, functional ones that I can use in my everyday life. Example: the tiny, ivory-sided pincushion that lived in Grandma's sewing basket all of my childhood and which lives on in mine. Small things can do the job just as well as big ones: a ring, a brooch, a letter-opener, a small dish...all the keepsakes I keep to remind me of deceased loved ones I could fit into a shoebox. But they are powerful. For me, it's about quality (i.e. how well those objects evoke the warm memories), rather than quantity.

[Redstocking Grandma]

I am a public librarian in affluent Nassau County, In general libraries only welcome books for books sales. They very rarely put anything in the collection and wind up throwing out lots of books.

Hospitals, drop in centers for the mentally ill are much better bets.

When deciding to get rid of books, I check if my favorites are still available in the Nassau County library system.

[Gaea Yudron]

First of all, only 5% of older adults ever wind up in a nursing home, just to get that out of the way, and Ronni I predict you will not be one of them.

About stuff: I am a person who finds great enjoyment in giving things away and de-cluttering. I still have what I consider a fair amount of stuff, enough for a one-bedroom abode. There is still stuff I could pass along or give up and I regularly review my stuff and winnow it down--books, CDs, clothing, beautiful objects all potential for gifting or giveaway. Who would love this? I ask myself. It is satisfying when they do.

Best to you as you explore what to keep and how to pack it up for your move.

[mary jamison]

"Stuff" is pretty relative, don't you think? Somebody with a 3000-sq-ft home may purge their stuff--and still have more than somebody with a 1400-sq-ft home started out with!

Like you, when I moved last, I upsized from a 700-sq-ft place to an 1100-sq-ft place. (I traded a hard-to-maintain, multi-level old house for a basic 1950s ranch.) All I got rid of was junk. I kept lots of silly sentimental stuff (posters from the '60s); I had room, and the relatively small amount of such stuff didn't add to the cost of moving it.

Warning to those who are cleaning up from their parents: Both my sister and I were overwhelmed with cleaning out my parents' house. As a result, we fell into that "get rid of everything" mode with our own stuff, and, after a couple of years, started to miss it. Now I advise people to wait, or at least to weed conservatively.

It might be a personality thing. I met a woman recently who's moved several times, and continues to move boxes she never opens because she (1) wants to know the stuff is there and (2) has a place to store it.

[Beryl Ament]

Interestingly enough, the Wall Street Journal had an article today noting that that hoarding is in the draft version of the revised Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. "One new diagnosis: hoarding, where people have significant difficulty discarding personal possessions. Hoarding can lead to significant distress, and including it in the DSM is expected to increase public awareness and stimulate diagnosis and research into the disorder."

As George Carlin remarks, "One man's stuff is another man's ****." I have one friend who suffers anguish over re-arranging her stuff. She just handed over to me copies of the news reports about the Duke of Windsor and Mrs. Simpson.

[Anca Preda]

I'be been thinking lately about getting old. It is not fear. Actually I would love it in some way. Maybe with aging beauty goes, strength goes as well, hair is getting white, teeth fall, skin looks bad whatever. But some other things come with it. I think wisdom and interior peace should be first. It would be great to look in the mirror and not get terrified of what you see even if you look worse than you did in your youth. You can smile, and love your wrinkles. I know it might sound weird but I really enjoy wrinkles. Each one is a sign time has passed and you have achieved something. I am experiencing my first wrinkles, as a 30 yrs old woman. I consider that sport and being active is an important part of life, but one shouldn't fall obsessed with it. Time passes away pretty fast. Some time ago I have put away my fears of not being liked by others,not being perfect, and I just let myself be what I am, and it gets better day by day. In the end none can take away your memories and none can take away from you ho you are. I've learned that every woman is beautiful in her own way, no matter how. Staying between older friends,mother and aunts I have draw some conclusions to myself. There are regrets. It's part of life. Doing what you like at the right time without harming yourself is good.(grandma wished she could have traveled and see the world). Being close to your children is also important( my mother wished she had time to stay with us). Many women when telling what they have done in their life tend to open their eyes wide, while expressions like hoy, compassion, regret,wonder,sadness all pass through their eyes. Keeping decency and avoiding hatred seems to make women age so nicely. Old educated but humble women are such a great company which I love so much. I admire active old ladies. I am glad somehow that now a woman of 30-40-50 is not seen as doomed,but even older than that women can do great things. I don't know if anyone understood this, but I just wished to say to myself and others like me that I am so glad to age and to achieve that serenity that I admire so much in some wise old fellows.

[ernestine]

I have had a lot of experiencing in downsizeing. Beginning with a 800 sf home and life brought the really big homes. Alone after a 23 year marriage I began to downscale gradually.
Each time giving away items that had no value to me. My last move to the small home - I planned surrounded by nature. 1300 sf plus a guest loft area - because of children, grandchildren and resale in the future.
I am down to special items that my children do not have room for at this time. Also there are items that were my mother's, grandmother's and great grandmother's. These items make me feel connected, loved and bring back memories.
My great grandmother's clock and sewing basket. My grandmother's vase and small dish that sets on a table beside my bed were given to me by my mother who passed away 10 years ago today at 82 years of age.
I am still organizing in this smaller space. It is a process and does not happen immediately.
I DO NOT MISS ANYTHING THAT I GAVE AWAY.
Oh, I will take that back. I miss my wonderful mixer. I was not going to bake as much and thought hand mixer would do. Oh, I miss that mixer that I gave away.
If I was going to a nursing home - my special books and maybe a couple of other small items - that is it.

[janinsanfran]

It took me one solid month to clear the accumulation of 50 years out of my parents' home when my mother died. I still feel I did a good job of it.

Now I look around and worry about the stuff here. We haven't moved since 1992 and probably don't plan to for awhile, if ever. But I must get started ...

Maybe I'd have less anxiety about this if I'd done more of it.

[Steven]

My experience with 'stuff'. When my middle sister died, my younger sister and I were the ones responsible for disposing of her stuff. We did a good job. And felt good about it until the day I walked out to the garage and there were the last three boxes that now represented my sister and her life. That's it? I was devastated. I had a moment of clarity when I realized that this was going to be the experience that one or more of my children will have. After all my 'stuff's sold or given away, I will be just a few boxes.
(They will also have to assume responsibility for those three boxes of my sister's things. I couldn't throw them out and have carried them with us...)

[Pam (lady luz)]

I had to chuckle about the moving de-cluttering ...I don't envy you having to make the decisions.

We thought we'd had a good prune to move here - each from our separate homes - yet we're still storing boxes of vinyl, old pictures, videos and photos. I think we'll have to accept that we're excellent at hoarding (the Diogenes syndrome) as,now, we find a whole lot of other stuff has crept in.

One day......

Maybe a good idea to take Gaea's tips about giving away and Marian's about paring down to the essential keepsakes.

[Rain]

I am attached to 'stuff' and feel at the same time tied down by it. I both want it and see it as limiting; so it's an ongoing conflict. The idea of selling this farm is really frightening (and the day will have to come) because we not only have the house with 'stuff' but all over out there and out there means barns, sheds, garage, and a shop. the more space you have for 'stuff' the more you seem to accumulate and a farm needs a lot of it to run.

I have cleared out two households-- my mother's and my mother-in-law's. I kept almost none of any of it because I felt it would only make my daily life more complicated. We either threw away or donated whatever the rest of the family did not want. I hope my kids don't have to do that much for me but sometimes the end comes unexpectedly or we just cannot manage to be ruthless ourselves. It's not fun having to be ruthless with someone else's treasures either.

Recently in getting our Tucson house ready for a vacation rental, I had to go through a lot down there too. Even in a second home, I had managed to accumulate a lot. It's easy to do and hard to undo. Books in particular (both places) have a way of overpowering my home.

[SuzyR]

I moved last September, and whereas I got rid of a lot of stuff before the move, I still have too many things.

Here's a good article about detaching from "stuff": http://goodlifezen.com/2010/02/11/7-benefits-of-practicing-detachment-from-s-t-u-f-f/

[SuzyR]

This is for Rain. When I clicked your name, the link went to the wrong place. So I typed in http://rainydaythought.blogspot.com/ and then it went to the right place. Thought you might like to know so people can see your gorgeous photos.

[Nance]

After my mother died and my father's dementia was diagnosed, I watched and participated in the deconstruction of his material life: from a house he'd built in 1959, full of 45 years of Stuff; to a few pieces of furniture and framed photos for assisted living; to the t-shirt, pajama bottoms, two framed pictures and three CD's that still hovered about him when he died in skilled nursing. Scott Peck said somewhere that, with aging, we slowly give up everything, and, unless we get really good at that, we'll find it almost unbearable. My Dad did not hold on; he lightened his load and slipped away unburdened. That will be my goal.

[Peggy]

When I moved to the UK, all we could afford was one container for myself and two children. It was the smallest container available too. It came down to art, photos, some essential kitchen things, a small oak table (legs removed and taped underneath) and other things I couldn't live without. I stumbled across the list the other day. A few things still feature in my life but some things I thought were SO important, are gone. It cured me of my need to have "stuff".

[tamarika]

The only things I care about are objects, letters etc. that my son made for me or gave me at one point or another in his life. The rest can go.
Good luck with this move, Ronni. I am sure your heart will find her home.
Best wishes,
tamar(ika)

[Rita]

Four years ago our dear friends joined the Peace Corps in their early 50's, after their youngest graduated from high school. They kept asking us if we wanted (fill in the blank), but we were unable to grasp that they would purge everything. They did have a storage place for photos, professional files, and a few boxes of stuff. But household goods were all gone--down to the last teaspoon. They are now back in the US and reestablished a pared-down household, 1 bedroom apartment furnished with IKEA. We have a big empty nest now and have begun purging. Until we downsize, I think we'll hang onto much more than we should. We're contemplating renting out our house for a year and traveling, which would force the issue. I hope we do that. Good luck with your decision-making!

[Mage B]

Wonderful Carlin. Thank you.

Sometimes I feel I am an expert on getting and getting rid of stuff. Generations of stuff boiled down to me. Multiple families of stuff came to us. To make it worse, both of us are collectors.

G and I met in a tiny beach cottage, and we moved to a nice top of an office building home of 3000 sq feet. Yes, we filled it side to side with stuff. My mother's antiques, his parents things, and when my step father died, all the grandparents things plus his and his mother's hoarded stuff.

It all became a bit overwhelming when we moved into a temporary stop at an 800 sq foot apartment. The yard sale....I only miss the craftsman era dishes and my mother's accordion. We filled a giant storage space plus the apartment until we bought this 1100 sq foot condo. Here we were forced to face our own acquisitions and deal with them.....finally.

It took us 30 days to get this place ready to move in to. We outlined a space in the middle of the garage that was just big enough for our truck, and we had the movers fill it up to the brim, drove the truck in, and closed the door behind it. Over the next few months, we sorted. I learned a lot.

Art. Keep the art. Clothes? Do you wear it? No....out it goes. Dishes? Do they tug at your heart? Keep them, otherwise, out they go. I find I now have three sets of pots....and there they are because my G gave me the biggest set.

My advice is if you don't use it, get rid of it. Books. No, they are not all replaceable. Consider each one before you donate it. When my big house burned, I lost my books. Hardbounds that I used. Some science fiction is not replaceable....ditto good fiction. Something that was a buck a year ago used is now fifty. I'm still looking for books.

Furniture? I use everything I have left but the grandfather clock. I did get rid of the dining room table and chairs to replace them with smaller ones. Downsized the sofa too. All the bookcases are keepers, but much of the office stuff could go out, much of the linens, and cupboard things could go out also plus three of the five computers. Even my fabrics could go out....and I quilt.

Donate: Do you have a Cancer Society Thrift store, a DAV, an AMVETS, a Salvation Army, or does your library get matching funds from sales.

There's one more move in my future.....to something one story tall. This place is three floors. Until then, I will keep winnowing what I own till what you see on the surface is what you get. I hope.

[Lydia]

I. am. so. sick. of. my. stuff.
It's been a huge problem in my life since the death of my mother in 2000, when I inherited half of her furniture and ALL of the rest of her stuff. I've given furniture to the Humane Society Thrift Store, and trunk after trunk of boxes of stuff to Goodwill. We rented one of those large bins from our garbage company some years ago and filled it to the brim (a lot of that was stuff from the garage and scraps of stuff from small house remodeling projects). I continue to clear.
A few years ago I came upon a woman's blog that was about clearing something each day, and I've tried to do that.

Over a year ago I also created my second blog, Clutterquake, to help me out in my desperation. (That is the blog where you agreed some months ago for me to repost your post about your relative, the hoarder.) I can say it has helped, but not in the ways I necessarily expected. It's become a space for examining mental clarity, spiritual considerations, and things I find awesome. Perhaps if I spent a bit more time on Clutterquake, writing about my exasperation, I would actually finally clear that upstairs room of all the crap stored there so I can turn it into the combined yoga/project room I envision....

[Lydia]

Returned to thank you for this post. I just linked to it in a new post at Clutterquake addressing my issues with my clutter.

[Liz Ditz]

Stuff. stuffstuffstuff.

I went from 4,000 sqft to about 1,200 18 months ago.

I sold and donated about 3 cubic yards of books. The gardening collection went to two horticultural organizations. The equestrian collection was a donation to a local riding-for-the-disabled annual sale & made them more money than I could have afforded to donate. Some of the hardback novels I sold; others were donated to our local library for resale (again, made more than I could have afforded to donate.)

I gave my children most of the pots & pans, the 3rd & 4th sets of flatware & china.

I've never been a photo album sort of person but I've been slowly filling three with photos that used to hang on the walls. I'd rather use the wall space for current photos.

It's hard to figure out what to do with the 2 & 3 dimensional art that doesn't quite fit in this space. The kids took a few pieces but there are more pieces in boxes in the attic. I suppose you could say I'm dithering on that.

My sister has been paring down her "fancy stuff" (china, silver etc.) by giving them as wedding presents to the next generation of nieces, nephews & cousins.

I did a big, ruthless clothing purge when I downsized. If it didn't fit, OUT! I notice though that the collection has been creeping back up....

Whatever you do, don't pay to most of move your gardening containers. I'd make an exception for something that is one-of-a-kind. They're heavy & fragile. The plants themselves? Not sure.

Welcome back to the West Coast.

[Paula]

I have had three major de-clutterings in the last decade:

1) Two cross-country moves
2) Clearing out my parents' house in distant state after their deaths.
3) Helping downsize a large, messy-to-hoarder-level office for an unexpected move to smaller quarters.

So, that's my decluttering cred, and here is what I learned. Look in each space of your life NOT for what to discard, but what to keep because you use, need, or love it in your real everyday life as you'd want that life to be. If your house was burning down with a very slow fire that would take maybe two days to consume all your possessions, what would you be sure to save without a second's reflection?

That's what to keep.

The tsunami of stuff many of us face contains much that is neither beautiful or useful. It's only important because that it's (now) IN our way. That gray zone of "might-come-in-handy" is where many declutters' good intentions go to die. If it "might be useful someday" ask yourself, "Have I actually used it in my real life in the last 2 years?" Set time and space limits--no rental storage lockers, for example, except for short term emergencies.

That's what to get rid of.

The go-to guide for expert and sympathetic decluttering, in my experience, is Peter Walsh's "It's All Too Much," a terrific book that gave me much, much help.

[Cara]

Material stuff...is just, well, stuff. I've gotten rid of a ton of "stuff" since my husband passed away 4 years ago. And continue to sort and discard every spring, ruthlessly. Only prized family heirlooms are kept, which I know family wants; everything else is subject to being tossed.

The only dread I have about nursing homes, (not assisted living which I don't fear at all, might be nice not to have to all the housework/upkeep) is not being able to have a pet. Not sure life could be worthwhile without a dog or cat. Seriously.

[doctafill]

In 1996, I lived in a 10 by 12 room in Bangkok, furnished with a bed, dresser. I bought a tiny fridge, plastic stools, sheets, blankets, towels and table, plus a rice cooker. Lived like this for 9 months, missed NOTHING about my comfy bungalow in Montreal. Nothing except my clothes washer. In Bangkok heat and pollution, clothes get dirty fast. I washed my clothes in a plastic basin, using my feet. At home, I hate clutter. Rooted out and painted inside the whole house the year I retired. Gave all excess stuff to the VON. I learned in SEAsia, what little I needed in life. Simple living is the way I want to go, so if I end up a widow, I already know which items will go with me...and the living will be small, de-cluttered and close to everything I need. Clutter makes me nervous. Even on trips, I give half my clothes away before coming home. If I don't need it or use it, adios. Let someone else have it.

[joni]

There are a few family antiques I display or use, such as Great-Grandma's kitchen clock, Grandma's washstand, and Mom's cedar chest. They are precious to me. Also kept MIL's beautiful dishes, but don't use them. But lately have given away much stuff, including a set of etched crystal to my kids. We live more simply now.

Started donating books years ago. A relative won't give away any of his, so I suspect they'll end up in a landfill someday--sad. Libraries around here sell books and raise money that way.

Last year I cleaned out the kitchen cabinets and the upstairs in our old house so my kids won't have to do it, and donated tons of stuff, mostly to Salvation Army thrift store. Dishes, art books and supplies, old LP records, clothes that don't fit or aren't right for me anymore, knicknacks, etc. I don't regret giving away a single thing. It makes me feel freer and lighter not to be burdened by all that stuff.

It's true that more books and clothes keep creeping in, but not in such large quantities, and I keep weeding out things all the time.

I do feel badly for one relative who's moved to a nursing home. Her life has shrunk down to a bed, a chair, a blanket. I hope we all can avoid that much downsizing. Letting go of most of our stuff, though, is liberating.

[Linda]

I am so happy you are relocating to West Coast, as I recall that you have been dissatisfied on the East. Maybe I missed the news along the way...if there is a story that goes with it, perhaps I will read it here?

Oh, liked the thoughts on downsizing too!

[Linda]

I have started taking pictures of some of our unnecessary but meaningful clutter before getting rid of it. Looking at a picture brings back as many fond memories for me as the item itself.

[Cynthia Friedlob]

Oh, boy, you're in my territory with this post! I teach an uncluttering/downsizing class several times a year to help people learn to let go of their stuff and I've written a self-help book that includes stories of my own experiences letting go of many personal possessions, including family antiques.

I'm fond of pro organizer Peter Walsh's approach to making decisions about what to keep and what to let go. First, imagine the life you want to live and imagine how your home would look while living that life. This provides the clarity you need for step two: as you sort through your possessions, ask if each item enhances that vision of how you want to live, or if it hinders it.

Even with clarity about the life we'd like to live, many of us still need to make some hard decisions about our stuff. But the joy of feeling unburdened will make the process worthwhile.

You won't really be downsizing, so that will help, although you don't want to pay to schlep a bunch of unnecessary stuff cross country. The decisions are yours, but I can pretty much guarantee that there's no need to move your gardening pots!

[Diane Sartell]

Ronni - When I think of you, I certainly don't think of your "stuff"! Although I really do like that wall of books that you posted. I think of all the knowledge that you have and the wonderful topics that you bring up for our enjoyment/angst.
We have moved 38 times and our last move was into a mobile home park from a wonderful arts and crafts bungalow. I find that in cleaning out and getting rid of "stuff" you leave your life open for new things to come in. It seems that after awhile all that "stuff" becomes an albatross. We have cleaned up after four "hoarder" parents and that in itself is enough to make one think about what to keep, how to keep it, and what the end result will be for the people who have to deal with it when we are gone. I am very gradually making little packages for each one of our children and putting them in the cedar chest tied with satin ribbons and their names....The rest is history.
Allow your self a few "sins" and give yourself the time to carefully go through the rest and donate/dispose of it. Here's to your knowledge and expertise, Ronni!

[Sheila Halet]

OMG - I haven't a clue how to deal with the stuff...I guess my children will have the honor, just as our parents left us the challenge. Very interesting post, once again, Ronni and friends.

[Joy D]

I'm still dealing with getting rid of stuff. I have so much, and it's overwhelming. I dread going through my mother's house after she dies and having to decide about all that. My brother and sister-in-law are major purgers and will have no problem with it.

[Sunny Schlenger]

As has been said, keep nothing that is not beautiful, useful or makes you smile.If you have too many of those keep only two of every 5. and look for the treasures that be can passed on as part of your legacy. That's the true value of your time!

[Michelle]

I am downsizing after raising four kids as a single mom. What motivates me the most in letting go of much of my stuff is that if I don't do it, they'll have to at some point and then they'll think I was crazy!!

For instance, I had 7 tents in the garage, 5 lanterns (only 2 worked), 11 raincoats, 9 umbrellas, 22 framed pictures (that I had taken) and boxes and boxes of "cool" frames. I still don't know what to do with the pictures or frames. I still think they are wonderful.

I have 2 or 3 pair of jeans in various sizes so if i I gain or lose weight, I'll have something to wear without shopping.

But I'll get there. I have developed a 10 week timeline and today I am supposed to finish weeding out the master closet.

I have hired a professional organizer to help me. He is very very calming and gently steers me back to the task at hand when I do things like google "how to let go of stuff". He just told me I have to stop now. Carlin was great and I know I am not alone.