Mistaken Cultural Expectations of Elders

Lilalia, a gifted artist who blogs at Yum Yum Cafe, sent me a link to a short, Guardian UK video interview with crime writer, P.D. James, a decades-long favorite of mine.

The occasion of the interview was Ms. James's 90th birthday earlier this week on 3 August. It is a smart discussion about some of her books and her primary protagonist, Adam Dalgliesh. When asked if there would be another Dalgliesh story forthcoming, Ms. James replied that their might be but, she added, acknowledging her age, “I hate the idea of dying in the middle of a book.”

The Guardian UK website does not allow embedding of their videos so you'll need to visit the site to see the interview [8:39 minutes]. Here is a screen grab from it.

Unlike childhood when stages of growth can be predicted to the week – sitting up unaided, walking, talking, etc. - old age develops in individuals at dramatically different rates. Some people, depending on genes, lifestyle, health and dumb luck, become decrepit at a relatively young age. Others, like Ms. James, defy cultural stereotypes of 90-year-olds.

Take a good look at Ms. James and watch her on that video. She could easily be taken for what people commonly think of as a 65- or 70-year-old, both physically and cognitively. What is important here is that she is not exceptional, exempt from debilities of extreme age for being an accomplished writer or any other special circumstance. Old age is a great leveler.

Many elders live to the age of Ms. James and beyond as well as she has and there will be more as the elder population increases due to the advances, during that past hundred years, in health care and understanding of it. Nevertheless, Ms. James is not the cultural expectation, which is in need an adjustment.

From time to time on this blog, we discuss and laugh about our decreasing stamina, aches and pains that have no apparent cause, and lament the minor vagaries of getting old such as wrinkles, loose skin, hair loss, weight gain, etc. while being grateful too for the invention of cataract repair and replacement joints. No one reaches their upper decades without some kind of affliction.

Old age, as most of life, is a crapshoot. No matter how well we have cared for our health through the years, on any day we can be struck with debility. But what P.D. James, being more publicly visible than most 90-year-olds, represents is that the majority of people who reach great age remain – within the context of waning strength - capable, productive contributors.

The reason we don't see more of them is that it is generally believed this is not so.

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At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Lyn Burnstine: Where Have They Gone?

Comments

[Celia]

Why are these people so invisible? Bill Moyers who at 76 is still working and one of my favorites. Maya Angelou, writing lecturing, traveling at 82, BB King is 84 and Min Bahadur Sherchan now 78 who reached the summit of Mt. Everest at 76.

These people are such exceptional people, worthy of anyone's interest. Even AARP seems to be following the pulp media and passing these gems by. Frustrating!

[Gaea Yudron]

Ronni, as you point out, our society ignores the fact that most elders live into old age in good health still contributing to family and community on many levels. And yes, AARP has still not really gone after ageism or put its kleig lights on the truth of this.

I've written about or linked to articles on many elder artists in my blog-- including B.B. King, Twyla Tharp, Yoko Ono, Leonard Cohen, and others not as well known but just as creative and venerable.

In a recent blog, Judith Zausner who is part of a creative aging group in Philadelphia posted a good article about some creative octagenarians. They all happen to be famous, but there are plenty of 80 year olds in my town who are vigorous and engaged, and I bet there are in your town, too. Here's the link.
http://agingandcreativity.blogspot.com/

I am reading an exciting book titled Audacious Aging, a collection of essays about aging by 30 people including Bruce Lipton, Jean Houston, Larry Dossey, Gene Cohen and Gloria Steinem. It is fabulous. I emailed the editor and suggested that they send you a copy for possible review.

[Darlene]

I have loved P. D. James books for years and hope that she writes another Dalgliesh mystery. I believe I have seen every PBS adaption of the mysteries featuring Dagleish and when I read her books I visualize him as the wonderful actor who portrays him.

It is heart warming to hear about accomplished elders. Grandma Moses was lauded as being exceptional not too many years ago. Now creative elders are becoming the norm.

[Cara]

There is a 90 year old lady who lives in my neighborhood; I often stop and chat with her when I'm out walking my dogs. She is truly remarkable -- not artistic, but just an age-defying woman.

She always looks nice, wears makeup, keeps her hair done, and is impeccably dressed, no exception! I'd say most people think she is probably 70 at most; she still putters around in the yard, only gave up mowing a couple years ago! And sharp as a tack, as they say here in the South about being mentally alert.

She told me she was widowed in the 50s, raised her one son alone, and has never considered marrying again. A very independent-minded person, fascinating to talk with.

At my age of 58, I can only hope I make it anywhere near her age and stay as alert and independent as she is living alone.

[Ronni Bennett]

Cara...

If you live to 90, you are more likely than not to retain your faculties.

Let me be clear that I'm not advocating for more of what I call "extreme elders" and some others have labeled supergeezers.

Glorifying exceptions who climb Mt. Everest at age 90 is a disservice to us all. Nor is being professionally "creative" (a much overused word) at an old, old age the criteria necessarily although some of those, like P.D. James, B.B. King, etc. do fit.

Your neighbor, who sounds terrific, is exactly what I'm talking about and there are many more of them than anyone imagines.

[Ashleigh Burroughs]

Read this as I prepared to go to lunch with my new friend, Aged Parmesan, who's 90 and wonderful. She's slow on her feet, but the conversation is scintillating so who cares. She's as interesting to me as my 30-something friends and 20-something kids and 50-something peers. She's not an "extreme geezer"... she's just an old lady.... and my friend.
a/b

[ernestine]

Ronni, after reading your post this morning and a comment from Gaea Yudron - I now have a new site to read "Aging and Creativity". Also a new book "Audacious Aging" will soon be in my mailbox.
At 70 plus, I am still doing all I ever did. Just a little slower and maybe not as much.
As long as my health is good - isn't that the way it is suppose to be?

[Gaea Yudron]

I wish I had a friend named Aged Parmesan! And about the word creative in regard to aging, there is now a field called creative aging, and there are a growing number of creative aging centers across the country as well as a National Center for Creative Aging.

Creativity is linked to wellness at any age, and though the word may be overused as is the word love, it is still a very valuable thing to be loved and to love or to be creative, professionally or any other way. We all are innately creative.

[lilalia]

It is wonderful to see a 90-year-old not trying to defy her age, but living it within clear expectations. Even though she is very intellectualy fit, she makes no reference to "feeling younger" than her age. She just says thank you to the brithday wishes and gets on with the interview.

I also like the fact that she doesn't want to die in the middle of a novel because she fears people will try to finish the novel and probabyl botch it. A woman who knows her own worth. How refreshing.

[doctafill]

Great PD James link. I respect her.

[chlost]

Love PD James mysteries, and read Children of God, as well. It is always odd to see an author after reading so many of the books and getting to know the characters they have created. In my view, she is an author first, a 90 year old long after that on the list. I am glad I can hope for another mystery, and maybe even more than one. She is a gift to her readers.

[Nance]

P.D. James' Adam Dalgleish series crowds my iPod and is thoroughly at home on my bookshelves. I read each one once for the who-done-it and, thereafter, for the how-did-she-do-it-so-well. Thanks for the link to see the lady, herself.

[hot cheap jerseys]

I have loved P. D. James books for years and hope that she writes another Dalgliesh mystery. I believe I have seen every PBS adaption of the mysteries featuring Dagleish and when I read her books I visualize him as the wonderful actor who portrays him.

It is heart warming to hear about accomplished elders. Grandma Moses was lauded as being exceptional not too many years ago. Now creative elders are becoming the norm.

[Esther Harriott]

I signed up for the discussion of Butler's Longevity Prescription a few days ago, but I haven't seen my post in the comments. I gave my name and email address and I'm wondering where the comment disappeared to. Here's my second try.

[Ronni Bennett]

Esther...

It helps if you place your comment on the story related to what you are
referencing. This, your second (I don't recall the first), is on a
different story from the one announcing the book club which is here:
http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/2010/08/the-longevity-prescription-of-dr-robert-butler-a-proposal.html

Not to worry. There is no formal signup. Anyone reading Time Goes By
can participate.

Ronni

Ronni
Bennett
Email:
ronni@ronnibennett.com
Phone: 212.242.0184
Skype:
ronni.bennett
Blog: http://www.timegoesby.net/

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Comment:

[murugeson.s@gmail.com]

Hi Ronny,
I am neither creative nor artistic individual Yet I am proud to be a valuable legal consultant to few of my younger friends and very supportive to my disabled and sick prone family members.it is remarkable that I remain a age defying person at 80+age who appear to others 10 years younger even now though ageing symptoms like weakness of sense organs and tooth decay are progressing fast in the past few months and hence the wish for long life in this absurd world is diminishing as believed by philosophers of existentialism. But I retain a desire to live as long as my physical and mental health remain OL