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Tuesday, 03 December 2013

Holiday Gifts for Elders 2013

Supposedly it's hard to find gifts for people like us – old folks - but judging by the length of my past annual posts on this subject along with reader suggestions in comments, it shouldn't be difficult. Ideas runneth over.

Ideas also don't change much year-to-year so I've decided to repeat last year's post. But first I want to incorporate some of the of ideas you, readers, added in 2012:

  • Not just e-readers but books for those who already have the hardware
  • Personal help writing greeting cards for an arthritic friend or relative
  • Sugar-free foods for a diabetic
  • A supply of pet food, treats, kitty litter and/or pick-up bags
  • Gift cards to movies, sports events, theater and/or restaurants
  • Promises for those who don't drive at night to accompany them to those events
  • Home-cooked meals, individually wrapped and ready for the freezer

    All of those are excellent suggestions.

    Here is last year's post slightly updated where necessary.

    One of the truest things about getting old is that we age at dramatically different rates so that sometimes 50- and 60-somethings have conditions and debilities that cause them to need a lot of help while some 80-somethings and older are, for example, caregivers to people much younger.

    That's just to remind us that it is important to consider the physical condition of the people for whom we are finding gifts and doing so can make it easier to choose things they will like and use.

    KEEP IN MIND (repeated from 2011)
    I am always concerned about elders with small, fixed incomes so gifts of practical, everyday items that seem too mundane to be classified as gifts can be more welcome that you might think. They free up money for food, clothing and medical needs.

    How about a basket – a big one – stuffed with a year's supply each of hand soap, bathroom tissue, Kleenex, sink and tub cleaner, batteries in several sizes, paper towels, trash bags, kitchen sponges, half a dozen new dish towels, etc. If there is a cat or two, include a year's supply of kitty litter or for dogs, a similar amount of pickup bags. Anyone on a tight budget resents how much these necessities cost.

    “Stuff” becomes less important as we get older so be careful to find gifts, whether useful or entertaining, that will not complicate anyone's life. This is particularly true of elders who have downsized.

    If you ask what they want, many elders will tell you, “Don't bother with me. I don't need anything.” Although that may be true sometimes, it's no fun. You might have to do some investigating, but there is always something another person will enjoy.

    Before I get into category suggestions, there is one item I want to recommend for people you think will enjoy having it (maybe, like me, for yourself): A poster of An Elders Pledge. It is brand new and I just got mine back from the framer's on Saturday:

    Elders Pledge

    The poster is 12 inches by 36 inches and can be ordered from the Syracuse Cultural Workers website for $15 unframed plus shipping. They also have small, greeting card-size versions.

    GIFTS OF LOVE AND TIME
    Mobility is an issue for many elders. Some have given up driving and some can't walk as easily as they once did. So consider vouchers with the local taxi company.

    Prepare a certificate for a certain number of trips with you doing the driving during the year to the supermarket and other shops your loved one likes. Throw in lunch or dinner when you do it and then help with toting everything into the house and storing it all.

    Tickets to the local movie theater or maybe the local theater group with of course, the taxi vouchers to match. Better, include tickets for yourself and go together.

    How about a promise of three or four dinners cooked at your loved one's home during the year. For people with mobility difficulties, having company on certain evenings is a wonderful event to look forward to especially when someone else is cooking and cleaning up.

    If you are handy around the house, check to see what fixes are needed and commit to getting them done. Often there are little things that cost a fortune to hire a handyman, electrician, plumber, etc. to do so if you have the expertise it is a good thing for your elder.

    Showing up regularly to do the laundry throughout the year can be a big help and it creates an opportunity for a regular visit and chat.

    Getting and decorating a tree can be impossible for some elders. If you know that someone on your list would love to have a tree of his or her own, buy one and spend an evening helping to decorate it – or maybe put up some outdoor lights if that would be welcome.

    Of course, you must help take it all down after the holidays.

    Does someone you love need the lawn cut regularly? That's a good gift for spring and summer along with other gardening help in the season and washing windows after winter is done.

    If someone who loves gardening has downsized and no longer has a yard, consider some indoor gardening – flowers for color or, perhaps, an herb kit for the kitchen. Another reader suggestion from last year is bird seed and replacement bird feeders.

    You get the idea. There are a lot of things in this category.

    TECHNOLOGY GIFTS
    E-readers have become a popular item with people older than 40 or 50 so if your friend or relative doesn't have one, this can be a good idea.

    Certainly throw in a couple of books with it that you know will be enjoyed and do point out the hundreds of free books on most download sites. I think this is a sensational idea for readers who have downsized and don't have the room anymore for bookshelves.

    For other reading, you might consider a high-end magnifying glass. I realize it's low tech, but it is an enormous help with small print that, unlike on computers, cannot be enlarged. I have one next to the bed where I read a lot and another on my desk which frequently gets carried to the kitchen for the small print on food packages.

    And batteries, lots and lots of batteries for all the things we have nowadays that need them.

    PERSONAL
    Last year, a reader suggested a basket of personal items:

    ”How about a basket of favorite skin products, lotions, hand creams, foot creams, sunscreen,” wrote Celia. “Look about when you visit and see what they use, men too, my Dad had the driest skin.”

    Kathi Williams suggested flashlights which is a terrific suggestion for people who live in areas where the power is known to go out. Several flashlights for various rooms is a good idea.

    Carol from CO suggested gift certificates for massages. A great idea; just be sure travel to and from is arranged if necessary.

    See if your friend or relative has a particular kind of clothing that needs renewing – a favorite style of robe, slippers, sweaters, etc.

    For women, a favorite cologne or perfume – an item that may seem too expensive an indulgence on a small income.

    SAFETY AND HOME
    Last year, a reader mentioned night lights. Take a look around next time you visit and see if they may be needed. There are simple ones and playful, fantastical ones that are fun.

    If an elder lives alone, consider a personal medical emergency service. Anyone, no matter how active and vital, can find themselves in need of emergency help with no telephone in reach.

    A purchase of one of these alert gizmos with the service contract paid for each year can be a good peace-of-mind gift. A large number of companies provide this service and you should check them out thoroughly and get recommendations before subscribing.

    Also, installing grab bars in the bathroom is a good safety idea that is likely to be appreciated.

    Last year, a couple of people mentioned a collection of greeting cards for a variety of occasions and don't forget the postage stamps to go with them.

    If you can afford it, you could hire a cleaning service for once a month or if that's too expensive, maybe one big cleaning event for spring.

    DON'T FORGET
    If you are giving practical gifts or home-made certificates for trips to stores or the movies or taxi vouchers, be sure to include a token physical gift, something to unwrap. It doesn't need to cost much: a scented candle, a favorite candy, a pretty scarf, a bottle of wine.

    This list, lengthy as it is, is only a staring point. Now it's time for your suggestions.


    At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Sharon Ostrow: Brief History of What I Am and How I Got Here


    Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post

    Comments

    All are good ideas, but most cost money. How about a card with the promise to visit at least once a month? You can further enhance the visit by bringing your own coffee in a thermos and pastry or other treats to share. This one is most appreciated by lonely elders living alone who do not get out much.

    You could also take an elder for a ride in the country. That is a pleasure missed by many.


    What's the easiest and least awkward kind of laptop/tablet (I hardly even know what that is) for an elder in rehab? Somebody who just wants to check their email but is not good with computers. I really need to know.

    @ Shelley - before you spend your money, find out if that facility has Internet connection or if your elder can have it installed in his/her room. I haven't seen a facility that has wireless internet access throughout the facility, but I have seen ones that have a computer with internet access. Other people are way more knowledgeable about this than I am, but I'd start with this question.

    Among the practical suggestions:

    1. Replacing the batteries in the smoke and the carbon monoxide detectors. (This needs to be done once a year.)

    2. Buying flashlights for every room. Recently, there was a power outage in our neighborhood while I was cooking dinner. I was in the bathroom when it happened, and it's amazing how dark it got.

    I managed to get to the kitchen and feel around for the flashlight I keep on the microwave. I then was able to see to turn off the burner on the stove. We went out to dinner that night, and the next day my husband and I made sure we had a flashlight with working batteries in every room and in our car.

    What a fabulous column this is! Thank you, thank you!

    Oodles of great ideas here!

    Sometimes we say we don't want or need anything because we can't afford to reciprocate.

    All the ideas listed are great!

    You listed a lot of wonderful ideas. I thought I would mention that there are rechargble flashlights that stay plugged into the wall oultlet. If there is an outage there is no worrying about dead batteries. The cost is about $15.00 to $20.00 for the flashlight.
    The other thing I want to bring up is that many outlying communities have public transportation that will pick you up at your door. Perhaps a handful of bus tickets and this information would benefit some. It is much harder to get around in the country and people could be more isolated there if they no longer drive.
    Last but not least, if you own cats or dogs, there are often shot clinics to update their shots and notify you of anything needing medical attention. These are much cheaper than going to the vet. Althougth these primarily exist in the country, they can show up in the city. I hope someone benefits from this information as they are a little less commonly known items.

    Maybe I'll go for the pet foods. My old folks have many pets especially cats.

    Yes, nutritious food for one's self is #1 of course, but cat food is really important. I volunteer at a no-kill cat shelter and we see too many pets surrendered because their elder owners "could no longer care for them". Of course, there could be a variety of reasons, including declining health, but I'd bet that finances are often involved.

    I also donate what I can to a local organization that helps elders keep their pets at home. At almost 77 I can still work P/T and am lucky enough to have a job, but if I'm ever in a situation where my cats or I eat, we both will--even if we end up sharing a can of cat food!

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