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Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Never Again in a Lifetime

Nine years ago (wow – it really has been that long), I posted a story here titled, For the Last Time?

It came about due to TGB reader Clarence who had written about his youthful passion for roller skating. His blog post is gone from the web but I quoted him thusly:

“…something I became proficient at during my twenties and thirties. If only it were possible to go back for just one more evening of dancing on skates with an accomplished partner. Man! That would be something else.”

I had a whole list of my own items that made me sad to know I would probably never do again and thought that if I knew the date of the last occurrence, I could light a candle in memory of it each year.

Recently, however, I have been thinking that the list was only about negative changes – things I felt some regret on leaving behind. But what about a list of things I'm happy - to greater or lesser degrees - to never do again. Such as:

Write a resume

Ask for a raise

Sacrifice comfort for style

Learn how to drive

Lose my virginity

Have an IUD inserted

Feel the need to be best at anything

Keep up with the antics of rock stars, movie stars, etc.

Bother to learn Twitter or Facebook or whatever passing internet trend is next

Be intimidated by jerks who tell me not to wear elastic waists

Give a sit-down dinner party for 12 people

Suffer anyone who annoys me

Finish a book that bores me

Ditto movies and television shows

And so many more

What about you?


At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Arlene Corwin: A Parallel Between Life and Yoga


Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post

Comments

Hellllooooo?

Menstrual periods? Leaving that one behind is worth having a party for every year.

Ronni:

Congratulations on your surgery; that's great good news.

Things I don't want to do again:

Get married. Stay married.

Drive to work in a blizzard, because "people would talk" if I called out.

Take algebra.

Try to please everyone but me.

Hang out with boring people because "people would call me stuck up" if I decided not to.

Learn to play golf.

Read Henry James.

Watch French films.

Eat Brussels Sprouts.

Jog.

Get married.

I could go on, but I think you catch my drift.

Not having to think "will I get lucky" on a first date. (draw your own conclusions).

Sucking up to your 30 year old boss.

Being able to tell old jokes to a whole new generation of people who never heard them.

Having to make summer vacation plans in February.

Facing layoffs.

Facing Mondays, or for that matter, facing anything you find offensive, annoying or just plain boring.


Ronni,
The biggest thing I am happy to leave behind is trying to impress people by being fake. This comes from trying too hard to impress and fit in. I am glad that now I have learned that being me is good enough no matter what anyone else thinks.

I'll think about it. And how is your eye?

Mage...
My eye is fine and I've scheduled the other eye surgery for 3 March.

Oh, and for someone who asked yesterday, cataract surgery has no effect on floaters. Mine are still well and active as ever.

Having to take crap from the boss for 40 years to keep my job. That's the big one.

I don't know which side of the ledger to put living with someone. On the one hand I miss my husband very much, especially simple touching. On the other, I rather enjoy doing whatever I want to, whenever i want to. And I second almost everything on Marc Leavitt's list, with the exception of French films -- I rather like those.

What a great topic to think about today. I share many of the same things you listed. Off the top of my head, I'm also glad I'll never have to take classes in public speaking, that I'll never have to make a mortgage payment again(got mine paid off, and that I will never have to wear high heels again.

Jean...
Funny how we're different. Not wearing high-heeled shoes in on my regrets list. I love them still and wish I could wear them but, alas, they hurt my feet too much.

OT but... Thank you for giving us a list of Elder Blogs.

Tessa~

Thank you for turning a list, of what could be Negative... Into a Positive List!

My feeling, Elder-blogs need more, more, more of such.

There is always something Positive to be found. Why live in Negative thinking, too much, anyway?

And I mean the above, without falling into a sappy "Polly-Anna" kind of blogging mood. Please... Please... Please....

Tessa~

I love this! Can't wait to get home from work & read all the comments! (which is getting CLOSE to being the last time; will retire from education in May 2015)

A big smile came across my face yesterday when, for no reason, I realized that I will never have to go for a job interview ever again. I still have to interview for volunteer positions, but nothing is dependent on getting that or not.

Ditto for so many, and though I've hung onto the last pair of high heels, I really am glad to not wear them daily to work anymore. Makeup. I quit trying to look younger by putting on eyebrows, eyelashes, rouge and lipstick...and just smile at the spots on my skin now.

Wear high heels...or panty hose

Top of my list this morning as we got a freezing rain this am, I don't have to go out and claw the ice off my car and play dodgem with my fellow commuters on slick roads, hooray! No more annual work reviews. Not wearing high heels, although I have a pair I loved and am keeping. I rarely feel the need to shave my legs anymore. I don't worry how I look in a swimsuit either.

Ronni,
So glad your surgery went well.

The last ten years of my working life I was an auditor and had to travel, sometimes three weeks out of the month,all year long; leave on Sunday come home on Friday night if I was lucky enough to catch the last flight out.
I will never again have to listen to someone that should know better tell me in a haughty and often angry tone after I had found an error "that's the way we always do it"! I guess they didn't realize they were telling me they were "always" cheating someone out of money. Of course, being a representative of the auditing firm, I couldn't say that to them but it sure did tie my stomach in knots.
Also,I will never again have to pack a suitcase,see the inside of an airplane, rented car or hotel room unless it is an emergency and it is my choice...

There are definitely things I'm happy to be done with as I age.

** I'm with Lulu and others about no more menstrual periods.

** Also no more IUDs or any other birth control.

** No more giving large dinner parties.

** No more grueling commutes on an interstate highway back and forth to work.

** And no more putting up with certain disrespectful managers at the end of a long grueling commute.


Can't really think of any new specifics to add. It all boils down to a really self-indulgent-sounding "not having to do anything I don't want to do." For someone who spent her shy, unassertive life trying always to please other people, always doing what was expected of me, and always saying "yes" when I wanted to say "no," it's a celebration. And central to it all is living alone. I'll never marry again.

Some of these are going to sound very strange to a lot of other readers but I am profoundly thankful that I never ever again have to:
- wear a bra
- drive a car
- watch TV
- go to a party
- smoke a cigarette
- touch a newspaper (I'm allergic to newsprint)
- bother about Christmas, or
- regret that I'm an introvert.

Phenomenal topic!

Now, I say no to —

Tirades offensive to me

Dogs or small kids with ice cream cones entering my home

Taking a bite of something offered that I know I don't want

Wearing anything I find is unattractive

Listening to repeat complaints from the same person; once or twice was enough. Exceptions made within limits for dear friends.

Staying up later than I want despite others insisting I follow their internal clocks

Buying products or services from people I experience as rude, racist, or unprofessional; this includes shopkeepers, physicians, bank clerks and managers — anyone

Negativity, greed, narcissism, elitism, fanaticism (from religion and diet to exercise methods and politics)

In addition to not having to give dinner parties and suffering menstrual periods I am happy that I:

Never have to give birth again.

Never have to set the alarm and go to work.

Never have to live with my conniving step-sister.

Never have to take any math course.

Never have to please anyone except myself.

Never have to live in snow country again.

And on and on. Guess I am just happy to be old.

I'll never miss any of that stuff that goes with being young and female. I'll never have to depend on someone else for financial support. No worries about a cheating hubby.

Never have to change a diaper again.

Never have to lose sleep with a colicky or teething child.

Never have to attend another school program.

Never have to attend another school graduation.

Never have to see my brothers and sister again.

Never have to prep again for a colostomy.

Never another job interview or sales and marketing meeting. Never have to try to instill work ethics into new employees.

Never have to go to the circus again!

One thing I sure don't miss is getting hit on at the supermarket or the gas station by creepy guys who mistake ordinary politeness for a come-on.

I like all of the above and am retiring on February 28th - at age 70 - no more mean, critical boss micromanaging and underappreciating...I am way over it and love the idea of freedom - finally!

Never have to hear a colleague present his or her personal never ending life drama across a lunch table.

Never have a boss try to put the move on me. (Nice try, loser)

Never be bugged to donate money or buy chocolates at work for a fundraiser.

Never have to attend showers.

Never have to fake interest in long
school meetings.

Never have to get up at the crack of dawn for work.

Never have to help supervise 1200 students after some bonehead pulled the fire alarm.

Never have to attend New Year parties.

Never have to apologize for being a senior.

I've stopped spending time with lots of different people -- I always felt I "needed" to do that. Now I just do what I want -- read a book and/or knit/crochet and walk my dog. Bliss!

Ditto all of these. Isn't retirement grand?

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