Ageism in Healthcare
My Introduction to Chemotherapy

Crabby Old Lady's Silly Complaints

This post is so silly that Crabby Old Lady almost left today's page blank. Her excuse is that it is all she had time for (it's amazing how busy doctors keep you when you have a serious disease) and she implores you not to laugh or make fun when you realize how ephemeral these are.

Two of her complaints involve fashion – one she is sorry to have missed and a second that is fairly serious if you like to dress nicely or, maybe Crabby is alone on this one.

Sparkly Makeup
These days, Crabby indulges only in a little blusher and light lipstick now and then but otherwise goes about her business with a naked face. That wasn't always so.

For most of her adult life, Crabby wore a lot of makeup although few noticed. She had the advantage of many years working with top makeup artists to the stars in television and they taught her a lot of tricks involved with enhancing one's better facial qualities and diminishing others without making the cosmetics obvious.

Crabby always liked playing around with makeup but when she retired and was getting older, it seemed excessive. And then, THEN, she discovered one day in a drug store sparkly blusher, sparkly eye shadow, even sparkly foundation.

Wow. What a great idea. It could be subtle for daytime or blatant for night. But it looked – and still looks – fantastic, but on young women, not old ones like Crabby although she might have some fun with it next Halloween.

This is a rare instance of Crabby Old Lady lamenting that she got too old too soon.

Sleeveless Clothing
What is it with sleeveless clothing? For the past few years, this has been driving Crabby nuts. She sees a shirt or blouse she likes, it works for her, the color is nice and then, second look – NO SLEEVES.

If you're shopping for clothes online, you can scroll for pages and pages without seeing sleeves. Even in winter clothes. Worse are those skimpy sleeves that stop just below the elbow – they look sloppy, unfinished.

Crabby suspects that it is just another way – in addition to overseas manufacturing and flimsy fabric (unless you can afford designer clothes) to make a greater profit. Imagine the amount of fabric no sleeves saves.

Crabby wonders if the clothing manufacturers know how much less clothing Crabby buys these days for lack of sleeves. And can she be alone?

Whatever Happened to Saying “You're Welcome”?
Since when, Crabby wants to know, is the response to “thank you” not “you're welcome”?

It is most obvious on the cable news programs when a host thanks a guest for taking time to be there and the guest says, “Thank you,” instead of “You're welcome.”

It has happened to Crabby Old Lady in “real life” too, although not as universally as on television. For example, on leaving a restaurant, she might thank a maitre d' for a nice meal and he/she almost always says “Thank you for coming.”

Can't anyone take a compliment anymore or just acknowledge a thank you with “you're welcome”?

Crabby is the first person to admit that these three old-lady complaints, especially given the problems in the world, are lighter than helium. But if Crabby has learned nothing else in her life, it is that she is never, ever the only person thinking whatever is on her mind.

So maybe you have some silly complaints too. Let us know below. And please forgive Crabby for this – she just ran out of time and brain power for anything more ambitious.

Comments

Yes! What I dislike above all is someone saying, "No problem" when I have just thanked them. Of course it's not a problem!

We love your upbeat attitude in the midst of everything you are going through . Feel free to complain all you want! Loving it.

I am totally with you about sleeveless tops and dresses. Never wear them. Never buy them. I don't want to see my flabby arms - why should anyone else.

Yes! Hate and will not buy or wear sleeveless tops unless I'm planning to have a jacket or cardigan on all day. The other thing I hate are very short dresses on women over the age of 6. Not a Trump Family Fan, but I do think the one good thing about Melania T is that she may bring in a more flattering hem length.

One fashion trend I'm in love with is the loose, unstructured jacket or cardigan. I'm one of those whose body has more rolls than a bakery on Sunday morning and they are comfortable and cover a multitude of sins.

It drives me nuts to have someone at a bank or wherever ask me how my day is going so far. A simple Hello will do. There must be some companies making a mint on seminars on how people who interact with the public should appear to be interested. I'm often tempted to say, I'm constipated and miserable, just to see what the reaction would be.

I'm with you on the sleeveless stuff Ronni.

As long as people aren't rude, I don't get too excited over how they respond to my "Thank you." My irritation is women's public bathrooms that obviously were NOT designed by women who use them. I am working on a FB post/article about this, but a few examples will include: making more "right height" toilets for various heights and knee problems, toilet paper rolls that work and aren't locked up so paper can be replaced easily, at least one flat surface to set stuff on (and NOT that ridiculous flip down piece that pops back up) and a purse or bag hook on the lower side so you can reach it from the toilet.

Ok here's mine -

The fallacy that every woman over, say, 45, has legs tan enough and/or flawless enough to wear them sans hosiery, even in the dead of winter. Since I do obey the golden rule of "no stockings with sandals" I am mightily challenged to find cute stylish shoes for a special occasion. The open toe glittery sandals are adorable but alas require bare legs! Since I'm retired I have thrown away all my pantyhose but must resort to them for special occasions where some semblance of formality is required. However, finding closed toe shoes that are reasonably stylish is almost impossible.

Am I the only 68-year-old out there who is not interested in bearing my pale spotty legs for all to see? There's a reason they still produce and sell pantyhose ...

Frivolous 1: Never one to fool about with a lot of makeup, I want (in my next life!) to be born with eyebrows that are visible - and nicely shaped, while we're at it. No one else seems to notice when, on rare occasion, I forget to lightly pencil in some brows; but, I feel ridiculous when I arrive home and discover the oversight.

Frivolous 2: I have tops that are 3/4-length (my preferred length) and tops that are sleeveless; but, I never leave the house in a sleeveless top without throwing a "great shirt" or (depending upon the weather) a hoodie over it. If I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt, the sleeves get rolled up nearly to the elbow.

Frivolous 3: I'd like to be free of noticing small nits such as, when the vertical shades are drawn open - but, not all of the way. I can't stand a shade that doesn't give me maximum view.

It is well that you can still think of frivolous complaints, Ronni. You must be doing relatively OK.

I too hate all those sleeveless tops! but I actually look for three-quarter length sleeves because full-length long sleeves always end up being way too long on me, covering half my hand. So I am glad they're available. If I could get long sleeves that fit me, I'd buy them. Of course, clothing shops being clothing shops, the sleeve I want is almost never available in the material, size, color, cut, and neckline I like, so on the rare occasion I do find something good, I snap it up.

My biggest grumpy fashion beef is with trendy colors. These days they seem to be garishly awful, shades I could never wear, and it is almost impossible to find a garment that isn't part of this season's palette. Shopping is hard!

I think when people say, "No problem," it is a modern, casual, understated version of, "Given with good will, I was more than happy to do it for you." Which, when you think about it, is also the message contained in "You're welcome."

And the thanking in return? That's saying, "You did something nice for me, too!" There are times when that is the courteous response.

I quit all makeup when I could not find any that were unglittered. Eyeliner and punctal stenosis in one eye does not work--

I decided the world will have to take me as I go out in the same unmade up way I came in.

Unfortunately, I've probably picked up a number of bad habits in responding to people in recent years...including "No problem".

I have encountered a couple of useful inquiries (for friends/relatives) however...as conversation starters: 1) "What have you been learning recently?" and 2) "What gives you hope?

After going back and forth on the sad state of so many things in the world, I was taken aback (but in a good way) when someone asked me the "hope" question.

OK back to clothes... When I suddenly realized after foot surgery that I could no longer pull pants over my cast, I had to wear dresses or stretchy 3/4 tights with a dress or long top. So cool and comfortable that I turned into a dress person and no longer wear pants very often! Unfortunately it's so hot that sleeveless in summer is a necessity, but I usually carry a light shirt or sweater to throw on when inside with air conditioning. LONGish lovely cotton blend dresses with pockets are awesome!

All of the above & best yet are the tops with shoulders &/or sides cut out! What gives?? Is the "fashion" industry hell-bent on showing more & more bare skin......in females only of course??! LOL Happy to have Crabby back! Dee:):)

Here's my gripe; the top shelves in grocery stores. Some of the goods I buy are only there, even in the produce section. I'm still reasonably tall, 5' 6" (used to be 5'8), but I can barely coax something off the top shelf even when its right on the edge but not always. If it's large or glass I have to find a tall clerk to get it for me as my grip isn't all it used to be.

Ditto with the short sleeves and dress lengths. I replaced panty hose before I retired with thigh-high hose. They have an elastic top that clings and doesn't slide down and they come in many colors so I can keep my pasty legs to myself.

Sleeveless would be fine if my upper arms were fine. They are not. They are flabby and have recently become creppy. As in wrinkled. I just can't bear for people to see my bare arms.

I, too, have been irked by the "no problem" response to "thank you". Where did that come from?
Another thing I've noticed that I find annoying - beginning a sentence with the word "so". Anyone else notice this?

Makeup: I have never worn much makeup as I have an oily complexion (still! at my age!) & break out (still!) when I wear it. I used to wear eye makeup, but now have dry eyes, so I have quit that, too. I figure that people who have to look at me can console themselves that at least I am clean!

Sleeveless tops: Hate them. Cap sleeves: Hate them, too. I wear the ones you don't like that come to my elbows, or 3/4 length, or long sleeves. (Have to hid those batwings somehow.) Also, I have to roll up the long sleeves, as Sylvia mentioned. I live in Florida, & today the high will be 91 degrees, with 83% humidity, and a chance of rain. When I am at home, I wear tank tops, as I am in the air conditioning, so no one will see me. I do put on a decent top when I am expecting company or leaving the house!

You're welcome: I confess that I am guilty of not using "you're welcome" in response to a "thank you." I had heard on NPR the same complaint that you voiced, and I try to be aware, but still am guilty. I will try to do better!

Keep on posting whatever you want to. I so look forward to hearing from you, and I know that others feel the same way. Thank you. (And you know how to respond!)

I have finally become used to--and it took a while--to learn and accept that "No problem" is the Millennial response to Thank You rather than 'you're welcome'. Only took me a couple of years --OK, 3 or 4, to get there.

Since I'm a little tired of the hollow-sounding, "Have a good day," I've tentatively started using, "Have a LUCKY day!" I'm usually rewarded with a big smile and enthusiastic thank-you.

My Silly Gripe: Standing on line in stores and cashier calls out, "Next Guest!" Gee, I think, if I'm your guest, why are you charging me for these items?

Amen to the complaints regarding the plethora of sleeveless garments everywhere. They look bad on flabby, freckled arms. So annoying. I would pay good money for cotton 3/4 " length sleeved, slightly tailored blouses but I have a hard time finding them. Why don't the manufacturers realize this??

Ah, fashions. When my 'mature' figure and age relegated me to the Women's Section of the local stores, life became complicated. Most of those departments are upstairs and in the back. Having reached this inner sanctum, I'm usually so worn out that I don't feel like shopping.

So, on-line has become my friend. There are several stores that appeal to my sense of style. With some experience, I know what sizes work for me. When I find something I like, I get 2 or 3, perhaps in different colors. Then I don't have to do this again for years! Yippee.

I agree with the "you're welcome" crowd. And visualize all across America, folks echoing my response of "you're welcome!" to the radio when it's not said. still, on that one, as long as it's sincere, folks get a pass from me.

As has been said: Not a problem. :)

Sleeveless - I love them but I am still suffering from intense personal summers. I also started lifting light weights when I was in my 40s so I wouldn't have Gramma Tami arms and could wear sleeveless for a long, long time.

My gripe - letting a lady go first. There are some men when you get off an elevator or enter a doorway that are totally oblivious to letting a lady go first. It speaks volumes about a man.

I find I also say "no problem", especially when I feel as if I'm not quite deserving of a thank you. I usually try to say "It is my pleasure"- I feel it is warmer.

All of the above as well as who thought it was a good idea to put spandex in everything? I do not want all my rolls showing. Oh for the days when I could wear almost any kind of shoes, now if they don't hurt my feet they give my back fits.

Excessive greeting annoys me. I don't need to be welcomed to the drug store or hardware store. Fake cheeriness is rampant!

I also prefer "You're welcome".

I must agree with Rosemary. I especially notice it when young people are being interviewed on TV, the younger generation seem to start their answer with "So". Drives me up the wall and I find myself shouting at the TV, "Why do you have start each sentence with "So"? "So, I did this or did that". I don't notice the "oldsters" like us saying that. Guess we're just not "hip"!! Thanks for the opportunity to vent!

You are making an amazing recovery and I love your posts. They brighten my day! So, keep up the good work, continue to improve daily and keep your great sense of humor. I find that as long as I have my sense of humor, I can get through anything :-)

P.S. I'm a cat lover too. Aren't they the best?

Ditto to everybody who hates "No problem." "Not a problem" is worse. Both make me want to scream.

Double ditto to all the sleeveless top complaints. It's not only the flabby upper arms; it's the nice little roll of torso flab above my bra that shows in anything sleeveless. And I'm not even overweight! I bought an almost see-through white linen cardigan to toss over sleeveless summer dresses, which helps. J. Jill, if anybody wants one.

Finally, triple ditto to you, Ronni, for feeling well enough to kvetch about the silly stuff! Yay!

At 74 I've given up some old gripes I can't change like we're all called "guys" which still makes me cringe but I don't have a good retort. I'm still cringing at "like" in the middle of every sentence, even some NPR interviewees. I've stopped bitching which is useless.

My biggest challenge, gripe that gets me swearing, is plastic packaging - the heavy kind that takes strong scissors and effort to not cut whatever is in the packaging. In fact the packaging industry needs to remember the population is aging - directions in small print or even raised print in the same color as the lid or whatever, push here, twist here and flip there become a problematic.

I live in a N.W. college town where dress is casual and there are many good resale shops. I have many beautiful shawls that serve me to dress-up almost anything I wear.

Not spell and grammar checking my own posts is another gripe!

This crabby old lady's latest complaint is seeing so many girls and young women on the street wearing jeans that look as if they just lost a fight with a Bengal tiger and tops that don't cover their bra straps. How can they think those outfits are becoming?!

Agree on glitter and welcome. But love elbow length in summer with a simple bracelet. My pet peeve now is cars that block the side walk from my door to street. This forces this 80 year old, limping woman to walk through wet, snowy, lumpy grass to get in a car or go for a walk. They would never block a driveway!

I quit wearing sleeveless tops years ago when I got self-conscious about my arms. Very annoyed that many of my favorite sources for shirts have gone from a nice short sleeve to something closer to a cap sleeve. And worse, added spandex. A nice shirt shouldn't have spandex. It should drape attractively, not cling. I especially hate sleeveless on all the female reporters on TV, regardless of the season. It looks really stupid in mid-winter.

I don't think I own any skirts anymore. Nor shorts. Nor hose. Hide the legs, comfortably, just like the upper arms, under pants or jeans. (Colorado is very casual.)

Quit makeup years ago due to dry, allergic eyes. And I'm home alone all day anyway. Don't need makeup to go to the grocery store. But I always use a good moisturizer with SPF.

My biggest peeve these days is women wearing yoga pants/tights in public. Most of them don't have the figures for it and many don't even bother to wear a top long enough to cover their butts. IMHO, yoga pants aren't proper pants; they're more like hose, like a little girl's tights or leotards.

I acknowledge a "thank you" according to circumstance. "No problem," "You're welcome," or a reciprocal "Thank YOU."

I dislike hearing someone mindlessly saying "Have a nice day." after they have just ruined mine by making me wait 20 minutes or more on "hold."

Don't get me started on sleeveless dresses. All the fat that used to fill my arms out migrated to my waist. Michelle Obama is the only woman I have seen who looks good in sleeveless tops.

I've noticed more and more that female newscasters/interviewers are wearing sleeveless and low cut. They look as if they are going to a cocktail party. To me, it appears inappropriate and out-of-place. I don't think they need to be all buttoned up with suits but to expose so much skin even in winter is just...well, just odd! I guess they are looking to attract more male viewers who will respond positively to that type of attire.

I hate sleeveless, too. I must have been ten years old (yes, ten) when I first noticed that there's a little pouf of fat right above my elbows. I thought this was a pretty matronly arm look for 5th grade, and I think so now. Thus, sleeveless and short sleeves have not been a part of my life for a LONG time ... like fifty-plus years.

Of course, those years have only added the "wings" and crepe that everyone else has, too. I do see that the recommended "solution" to this problem are many, many YouTube exercise videos recommending much vigorous weightlifting and promising "60 days to sleeveless!" or whatever. I can see the benefits of weightlifting for increased day-to-day physical strength but not to fit into whatever stupid styles the fashion industry has decided we must buy. So, that's not happening.

A few months back, the Washington Post retail columnist mused aloud that we are not apparel shopping, especially not in malls, like we used to do. The general conclusion to this type of think piece is that we're all shopping online, which is partly true. But over 2,000 women wrote back, all with frustration and some with genuine vitriol, about how much they hated the following things about contemporary clothes: Sleeveless, transparent, bad quality, inconsistent sizing, and poor fit, reflecting a single-minded dedication to making women of all ages feel old, vulnerable, and bad about themselves. While this evidence is anecdotal, how could mass style revulsion NOT contribute to the current retail apocalypse? We didn't buy the clothes because we *hated* them.

Curiously, this is not just those of us in the AARP set, either. There is a fashion trend now called "menocore," in which younger (sometimes very young) women wear loose, comfortable and covered up separates, believe it or not. Even the target consumers hate what they are being ordered to wear!

Someone else here mentioned J.Jill, and I want to put in a good word for them as well. It's the only place I've bought clothes in the past few years. They're pricey, yes, but they have good sales and I like to buy things at the end of the season for next year (always optimistic!). There isn't even one "cold shoulder" top in the store (or on the website, where I do most of my shopping). Most of the sleeveless tops are tanks, meant to be worn under the loose and flowing shirts and tops they offer. The clothes are stylish (enough) and comfortable (enough). They seem to be designed to cover what we older women want covered. Oh, and every style comes in petite if that's needed!

As for 3/4 length sleeves, I don't find them very versatile. Too much coverage for summer, not enough for winter. Upstate New York doesn't spend much time in-between the two.

I believe thank you as a response is an import. I think we are the only country that uses you are welcome. The British have always responded to thank you with thank you and I think no problem has been an Australian response for a long time. Many other languages respond with variations on it was nothing or please which do seem to be variations on no problem!
Regards,
Leze

So glad you posted today. You are a remarkable person and we are so lucky to have your inspiration. My gripe besides sleevless, ugly clothes, is the way some people speak today. It is fast, not articulate and every thing ends with a question mark. EX: I am thinking about having lunch now?" or "I have never liked that restaurant? Where did that come from?. I struggle a lot with the double thank you.
"your welcome is the proper answer to Thank you. Enjoyable column and responses. Now I can face the day! Margaret

I don't know if many of you hear this one. At a store checking out The cashier says"Have a good one". This drives me nuts!!! Is this a midwest thing?
I usually say well, you have a nice day.
Clothes: It will cost you hundreds of dollars to buy a quality made outfit that looks good on you if you're over 65. I think Judy Woodruff gets her clothes made for her.

I Just wear Mascara and very little eye shadow.

Nice to hear you complaining about the small stuff. I think it's a good sign.

My son lived for a couple of years in Australia where they often respond with "No worries," which might have led to "No problem" here as their wording gets raised eyebrows or queried looks. A guess, at best.

Add my name to all of the above complaints, though when it gets hot here (NorthernCal), I dress for relief, enduring any frowns and, perhaps again, raised eyebrows. And at my age, only a two-piece bathing suit provides comfort, not appearance one bitty smidgen.

Eye shadow has become a young woman's way to embellish, establish, express or hide herself these days. Some are near works of art. Recently I looked for a matte light blue for the rare times to dress up, and it's not to be found. Sometimes I long for older(over 50?) salespeople, too.

Kathleen, you're onto some good ideas, adding a grab-handle in the stalls would help too.

Before my blood pressure rises, I'll mention the irritating and interfering constant ads or latest toenail debacle by a celebrity that's reported as 'news,' as well as an increase in interruptions as I'm reading an article, which increasingly forces me to scroll around madly, literally, looking for where I was. Gawd, I love paper reading.

Have never worn make-up, a little lotion with sunblock does fine, and polo's and shorts with flip flops at the beach is my usual mode, living the life at Jax. Beach, Fl, retired, and enjoying yoga and meditation today, a little lunch and the hubby cooking, so not a crabby old lady, but do love to see your pet peeves and everyone elses comments. I try not to say no problem, think my kids say it, and don't like sleeveless dresses or tops.
If anything I miss my grandkids, and kids, and love the connection with FB, but let me add that I don't like to TEXT, or be sitting with a friend when their phone, or text takes precedence. (my Mom loves sleeveless so much she makes a new design by cutting the sleeves out for the summer)

One of my greatest irritations is for a male person, young or old, who is welcoming me to a store of other public place to say, in a very smarmy voice, "How can I help you, young lady?" My usual response to this, that often leaves them blank-faced and speechless, is, "Well, for one thing it is quite obvious that I am no longer "young", and the appellation "lady" is still in doubt and open for discussion."

I gave up wearing any makeup when I quit wanting other men to notice me. I might put some on for my husband now and then, but not very often. I don't apply it well and it just accentuates my wrinkles. I think it makes me look worse.

As for clothes, I guess I followed my mother's dictum not to throw any clothing away since it will eventually come back into fashion. Or I was just too lazy to clean out my closets. So I now have a closet-and-a-half of assorted clothing. I mostly wear t-shirts with pockets (loose) and jeans (men's with a boot-cut). No bra. I do have one sports bra, but it's so hard to put on and to take off that I rarely bother.

Some parents never taught their children manners. Or the kids didn't take the lesson.

I can tolerate -- just -- no problem, but no worries strikes my ear wrong. I agree with almost everyone about sleeveless, cap sleeves and spandex. I will admit to wearing stockings with sandals, but only the "sheer toe" ones. Having had two eye surgeries in recent years, I've pretty much given up eye makeup and am down to powder foundation and light lipstick usually. I must say I love the ease and time saving! Perhaps we should start a Society of Crabby Old Ladies!

I will gladly bear up under the "No problem" replies, and the "So" beginnings to sentences, and even sleeveless tops, if only the people who design plastic packaging will stop making it so #%€# hard to get the product out of the package. The worst are unit dose pills where I have to use a sharp pointed knife to pry the tablet out. Arrggghhhh!!!

No one has mentioned The Scarf! Absolutely the old woman's answercto all manner of "wardrobe malfunctions " . Not sure how it goes in other parts of the country, but in NYC , the over 65 crowd - including me - can usually be found in black pants, no matter what the occasion. And the tops, however tailored, are usually of a subdued hue. Boring. Add a scarf and you get the reputation of a fashionista. Mine range from pashminas bought from sidewalk vendors ($5 a pop) to a few gorgeous Italian imports gifted by family, - with every size, shape, and coloration represented. The scarf draws attention from whatever you have on and induces a happy feeling in those who wear it. Give it a try! Ann

Love Crabby Old Lady! Hate sparkly makeup and those response to "thanks" and "thank you" such as "no problem" or "not a problem" or "OK" . But, really, why am I saying "thank you" when I am the paying customer? You (retailer) should be thanking me for shopping at your store.

I still wear makeup. It makes me feel good.

I still wear sleeveless tops & actually look better in them than when I was younger because of the exercise classes I take. Michelle Obama was the trendsetter for sleeveless.

The best thing about today's silly, fun post shows us that you are really getting back to be an all round Ronni.

If you are thinking "silly" you are well on the road to recovery.

Keep it up - we need being silly too!

To add another comment on sleeveless which I already decried.
I prefer long sleeves but they come halfway down my hands also.
I just turn the bottoms in and tack them in place. If the lower part
is narrow enough, I push them up and they turn into three-quarters.

Glad to see Crabby back again!

I can live with "no problem" (sometimes use it myself) and "Have a good day". They've become part of the popular lexicon, it seems. I have a harder time with the cutesy terminology all too often used to address elders, especially women.

Since I'm shorter now, about 5' 1", 3/4 sleeves mean that I won't need to roll them up--a lot--or cut half the length off. I used to like J. Jill's clothes, but they're a bit pricey for my retirement budget, and even the petite sizes are too long/large as I get older and shorter. I think female news analysts and reporters appear less powerful and professional in their tight sleeveless dresses, while their male colleagues are usually attired in businesslike jackets and ties. Sexism, anyone?

Like at least three other commenters, one of my main peeves is clamshell or other impenetrable plastic or heavy cardboard packaging that is IMPOSSIBLE to open. The cat litter we use, and like for its clumping and easier-disposal properties, comes only in heavy boxes that require a super-sharp box cutter to open. Also, while I understand that the drugstore doesn't want that $4.99 eyelash curler stolen, what about the paying customer who would just like to open and use it? And I HATE unit-dose pills, too--what a colossal waste of material, time and effort! Aarrgh is right!

Agree with all of the comments above. I can imagine a market for some new products just from the comments (easy-open packaging, subtle non-sparkly eye makeup which doesn't irritate dry eyes...). I also buy a few items from J Jill when they are on sale. The long-sleeve tunics cover many areas (but read the reviews to see if they run large or small). I also bought some of the stretchy pants (not leggings or yoga pants) that they have (I think they're called "Wearever"). The stretchy pants are for that pet peeve of mine for the last few years-having no butt. Well, I do technically have a butt, but it has shrunk, giving me that pants loose around the bottom older person look. Thus the stretchy pants. There could be a market for pants tailored differently. As for makeup, I never was much into it and have now let it go.

Yes, scarves are so great. And shawls. Love the drapey look - hate the clingy stuff.

I posted this comment yesterday, but I received a message saying that it was timed out, and therefore it was deleted.

Soooooo---(Ha-Ha)---since everyone has let their hair down, I might as well do the same. Here are my pet peeves:

1. I hate when someone is talking and interjects "and all that stuff", or "you know", or "whatever".
2. I hate when someone is talking to me face-to-face and is texting at the same time.
3. I hate sleeveless tops (the flabby stuff has insidiously crept down to below the elbow).
4. I hate being in an examining room of the doctor's office and he tells the nurse that she(meaning me) should take her meds at such a time or that she should come back to see him/her at such a time.---Helloooo!!! I'm a person! I'm not invisible! I understand English!

Thank you, Ronnie and everyone out there for listening to my pet peeves. I listen to all of yours and I have really learned a lot--first thing I read when I go online.

Ronnie, I hope you continue to improve. Why not set a world record for the fastest recovery from major surgery in the West!!!

Be well and keep a stiff upper!
Estelle R.

P.S. To Estelle D. who has posted above, our name is quite outdated, but---it has a beautiful meaning----STAR

Wow, this upper arm stuff is serious business, someone could make a fortune! Now, I've been fighting the cover up thing, I mean it is seriously hot here most summer days. Just today I picked a capped sleeve top, lovely, covers my butt so I can wear capri length tights.......but really? I almost changed twice, seeing my wrinkly arms in the mirror. I keep telling myself to get over it, but will I????
I dreamed I had gold glitter on my eyelids, and will probably buy some, what the heck.
Hate being called "young lady," or when in a group, "guys," oh, and how about "little lady?" To which I replied, "I'm not a little lady, I'm a rather tall WOman!" I have succumbed, living in the south, to being called girl, or gurl, and use it myself. It's kind of fun, as in, "What's that gold stuff on your eyelids, gurl, (stretch out the word, with a rising intonation) have you gone crazy????

Glad you have your sillies back -- good sign. Obviously, this is all so subjective given the climate where we live, our own temperature tolerances and personal preferences. I think short skirt lengths for most women, including myself, look ridiculous with knees showing as most knees are not very attractive. Makeup is fine for someone on camera for TV or in the movies, also stage when I was in plays in amateur productions, or to accentuate my eyes if I was going out at night and artificial light would wash out my face. Beyond that I think it's a cosmetic industry money-maker women have been sold on the idea of needing. They're working on the men now, too, I read, and some men are actually buying the pitch. I darken my eyebrows now and eye underliner, occasionally, but don't care to waste my time or money on more plus all those so-called skin care products beyond basic lotion.

I loved moving west to a more casual life style in dress as the midwest and east coast were much more rigid in their views of what was proper. I recall hot summer midwest Sundays when going out to be properly dressed I had to be dressed to the nines and carry white gloves that were never worn, but had to keep track of them so they didn't get lost. It's improved in years since, but I loved the liberation from girdles, seamed hose, hated panty hose. I really like 3/4 length sleeve open blouse/shirt over a sleeveless top. Sleeveless I've ceased wearing except in that manner. That combination I like as they provide just the right amount of warmth in an inevitably too cool air conditioned room, but not too hot to wear outside for me. In our So Cal climate 3/4 sleeve just right most of the year as doesn't get in the way -- long sleeve would be too warm for me much of the year just as is wool clothing I liked so much in midwest .

I don't get too twisted over most language used by others in those greetings and responses as find it interesting -- often revealing something about themselves, plus I figure they're sometimes trying to come up with something different, even unique. I like it if they're really engaged with me rather than just rotely reciting an automatic response. I do reject in a non-offensive manner some of the well-meaning but ageist terms - if I'm in a good mood.

This may not be frivolous at least it's serious to me. Bras are padded, foam formed and wired. I want something light weight, unlined, unpadded unwired. And because my shoulders don't bend like in the past, it needs a front closure. Everything on the market now is designed to be a "full coverage" torture device. When did breasts become dangerous items needing coverage, constraint and biting wires?

I also have to agree that "no problem" is not appropriate. But it has taken over. Guess it will have to be no problem.

My answers mirror the others so much, I won't even bother to retype it since I somehow erased what I'd written!
But no no sleeves forr me. Have to wear compression hose all the time--so what do I do about this?
After years of only trying to fill in my very sparse (no)brows and putting on a light lipstick, now I stay on youtube looking at videos on how to apply full makeup on to an over 60 face. Isn't that ridiculous? I've ordered matte, un-glittery eye shadows, many brow pencils that still aren't right for my brows, bases that don't match my skin color, powders that are too powdery...lipsticks--ugh--none go with my tooth color.
But I am obsessed with it. Here I am at nearly 68, and now this! My hands shake and I can't even see what I am doing with a 7x magnified mirror! Stupid me. And my hair has gotten so thin, I m seriously considering buying a wig, although I know that everyone with know it is one. I don't even want to go out anymore! It takes me so long to get showered and ready, I'm a wreck by the time we leave.
I wish I could put all this out of my mine, but I'm glad to find a place t see that I'm not alone!
I'm going on to youtube now!

For the last few days I've been pondering all the comments here about self-consciousness, self-criticism, self-judgment about our bodies--it's really sad that we want to hide parts of our aging bodies. This is a huge statement to all younger women that we are ashamed of who we've become. And should they look forward to following suit? Can't we stop denying the reality of loose skin, laugh lines, anti-aging myths, resettling shapes. I've reached this decision: "Here is what my 74yo body looks like." I will be comfortable wearing sleeveless tops, shorts, natural hair, and no makeup in public. Really, who set the dress code? Others' judgment is just a temporary distraction.

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