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Monday, 02 July 2007

The Birds

By Ronni Prior of Rants By Ronni

Have you ever had any dealings with Chimney Sparrows? They are companionable little things, choosing to live in communal chimneys. Most chimneys in this part of the world have screens at the top, to prevent their taking up residence.

We lived in an old house with no screen in the chimney. I had been hearing the birds twittering up there for quite a while, but it was many months before we would need to consider lighting a fire, so I saw no problem with sharing my fireplace with birds.

Who knew!

One evening, SSS (my former husband) and I, arms full of groceries, came home to an astonishing sight. The house was full of birds. There were dead ones on the floor and on the windowsills, and live ones clinging to any and all high places.

SSS immediately became convinced that we had stepped through a reality warp, into an Alfred Hitchcock Twilight Zone. He dealt with it in time-honoured fashion - he went back outside and sat down.

I clambered all over the living room, retrieving birds from the curtain rods, window and door frames, and every niche, nook and cranny where a bird could cling. I carried the first one outside expecting it to fly off in ecstasy, but it clung stubbornly to my fingers and had to be flung into the air.

Twenty-six birds I flung into the air that night, while my husband sat at the picnic table in the yard smoking cigarette after cigarette and wondering when he would wake from his nightmare.

In later times, he was not entirely convinced it had ever happened.

Posted by Ronni Bennett at 02:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post


What I want to say simply is that your story is "for the birds." But, I'm afraid if I leave it at just that, my comment might be misinterpreted.

So, let me say I enjoyed reading this. I can't believe you would be left to cope with the birds, no wonder he's an "ex." Hadn't realized birds would enter a chimney in that manner. Thank heavens I have a screen on mine, but think it's there for other reasons -- to stop any large flaming ash from escaping onto the roof.

Did you ever find out what caused it? Maybe there was a carbon dioxide leak or radiation or something.

Oh my! And I thought I had a problem with one Cactus Wren that invaded my house.

I think I would have served papers on that wimp ex-husband the very next day.

Very funny -- "He dealt with it in time- honored fashion - he went back outside and sat down."

Thank you for your comments. It took about four more years before he reached the exalted status of "Ex."

I think something spooked the birds. Maybe a cat got on the roof or something.

SSS (Son of a Siberian Sasquatch) did not do well in surreal situations, unless he created them...

Did I mention that I was eight months pregnant when that happened? How did I come to leave that part out?


My ex and I had people in for dinner when I went into labor with my second child. My ex was actually trying to get me to "sit down and eat dinner before we go to the hospital." There was a similar incident with the birth of my first child and I find it hard to believe that I concieved again with this idiot!

What a great story. SSS(Simple Sadsack Sissy) should have helped clear out the birds. Once, we had one bird in our house and it was chaos until we caught him, so I know what it was like for you. By the way, my cat slept through the whole thing.
About the insensitivity to your pregnancy, I can also relate.
When I was expecting my 4th child, my husband was fixing his sister's hot water heater and I went into labor. He told me to hold off a while because he couldn't leave these people with no HOT WATER!!!!

SSs's reaction to that pregnancy is a story all its own, which will probably be told at some point! Total insensitivity rolled over into overt hostility. I spoke to several older women about it at the time, and was told that their husbands had been similarly hostile/detached. They called it "second child syndrome."

the posts attributed to "vero" are mine. Sorry about that. I post on another site using that nic, and my computer saves it that way.

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