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Friday, 24 August 2007

When Will I Ever Learn?

By Matty of Running on Empty

Lately I've had a lot of dental appointments. Two years ago I had root canal done. Because I was away with my grandson for more than six months, I was overdue for a check-up, cleaning, etc. One night I actually broke my tooth eating hot chicken wings my son made. An eye tooth! For a week I walked around with my hand over my mouth (which is not a bad thing) as I laugh a lot and didn't want anybody seeing the gap in my mouth.

My dentist has bad breath (he who encourages me to floss and brush), and you don't dare mention that fact to said dentist while he has the drill in your mouth - unless you're seriously into mind-boggling, excruciating pain!

Well, I'm not into pain, so I close my eyes and think nice thoughts and try to breathe through my mouth. I swear his breath is so bad - does he not take his own advice? Does he eat garlic for breakfast? Maybe he has a problem digesting his food and it lies there rotting for days - make that weeks.

Lately they have a new dental hygienist there, a very sweet, friendly young girl. As she prepared to give me an x-ray and clean my teeth, we talked of everything from her studies to her upcoming wedding. She's in love! Sorry, that should be in caps: LOVE!

I felt really comfortable with her. I tend to talk and joke with everyone I meet. She mentioned for someone my age who smoked for many years, that my teeth were in pretty good shape. No, I didn't tell her about chewing tar and picking up globs of gum from the street when I was a kid!

Laughingly, I said, "How do you tell your dentist he has bad breath when he has the drill in your mouth?" She giggled and said, "You don't!"

Then she asked, "Does he have bad breath?"

"Good Lord" I replied, "You would swear he ate road kill for breakfast ten days in a row. I guess it's just like the shoemaker's kids who have no shoes, or the painter who's walls haven't been painted for years, or the hairdresser with the bad hair. When he leans over me I have to try and breathe through my mouth. He doesn't need knock-out drugs; his breath will do it everytime! So I just couldn't tell him he has bad breath!"
"Oh," she said, "if you like, I'll tell him."

"Oh no," I replied, "don't you dare! I'll just suffer in silence!"

"Oh, I don't mind" she said, "after all, he is my dad!!"

Well, shut my mouth! I'm booked for two small fillings soon. I wonder if he'll use Novocaine or should I just bring a rag and a bottle of whiskey?

Did you know the electric chair was invented by a dentist?

Posted by Ronni Bennett at 02:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post


Nobody better to tell the man.

Bring him a bottle of Vinegar.

lol Nothing like putting your foot in your mouth -- sounds like something I would do, Matty! Too funny! I hope she tells him! One would think a dentist would be using mouthwash all day!

As usual, a good funny story!

This was so funny Matty....and so typically real. I had a dentist with horrid bad breath too. I was always amazed that noone ever seemed to mention anything to him about it...someone who works in the faces of so many people. You may have done your dentist....and the rest of his patients a BIG favor.

Oh this is hilarious. I laughed out loud and that's rare. I have a similar story. A new neighbor had just moved in and another young neighbor came to welcome her. The new lady excused herself to go to the kitchen to make coffee. The TV was on and a local business man's commercial came on. As she left the room she said, "Isn't that the worst commercial you ever heard? (it was) The young visitor laughed and said, "That's my Dad."

My aunt had some terrible bad breath and did everything she could to fix it to no avail.

She knew it, and it was a terrible burden for her.

Eventually she was able to over come the gum problem that caused the smell.

Funny story, however!


I worked at a pharmacy for many years and our old saying used to be :

"Remember, bad breath is better than no breath at all"

About dentists in general:

I went to the dentist and as I sat down in the chair I said to him,
" Doctor, I would rather have a baby than get a tooth drilled".

He said," Make up your mind,Madam, so I can adjust my chair."

I have had a problem with low grade, sometimes undiagnosed, sinus infections and drainage, so have taken extra care with my oral hygiene, since I can't always tell when there is a problem. The importance of my doing so really impacted me one day many years ago when, my face close to his, a young boy patient antimatedly reacted telling me about my bad breath. I love kids they're so honest, but then I like and encourage honesty with all ages about all issues.

In addition to everything I usually do, I have since carried flavored mouth drops all the time, which I freely and frequently use. Have never since had an adverse reaction from anyone.

Really is important to know the source of the breath problem -- oral or from digestive issues -- since a different approach might need to be taken for each.

If I were you at your next appointment, I would closely examine the dental chair in which he directs you to sit. Look especially for any signs of electrical wiring! ;-)

Thanks everyone for the delightful comments...and suggestions. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

I loved this story! When he drills your teeth out, you'll still have a foot in your mouth.

This story made me laugh so hard! I want to know about the next appointment! I wouldn't like to be in your shoes, though, foot in the mouth and all! LOL

Thanks for the good laugh....after reading "elders flying" - this was a welcome article...and I can sympathize about your teeth...I can get radio stations on mine...and they are like the stars - "coming out at night"

Matty, what a fabulous story -- thanks for the laugh. The only thing worse than a cranky dentist is a cranky hair cutter.

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