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Monday, 31 December 2007

The Night Before - Two Nights Before

By Demijon of The Demijon Blog

The frenzy came to a screeching halt sometime during the wee hours of December 23rd. Cakes, pies, salads, cookies and vegetables were prepared in advance of the onslaught, and most were stored in, (nay, packed in), our already overstuffed refrigerator. Dusting and vacuuming had taken most of the day and only the loose ends remained.

Tired beyond belief, my first wife took pen in hand to create notes for chores to be done on the ‘morrow. These notes, placed strategically on any and all empty counter space to serve as a reminder of things yet to be completed before our guests arrive. Note: the reminders were for her; but the orders were destined for none other than yours truly:

Empty trash
Clean Bathrooms
Pick up Bear’s toys
Cook Ham
Make Potato Salad
Sort and hang up clothes from the dryer
Don’t nibble on the cookies
Turn on the tree lights
Move your junk off the table
Shower and Shave
And for goodness sakes, PUT YOUR WORK SHOES IN THE CLOSET!

I’m certain that many of you gentle readers will get the impression that we are expecting dignitaries, but this is not the case. Our guests will be none other than our children who are expected to help us celebrate the Christmas holiday.

Forgotten are the facts that our two sons grew up in a mess such as the ones we are now desperately trying to hide. We feel that we must “make a statement” for the daughters-in-law. However, there is no doubt that they have experienced our messes in previous visits or, at least, have been told about them from their spouses.

Searching my massive memory, I am reminded of a popular country music star(?), who grew up in a small town in the south. The local school had booked his show primarily as a fund raiser for their athletic department. Fear that the ticket sales would not be sufficient, the merchants in the surrounding community were being asked to donate enough money to cover his fee.

When Bubba, the owner/operator of the Filling Station was contacted and asked to contribute, his reply was simply: “Hail, NO! If he wants to come home, all well and good. But I’ll be damned if I’ll pay him to return!”

Moral: As my father was fond of saying, “If they can stand, for a little while, what I have to put up with, ALL THE TIME; they’re welcome!”

If one is as old as they feel, I’m beginning to wonder how can I be alive at 150?

Posted by Ronni Bennett at 02:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post

Comments

Very funny. I can identify with your wife's list because I share her desire to have the image of being an efficient, clean housekeeper. I can't tell you the times I have stuffed unopened mail, magazines, etc. in any spare cubbyhole when unexpected guests were due to arrive. (Usually requiring a lengthy search later to find a missing item.) And I do clean for a visit from my children as if the Queen of England were arriving. Foolish me!

And without lists, I wouldn't remember anything anymore.

I agree that it's crazy how crazily I clean the house when my kids come to stay. When they lived with us I would threaten them with "Don't make me come downstairs! I know what I see will make me mad!" And now I worry that the corners on the sheets won't be tucked in properly!

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