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Tuesday, 08 February 2011


By Ralph Lymburner

I’ve had it!!! I’ve had enough of these little slights my entire life. Call them unimportant and minor, but discrimination is wrong no matter what coat it is wearing.

Discrimination in this the 21st century rears its ugly head in a variety of ways. Some of it is very blatant and some low key and insidious.

Most adults our age have witnessed or maybe even participated in the uprising against these evils. I can visualize the newspaper pictures and news reels as most of us can. Martin Luther King marching along with hundreds of people. Pictures were shown of police with bats, beating the protesters. Gloria Steinem led the way for the equality of women during the 1960s and 70s.

I finally had enough when at a banquet a few weeks ago, I drew snickers and sneers from my friends. You ask how I am discriminated against. Well try putting butter on your bread using a tool designed to be used only by a right handed person.

A butter knife is a simple instrument, but try using this in your left hand. Everything is either backwards or upside down. I ended up with the butter on my suit and one of my comrades asked if I would like to have them butter my bread. VSGF (very special girl friend) just looked at me with pity in her eyes.

That’s correct. I suffer the humiliation of constantly being left-handed. I am part of an unnoticed but put upon minority. There is no charity or telethon for us misfits. I’d give my kingdom for a left-handed can opener.

Scissors can be purchased at Wal-Mart for $5.00. They fit nicely onto the right hand. With a single hole on the top for the thumb an a smooth larger whole for two fingers. A lefthander must turn them over and the holes are reversed. Yes, they make left handed scissors, but on the internet they are found costing $11.95 plus shipping.

This is blatantly wrong and needs to be corrected.

Our cars are made for right handed people. A toilet is always right-handed, if you are sitting on it.

As a kid I soon learned that my handicap would forever be a problem to deal with. In school everything was right handed including the desk. I was forced to sit on the edge of the seat and twist to use any part of the desktop.

I would like to thank the teacher (Miss Witch) in penmanship class for attempting to help me cure my affliction. In her own way she tried to teach me the error of my ways. She would sneak up and smack me on the left hand, with what seemed to be a two-by-four, so I could not use it.

The ultimate insult comes when I partake of my hobby. I am an avid tournament bridge player.

Every one must hold the cards in the right hand and fan them with the left in order to tell what the number and suit are.

Try this for yourself to see the indignities a left hander must go through. Hold the cards in your left hand and fan them with the right hand. There are no markings for you to determine what card you hold. There are thirteen blank ones.

The only solace I have is the fact that a lot of famous people have been lefthanders. Babe Ruth, Oprah Winfrey, Clint Eastwood, Benjamin Franklin, Barack Obama to name a few.

So, I guess it must be clear to all that lefties are great thinkers, artists, athletes and that is no left-handed compliment. We are the leftovers which makes all the more delicious.

[INVITATION: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. They can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir, etc. Instructions for submitting are here.]

Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post


Ralph - Most entertaining and enlightening!

I never considered left handedness to be a discriminative condition. My idol as a kid was Ted Williams. I've always thought him to have been left handed, because that was the way he batted. But, as I think back, in the field he threw with his right hand. So who knows? It's all so confusing! - Sandy

Thanks for pointing out a problem that most of us are unaware of.

I do think that the president being a 'lefty' should make the manufacturers aware of the fact that there's a whole new market to cater to.

Clever. I'll send this to my lefty grandson.

Good story, nicely told. Sandy, baseball is one of the few places being a lefty is an advantage. Most pitchers are righties, and it's easier for a lefty to hit their offerings. My Dad was a fan, and trained me to swing lefty, although I'm a natural righty. It sure worked for Ted Williams, but, unfortunately, not quite so well for me.

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