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Wednesday, 04 May 2011

My Ma Ma's Cousin Wanda

By Dani Ferguson of The Cataract Club

All my life I have enjoyed hearing stories about my mother's cousin, Wanda. They were first cousins and Wanda's father and my grandmother were brother and sister.

Mom's Uncle Chester married Aunt Pearl and together they raised five girls, Doris, Nancy, Cordillia (Cordy), Mary Lou, and Wanda. I can't imagine what their house was like or how my uncle survived all the hormonal swings in the family but according to my mother, their house was never dull.

Cousin Wanda passed away a few days ago at the age of 85. She had a wonderful life and was the life of any party. She will be missed but never forgotten because of the tales of her antics which live on with her family and friends.

As a kid, I recognized that cousin Wanda was ditzy even for a blonde. My favorite adventure with Wanda was the time she and my mother, with me in tow, went to town to purchase a pair of shoes.

It wasn't a far walk to town so cousin Wanda, Mom and I headed on foot to the nearest shoe store. The two women were chatting away and I wasn't far behind when Wanda let out squeal as she spied a small dog lying in the road.

She ran immediately to it and picked it up. Cradling the dog in her arms, she brought it back to the curb where my mother and I were waiting. Wanda had recognized the dog immediately as her neighbor's small rat terrier, Moochie.

Without a second thought, Wanda put the little dog in her shopping bag to take home to her neighbor.

Now Wanda figured that delaying the bad news for a little while wouldn't hurt anyone, least of all Moochie's owner, so she decided to finish her shopping before heading home to tell her friend about the demise of her dog. So with no further fanfare we continued on our journey, Wanda, Mom and myself with Moochie along for the ride.

Soon we were walking through the front door of the department store and it appeared that I was the only one thinking about the dead dog in the shopping bag.

Mama and Wanda had succumbed to the lure of sale tags and bargain prices and were blissfully engrossed in trying on shoes as Wanda's shopping bag sat on the floor next to her purse. Even I forgot about Moochie when I spotted the adorable looking pair of black patent Mary Jane shoes I had always wanted.

Pretty soon we had all our purchases and headed to the checkout counter. Mother paid for our shoes and they were placed in a store bag. Then Wanda's shoes were rung up on the register. Just as the checkout girl asked Wanda if she would like her purchase in a bag Wanda put her own shopping bag up on the counter.

Without a moments hesitation, she reached in and pulled out a stiff Moochie laying him on the counter with all fours pointing skyward. Then she picked up the shoebox and placed it at the bottom of the bag while the young woman looked on in horror.

No explanation was given as Cousin Wanda thanked the clerk and headed for the door with Moochie back in the bag resting on top of Wanda’s fabulous new red shoes.

[INVITATION: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. They can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir, etc. Instructions for submitting are here.]

Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post


What an absolute hoot!

Dani - What a character!

Tell us more! - Sandy

Love the antics our aunts do. Keep writing your funny stories.

Love Aunt Wanda.Every family needs an interesting character I think. It just makes life more fun and reminds us that everything shouldn't be taken so seriously. Thanks for sharing.

That beats every "aunt" story I have ever read or heard...can't wait to hear more...thank you..

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