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Friday, 10 February 2012

Bare Bottomed Betty

By Dani Ferguson Phillips of The Cataract Club

I have lived in the same house and neighborhood for 42 years. When my children were young, other young families surrounded us and it was a great neighborhood in which to belong. There were several families who had resided on the block since the first house was sold in the subdivision and then there were families new to the block.

In the summer time, we would usually gather in someone’s front yard in the evenings, just sitting together having coffee and dessert. Since our houses were all centered in the middle of the block we would leave the windows open to listen for sleeping children.

Most of us were armed with child monitors whose ranges were long enough for us to keep a vigilant ear in case a sleeping child woke up. Something I probably wouldn’t do today but it seemed perfectly safe at the time.

Normally, the husbands were first to gather as we wives finished the supper dishes and prepared the coffee and dessert. One summer, our husbands began gathering in my next door neighbor’s yard every night.

We didn’t pay much attention to this at first but by the fifth night without rotating our location, we started wondering why we were staying in the same yard. We wondered, that is, until the night we noticed the guys slowly inching their lawn chairs toward the east. Pretty soon they were a good yard or two away from the women.

At some point I decided to run to my house next door to check on my sleeping children. As I came back out my front door, I just happened to look up and into the window of my neighbor directly across the street. Betty and her husband were new to the block and hadn’t started joining our evening coffee groups.

What really caught my eye was the fact that the entire house was dark but the living room window was open. You could see through the living room into their kitchen. The refrigerator door was open and the light from the refrigerator was clearly illuminating a naked Betty as she stood gazing at its contents.

There she was - bare bottomed Betty. And there were our husbands - straining their necks to catch the late night floor show.

It seems this was a nightly ritual that had been noticed by our husbands several days earlier but not shared with their wives. It explained the sudden change in venue!

To the disappointment of our husbands, I called Betty the next day and delicately explained her need to close her curtains at night. She and her husband never did join our nightly gathering and in fact they didn’t remain on the block too long. We never did stop referring to her as Bare Bottomed Betty either!

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Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post


Isn't it wonderful how men of all ages want to oogle women? Otherwse how would any of us gotten married.

What a tale you have told. I, too would have to move out of the neighborhood if I knew I had been caught in the buff, by not just the mailman, but an entire audience of persons across the street, not once but several days in a row.

Thanks for bringing back memories of life in a condo
building! Lots of young people sunbathing sans clothes!

I don't have a comment other than to wonder why Nancy hasn't. lol

Well, Herm,now that you mention it, I do have a comment to make. Two, in fact.


Your story was funny and interesting and I enjoyed reading it.


I hope you have that old Valentine card ready for Lonnie. You know, the same one you give her every year.
I know she is looking forward to getting it AGAIN!

Can you imagine what Betty's husband must have thought if he found out? And I'm assuming there was something to look at before she got to the fridge? LOL

My hubby's lament: "how come WE never had neighbors like that!?"

Too funny.

Too funny. Boys will be boys, I guess.


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