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Friday, 17 February 2012

Never Under Estimate the Power of a Good Book

By Dani Ferguson Phillips of The Cataract Club

A long time ago in a far away land when I was young and married, my young police-officer husband worked the night shift and almost every night at the end of his shift he would either stay and talk shop with the other officers or ride around with one of the guys on the next shift.

With my being a fairly new bride, this soon became annoying. One night at shift change, I decided to see if I could entice my husband into coming straight home.

Earlier in the day, I had gone to the bookstore and purchased a book titled The Happy Hooker. Then I found the absolute raunchiest parts in the book I could find. After practicing reading it aloud in my sexiest southern drawl, I called the police station right at shift change and asked to speak to my husband.

When he answered the phone, I began to read to him from The Happy Hooker. With sirens blazing and lights a flashin', he was home in about 90 seconds.

About three days later, it was my husband’s night off and we had only been in bed for the night about an hour when the phone rang. My husband answered the phone and then said, “Yeah, she’s here, just a minute.”

Puzzled over who was calling me at that time of the night, I took the phone and said, “Hello.”

On the other end of the receiver came my own voice with my provocative southern drawl reading – yes, you guessed it, The Happy Hooker followed by loud laughter and perhaps a little heavy breathing in the background.

It seems that all calls to the station were recorded at that time and for three days, the other officers had been enjoying my literary reading.

I think they all went home on time that week as well. The department also experienced a baby boom nine months later.

Just goes to show the power of a good book!

[INVITATION: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. They can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir, etc. PLEASE read instructions for submitting.]

Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post


That is a great testament to the power of books.

How funny! Hooray for you and your inventiveness!

Great Story!!! Beats a nagging wife.
Michigan Grandma in Arizona

Wish I'd learned your lesson earlier and maybe I wouldn't have been divorced.I'll try it however with my present if he starts staying away.Great story.

A clever way to solve a problem.

I remember another bride who had a similar problem and when her husband called her to say he would be working late she responded with, "Can I count on that?" He,too, was home on time.

Dani, What a funny story.

Good for you and thanks for sharing.

Never Underestimate the Power of a smart woman...

Dani - This was great.

As soon as I push the send button for this comment, I think I'll do a Google search for, "The Happy Hooker"! - Sandy

Was that the one that suggested wrapping oneself in Saran wrap and meeting him at the door that way when he got home from work? There are lots of stories of that one blowing up in someone's face, when it wasn't the husband at the door--probably urban legends.

Funny, funny. Can you imagine the department picnics after that? OMG!

Great story! (And I do believe in the power of the book.)

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