Tuesday, 03 September 2013
I Wonder Sometimes
By Sulima Malzin
I wonder sometimes what will happen to my mind.
Will dementia erase the names of my children?
Will I become confounded by pills and hearing aids?
Will I ask the same questions over and over?
I know a woman who fails to remember
she has a daughter, but cannot forget her love of language
and how she taught Modern American Fiction to graduate students.
Seeing her struggle now to grasp a simple noun brings tears.
On good days we stroll in the garden, sometimes humming
or singing old Glenn Miller tunes – String of Pearls,
In The Mood, Pennsylvania Six Five Oh! Oh! Oh!
She picks a daisy, plucks and discards its petals one by one
like a child. He loves me. He loves me…not... he… I hasten
to reassure, He loves you. Grasping my hand, she nods and asks
in a small voice, "Who?" I smile and say her long-dead husband's name.
She nods again. "But who...", and her eyes are pleading now, "Who
is he saying it to?" I put my arm around her shoulders. To you,
Sweetheart, his once and forever bride.
Her face brightens and we move on. She speaks with animation
of their courtship, outdoor wedding and long honeymoon hiking
in the mountains. Then with a wink and a quick elbow to my ribs,
she quips, "Want to hear a little story about our wedding night?"
I wonder sometimes what will happen to my mind.
Or have I already said that?
[INVITATION: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. They can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir, etc. Please read instructions for submitting.]
Posted by Ronni Bennett at 05:30 AM | Permalink | Email this post
Comments
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Oh dear. This is such a poignant piece. Thank you.
Posted by: Mage B | Tuesday, 03 September 2013 at 06:27 AM
What a riveting piece, so well told that I am right there with you. Dementia is a part of my family history and so there is a good chance it is my future. I only hope good people will be there to take care of me.
Posted by: Beth | Tuesday, 03 September 2013 at 07:41 AM
It was a sad day for the Wayne family. A special son had passed away; the first of 11 siblings. I was visiting at their home along with family and friends after the homegoing service. Poppa Wayne and I enjoy sharing life stories, so I took a seat with him.
It had been some time since we visited and he voiced loudly an observation. "Herchel, you've really put on a lot of weight." The crowded room looked our way. After 10 minutes he reiterated quite loudly. "Herchel, you've put on a lot of weight."
The room couldn't help but rock with laughter. I was glad I was there. All things work together for good ... ... .
Half a life ago we had many tomorrows which became todays. Try not to let your wondering turn into worrying. Enjoy the wonder of today.
Posted by: Herm | Tuesday, 03 September 2013 at 09:15 AM
Your story, though sad, showed real emotion. I agree with Herm. Don't let your wondering turn into worrying.
Posted by: Jackie Harrison | Tuesday, 03 September 2013 at 11:35 AM
I visited my friend, suffering from dementia. Out of the mouth of babes, young and old..she leaned into my face and said "My
God, you are so wrinkled!"
I laughed with her.
Posted by: Marcy B. | Tuesday, 03 September 2013 at 04:15 PM
Loved the piece and the responses, with all of us living longer, it is reality we might be joining the ranks of the "forgetful." Enjoy the days, keep making new friends, treasure the old ones too...good to talk about it, beats harping on the creaky joints and the "rotten kids on the lawn."
Posted by: Mary Follett | Wednesday, 04 September 2013 at 08:29 AM