Wednesday, 21 May 2014
When It Hits
By Arlene Corwin
Sometimes it hits ten years later:
So and so is dead.
It didn’t hit
The night
You heard.
It was a phone call. You had guests.
And then, he lived so far away.
Years later – now, for instance,
There are feelings showing up:
Feelings others felt at once
When you, the dunce, felt nothing.
Someone who, at one time close,
No longer close, no longer is.
They call it sadness – and it is.
Not guilt, but weight
Unanswerable, unexplorable.
It passes,
Like the ghost that memory is;
And yet
Implanted somewhere in the synapses,
Relationships have ways of showing,
Starting up against the will.
We have to go through leaves-of-absence;
Make excuses to feel better by;
Any dense or hollow theory
That fits the frame.
[It’s] awful to be struck, knocked, curbed,
Awful to be any violence-verbed
When suddenly
You really know
That someone’s gone forever,
(at least your ‘ever’).
[INVITATION: All elders, 50 and older, are welcome to submit stories for this blog. They can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir, etc. Please read instructions for submitting.]
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Comments
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Powerful, true words.
Posted by: Celia | Wednesday, 21 May 2014 at 08:48 AM
Wow, Arlene. This is such a thoughtful, emotional, powerful story.
"Not guilt, but weight
Unanswerable, unexplorable."
Your use of language is simply outstanding.
Thank you.
Posted by: Madeleine Kolb | Wednesday, 21 May 2014 at 10:37 AM
Thank you so much!
Warmly,
Arlene Corwin
Posted by: arlene corwin | Wednesday, 21 May 2014 at 01:43 PM
Arlene:
You've caught the moment: The survivor's guilt, the lump-in- the-throat, the pain, and the web of excuses we make to ourselves.
Marc
Posted by: marc leavitt | Wednesday, 21 May 2014 at 02:08 PM
This is a great piece. You have captured the feel of this experience, for me anyway, and your writing style lends grace and tension to the flow.
I hope the writing of it accomplished what you might have wanted to feel.
Posted by: steve kemp | Wednesday, 21 May 2014 at 03:33 PM
How true Arlene - you captured exactly that aching sense of loss that catches one unexpectedly - beautiful piece of writing - thank you
Posted by: Jeanette | Wednesday, 21 May 2014 at 06:13 PM
Wonderful words - and so true.
Posted by: Donna | Thursday, 22 May 2014 at 07:45 AM
I'm so flattered. To all you wonderful people who responded and said (so articulately and elegantly what I would have wanted to hear, thank you, thank you.
Write to me anytime at
arlene.corwin@gmail.com
Or look me up on Youtube,
Or even arlene corwin poetry.com
And thank you again - all of you!
Posted by: arlene corwin | Thursday, 22 May 2014 at 01:31 PM
It really hits me hard at times when walk in the cemetery and see the headstones for people who passed on and I wasn't in the area for the funeral. It's tough to deal with never having said goodbye, and when physical distance is there, it's tough to even figure out. Thank you for sharing.
Posted by: Beth | Monday, 26 May 2014 at 09:51 AM
Thank YOU for sharing!
Posted by: arlene corwin | Tuesday, 27 May 2014 at 12:58 PM