Crabby Old Lady does a fair amount of corporate-America bashing here on TGB (though she believes she’s not been unfair), and she hasn’t posted anything in recent memory that isn’t a criticism of someone or something. But not today, so you may want to pay attention - who knows when this will happen again.
Eighteen months ago, Crabby took up cudgels against the manufacturers of cosmetics. Her complaint was that there is nothing at the department, drug and cosmetic specialty stores suitable for an elder woman:
“…Max, Estee, Christian, Elizabeth, Helena, Germaine, Pierre and all the rest who served her so well in her youth have forsaken Crabby in her dotage. Where is the foundation that covers nature's errors but doesn't cake in the lines? Eye shadow in matte colors of brown and gray without sparklies? Blusher and lip gloss that are brighter than Crabby's skin color, but not by much, and certainly not iridescent?
Lo and behold, one cosmetic company has heard Crabby’s lament and answered it as perfectly as if Crabby Old Lady had formulated the new cosmetics herself. Vital Radiance (from Revlon) does everything Crabby wanted and more.
The foundation glides on lightly and smoothes out Crabby’s skin blotchiness. Instead of the pervasive iridescent blue which crowds out anything more subdued at cosmetic counters, eye shadow comes in shades of taupe and tan and champagne-ish without a sparkly to be found. The blusher brightens up her cheeks just enough and not too much. The lipstick, in age-appropriate colors, glides on like silk - and stays there. Best of all, the light mascara, even in black, doesn’t make Crabby look like Betty Boop.
For the past week, Crabby Old Lady has been playing with this new line of cosmetics with as much enthusiasm as when she was a teenager experimenting with makeup for the first time. It’s the best girlie fun she’s had in ages.
An additional step in this system are primers for face, eyelids and lips. They feel as light as air and the tiniest amount is all that’s needed, but it appears to make all the difference in covering Crabby’s blotchiness making the makeup look - well, not like makeup. She tried the foundation, eye shadow and lipstick one day without the primers with less stellar results. God knows what space-age emollients or emulsions are in the primers, but those chemists came up with something that Crabby believes the younger set will soon be clamoring for.
Crabby realizes she sounds like a paid advertisement today, but how often does a mega-corporation come up with a new product that meets all your needs? According to Catherine Fisher in the press office at Revlon, they conducted extensive studies with older women in developing these cosmetics and as she told Crabby what the research subjects said they wanted, Ms. Fisher could have been reading from Crabby’s original blog post word-for-word.
And hallelujah - there are no false promises. The words “antiaging” and “youth” appear nowhere on the products or on the website. There are no insulting claims of erasing wrinkles or of instant rejuvenation.
Crabby might take issue with the models who while age-appropriate are, unlike most women, breathtakingly beautiful with their Katharine Hepburn bones. But she'll let that go. The company’s marketing people are treating elder women like the grownups they are this time, even respecting the needs of aging eyesight by increasing the usually tiny text size on the product containers.
To the company’s additional credit, Vital Radiance is available in local drug chains, priced accordingly. It’s just being rolled out now (Crabby saw part of a television commercial a couple of days ago), and you can get free samples, customized to your skin type and color, by calling 1.800.RADIANT or by ordering through their website.
Crabby doesn’t wear makeup every day anymore and that’s unlikely to change, or not by much. But when business and social events call for more dressiness, she is delighted to at last have cosmetics that suit her elder needs.