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Elders Mellow As They Age

Good Morning, Milt Rebmann

Yesterday, goldenlucy left this important message among the comments on feminism:

“This is Milt’s grand daughter, Amber. I am sure that you are all worried about my grandpa, we are too. Unfortunately, he is not doing so well and has moved in with my Aunt and Uncle. Some days are better then others for him, but he tries to play it down.

“Thank you guys so much for loving and caring for my grandpa and I will make sure to let him know that his friends are thinking of him. I'll stop by again and try to keep you updated (with his blessing of course) on what is going on. Thanks again for thinking of him. ~AMBER”

Lucy, I hope you’ll stop back here and give us the URL where Amber posted this so we can leave messages there for her to deliver to Milt. Alternatively, we can leave them on Milt’s Muse.

Since I first discovered Milt, I’ve admired the courage first revealed in the cutline of his blog:

“Existing with incurable cancer and the depression that inevitably results.... A chronicle of my thoughts, feelings, things I tried, things that worked and, if you look close, things that didn't.... This is a DIY thing, I can't afford a shrink.”

Sometime during my 65 years of life, we switched from a culture of self-reliance to one of dependence on so-called experts. It has become almost a crime – most particularly with children, but for the rest of us too – to let anyone sort out their troubles without “expert” intervention and advice, as though humans have not been living and dying and suffering varieties of pain in the process for millennia without Oprah or Dr. Phil.

Even so, in a society that honestly believed what it preached, no one who wanted a shrink on the final leg of his life journey would go without one. But our society is not like that, so for the past year, Milt has been stuck with his blog and us.

His humor, courage and honesty is an inspiration to me and damn, I’ve been missing Milt’s morning report of the weather in Idaho Falls. I like his just-the-facts-ma’am delivery of his condition too - the daily ups and downs of his psyche due to his medications or just mood, and his coping with it all.

Although we can’t visit him in person, Milt and the rest of us are all a part of inventing this new way of being close and helpful and caring with one another. Even if Milt can’t post to his blog right now, we can keep him informed through Amber of what’s going on with us and be sure he knows he is an important part of our elder blog community.

Comments

I have visited Milt's blog a number of times and was very much inspired by his sharing and his attitude.
While verbalizing (with a therapist) in person does seem to help a lot of people, I've always felt that writing is one of the best forms of therapy.
There's something comforting about letting those words pour forth, see them in black and white and reread them. And more and more, I see how this is accomplished with blogs. It's a powerful means of communication...both for the writer and the reader.
Wishing Milt all the best and sending him good thoughts.

Ronni, thank you so very much for this post. Milt is a very special man. Actually, the letter from
Amber was in response to my request for an update on Milt's condition. Milt's "regulars" were concerned since he hadn't posted for several weeks. Milt's Muse is the only URL I know and I urge folks to visit.
Again, thanks, Ronni.


Thanks Ronni for this post. I have been visiting Milt's page almost daily. I too miss Milt's info about the weather in Idaho Falls and his posts which, I feel, make one better. Such a courageous and intelligent man. I'm running to Milt's Muse to leave a message there

Thanks for bringing to the forefront goldenlucy's report on Milt's condition per him via his granddaughter.

As with many, I have been stopping by regularly, though I don't always comment, hoping for an Idaho Falls weather report, that just might include Milt's "weathering" report.

I can tell you, I unexpectedly experienced much sincere unconditional love, caring and support in this community of the blogosphere which, surprisingly to me, provided a unique comfort unlike any other.

I can only hope Milt has had similar feelings, though the cause for our need for comfort has been different.

Ronni's observations that our society seems to have moved "...from a culture of self-reliance to one of dependence on so-called experts" and yet if we practiced what we preached "no one who wanted a shrink on the final leg of his life journey would go without one," should certainly give us cause to wonder about our priorities.

Just how willing are we as a society to put our money where our mouth is?

I don't know what to think, as Ronni says, "Milt has been stuck with his blog and us." I'm just appreciative that Milt shared some of himself with us. I can only hope that we make a fraction of a difference in his life compared to what he is doing in ours.

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