An Ageism and Blogging Clarification
Humorless Elders?

Even Some Elders Are Boors

[ELDERBLOGGERS BADGE UPDATE: Steve Garfield left a comment on Monday’s post about the new Elderblogger badges. He suggested that anyone of any age should be able to post the “Elderbloggers Rule!” badge. Steve is right - what a good idea - and the badge download page has been amended accordingly. Anyone younger than 50 who has a affinity for elderbloggers is welcome to post the badge.]

Crabby Old Lady knows she should ignore this. As she writes these sentences, she is saying to herself, “Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. You’re gonna be sorry. There will always be boors in the world and some of them are even elders. Let it go. He doesn't deserve the link.”

But n-o-o-o-o-o. “The moving finger having writ moves on…” And on.

Someone calling himself “The Old Rogue” left this comment on Monday’s post:

“Elderblogger? “We're old and we're proud?

“You're joking right?
“No wonder I like younger women.”

Crabby Old Lady knows better, but her finger clicked the link of it own volition – she couldn’t stop it - and she found just what she expected at The Old Rogue’s blog:

“In the last few years I've woken up with a few different women and any that were even close to my age [60] made me want to leave immediately. Face it ladies, most women over 45 are losing the race against age big-time, and you just aren't as attractive as a younger woman.

’”Most of you have bags under your eyes, wrinkly skin, stretch marks, and no matter how much you work out at the gym, you're body pales in comparison to someone in their 20s or 30s. Besides, you probably have attitude and men hate women with attitudes.

[Excised: extensive boasting of how rich he is and how young his bed partners are.]

“So quit the whining ladies and accept the facts. If someone your age has money, he isn't going to be interested in you.”

Crabby Old Lady is still laughing her ass off. She knows The Old Rogue’s type – too well. One of them, a few years ago a blind date, who may have been The Old Rogue himself, was arranged by a “friend”. Over drinks, he tried regaling Crabby with stories of the size of his bank account, his yacht, his villa in the south of France and his – ahem, well, you know.

When he moved on to talking about his previous liaisons with 20-somethings and suggested he was making an exception to his age limit in women due to our mutual friend’s recommendation, Crabby threw the remainder of her drink in his face and left.

For boors like The Old Rogue, inexperienced, young women are their only recourse. No grown-up would spend more 30 seconds with him. Oh, and if we’re getting picky about appearance, Crabby has never met an old rogue who wasn’t wrinkly himself, overtanned and loutish.

[Today at The Elder Storytelling Place Colleen Shannan tells how she and 19 other children in hospital discovered a brand new band in "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Beatles".]


People like that have no idea how truly unattractive they are. If you look at them they think you're admiring them (women of this type are that way too). The reasonable sort know and get it, but he never will.

Ohhhhhhhh my God! I just love men like him -- NOT. I hope some sweet young thing with dollar signs (that he mistakes for stars) in her eyes and a social disease soaks him for every nickel he's got. What's he gonna do when his viagra doesn't work anymore? I direct him to -- he's not ready to play with us grownups.

What Kay said.

What Kay and Ronni P. said.

Loved the mental picture of you throwing your drink at him. Hope it was a big one!

Good for you Ronni. But how come your weren't so weak from laughing that you couldn't pick up the drink?

Funny but I am not surprised. I have heard single women my age say the same thing-- that they only want younger guys as the ones their age don't have the energy, are too set in their ways, aren't as good looking etc etc. People (of either sex) who judge others based on looks or a number get what they deserve which is usually in the end-- loneliness.

What Kay and Ronni P and Rhea said!!

I needed a good laugh this morning. I know a couple of these Peter Pan Romeos. It's amazing how they can see every wrinkle on the face in front of them except when it's in a mirror.

I think this sort of mentality starts early. I'm already hearing guys my age (I'm turning 30 this year) talk about how they prefer girls in their *early* 20s, because women supposedly age faster than men and start to look ugly earlier on. Hey, it's not like I'm friends with these guys.

When that old rogue guy complains about the "attitude [problem]" of older women, he's hitting the nail on another big issue for these sorts of guys. They want women who don't complain, who will do what they ask, and who will essentially accept bad treatment by their men. For many of us, it takes years (and it's probably an ongoing process) to realize that we shouldn't have to put up with that bullshit. Personally, I'd rather be labelled a bitch by these men than be a pushover to them.

Did Crabby seriously throw her drink in that other guy's face? That is so awesome.

Estelle and Gillian...

Yes, although there wasn't much left in the glass, I really threw the drink. I cannot express in words how good it felt to do so, and I laughed all the way home.

Good work, Ronni! I've actually excused myself to ostensibly go to the ladies' and walked out the door instead.

Thanks to all who agreed with me --let's just say I know the type all too well!

Anybody else notice that the guys aren't saying a word? lol

Dear Timegoesby,

The old rogue is really an old dog searching for the next best thing to a leg. I suspect he knows not the meaning of the word relationship.

To him it means the highest amount of sexual gratification with the minimum of financial and intellectual expenditure.

A relationship doesn't have much to do with bum size and skin tautness. It's really a sexual and intellectual partnership. And the rogue and his conquests are most likely at a disadvantage in both departments.

An early 30's non-rogue male.

What Kay, Ronni P, Rhea, Gillian and Mark said!
Guys like "the old rogue" are so clueless.

Clueless, he is indeed! I am so thankful that I have been married for 43 years and have not had to have contact with anyone like him. I can assure you that my drink would be tossed too!

Sex can be very complicated or very simple. The simple minded like it simple. And, yes, if a young -- very young -- girl is sleeping with a rich old fart...she's sleeping with the money. Aren't we finely aged (like great wine) women enjoying the complexities of our existence?

I hate to be the only old guy at the party, and a late arrival at that, but I think "The Old Rogue" should really be called "The Young Troll."

In fact, I have a suspicion as to who he (or they) might be: "The person you're looking for, Inspector, is ...." Now, in classic mysteries, at this point a gunshot or poison dart from an open window behind the draperies would silence me and prolong the story for several more chapters. But actually, my explanation is too long to post here as a comment, so I've made it a post at my own sorely-neglected blog. (Hey, it jump-started me to start blogging again. And, in the interests of full disclosure, I don't actually name names.)

As a single woman who would like to have a fulfilling relationship with a man, it's really disheartening to know (and I knew before I read this post) that many men are after someone much younger than themself. For me this means many 50-60 year olds would think me attractive enough for their egos and most around my age are looking for someone 10 years younger.

Oh the humanity!!!
labeled a "boor" by a bunch of ladies, many probably younger than I.
But the men are silent because they know I'm right. As my married friends say to me"I envy you" but for some reason they are too scared to try it.
Oh wait I know why-because you all got them by the shorts or what we refer to as common property.
But deep down they all want to be with younger women and you know it and hate it.
And as far as being taken for every nickel by younger women-ROTFLMAO they've tried and that gets me even more juiced up. That's why god also created attorneys.
See, I posted a whole comment and didn't apply any labels to you ladies. Thanks for a week's worth of topics.

Yawn. Yes, but can he carry on a conversation that's not about him? Say goodnight, George. Gracie's bored.

I remember knowing my grandmother was very beautiful, she was over 60 at the time and very wrinkled and twinkly-eyed and joyful. I can't understand all the hoopla about plastic boobs and erections that plagues our narrow-minded society. Here's to keeping our eyes open to beautiful identities, male or female, ageless and free-spirited souls! Glad you didn't stand for his nonsense!

This guy was probably a jerk when he was young, too.

I had that same reaction to the pathetic offerings of The Rogue. I hated to even give him a click, but made my first and last brief visit to his blog -- not worth the time. He reminds me of someone I've recently encountered -- pretty sad!

Glad you didn't waste all your drink on that guy, Ronni, but what a hoot!

Well,Wandering Rogue by his own admittance says he could only be faithful to his wife for one year. He's been metaphorically humping to fill a deep void ever since.

Some people fill the void with money, work, shopping, gossip...

In more practical terms, though, our attention just feeds Mr. Troll and any linkage pours credibility and the potential for ad-revenue into his sorry blog

If I might suggest a few ideas? First, there's no reason to link to this dope's blog. Anybody who wants to find it easily can. Second, feel free to delete his self-promoting "comments" just as you would any commenter trying to suck up your blogjuice to promote, er, other dubious commercial products.

Finally, this whole episode reeks of some kind of "edgy" marketing stunt. I'm sure there are people out in the world, both male and female, who love kvelling about how terrible everybody (but them) starts looking as we all get older. I'm betting that there's something slicker behind this "old rogue."

This man doesn't even realize how full of self-loathing he really is. I mean, why would someone with HIS mentality even READ your blog Ronni? What was he doing here? A small, perhaps very small, part of his brain understands only too well.

By the way, I have only known you for a short while, but I absolutely KNEW you would blog about that comment. HA!

My goodness! I have never seen so many comments on a subject before. You really created a firestorm. To "Old Rogue" I say, you are one superficial dude. And, Ronnie, I hope there was an ice cube in that drink you threw at the jerk that ran all the way down to where his mind was.

I like guys like this. I wish there were more of them. They leave more interesting, seasoned, sexy women for me.

What a great laugh! Love the mind-image of you throwing what was left of your drink in this old dog's face.

There are so many dogs out there like him. I confess, a couple of years ago before I was wise enough to give up on dating, I tried a mistake. The old coots are always looking for women 20 years younger - it seemed 99% of the men "my age" (55 at the time) were only interested in women no older than 35 and of course they had to be "athletic" and in perfect shape. The only men who would consider dating some old bag like me were at least 10 years older than me - but of course their prospect woman had to still be "athletic" and in great shape.

What an education... These old dogs are so shallow and so full of themselves.

Well, well... waht a nice display of immaturity, Chauvinism and downright stupidity !
I happen to be a woman under 50... also, I´m considered goodlooking by men and women alike and I don´t think I would EVER consider such a... MAN???? for a date!
When I want to have a meaningful conversation, when I want to read something thought provoking, I usually look for an OLD HAG or an OLD DOG... because you guys have experiences that I haven´t had yet and you´ve seen a world I only have witnessed second handly.
So, please do accept my heart felt thanks for sharing the treasure of your life experience with me, for writing so beautifully and for make me think about ageism and its various manifestations!

He makes me think of the movie, Same Time Next Year. Remember the salesman who divorces his wife and then turns up with the younger woman? In the first season, you see him bragging about being on the Million Dollar Roundtable, and his wife knows it isn't any big thing and isn't impressed. Then, when he brings the younger woman and mentions the MRT, she is ever so impressed, so big eyed, so admiring.

And that tells you what that is all about. Men like this are attracted to younger women because they can't impress mature women for very long at all.

And there are plenty of men who love women of good sense and warm heart and aren't into bragging like a junior high school jock.

he is all about control...probably not his fault raised that way.. hatched that way.society endorsed ego the size of the universe... i just think that we are all on the same life path, but are on different awareness planes...he is on the same plane as an eight year old it is with a sigh and too bad he didn't realize his human potential.. is there time?

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