Can't offer any concrete help I'm afraid, but you might want to look at this web site for similar horror stories and perhaps therefore some guidance on how others have handled them.

http://privatopia.blogspot.com/

Ronni, I could not live under those conditions. As soon as possible make a move. I know this will be a while because of all that is going on in the world.
But start looking and planning. There is no way you can spend your retirement years in these type of conditions. Just reading all that you are experiencing is giving a headache. I am so sorry this is happening.

While normally I loathe the quick rush to "lawyer up", maybe the time has come. Even though it looks like there are little penalties condo-wise, mental anguish and fear for your safety and well being comes to mind as a reasonable start. Can you talk to Tom and maybe go in together to hire someone to start sending legal letters to the parents? After seeing photos of your condo inside, you have carved such a lovely niche for yourself I would hate to see you move. But, again, that might be the only answer.
So, so sorry. These types of things can consume your every waking thought.

I know that sometimes 'names are changed to protect the innocent' ala Jack Webb, but isn't it possible to use the power of public shaming with this jerk? He doesn't sound innocent to me!

I also know, it's a question that only a lawyer can answer. Sigh.

This young man - and his parents - are obviously consideration-challenged and classless. I have in the past, owned rental property which, on occasion was mistakenly rented to individuals who misrepresented themselves. Cops, courts, lawyers, code inspectors - nothing whatsoever worked until a young fellow from one of the recovery programs that I was overseeing at the time who knew of my plight took matters into his own hands and threatened the inconsiderate tenant that he would "kick the sh*t out of him. The tenant became a pussy cat - and a responsible one, at that - overnight. There are some people in the world, unfortunately, who simply cannot and do not think rationally or reasonably, and in order to communicate with them, you apparently have to lower yourself to their levels of functioning. My son-in-law, while a very nice fellow who wouldn't hurt a flea and captures house flies in glasses and sets them gently outside, is a black belt karate instructor - he's 6'4, built like a truck, and I suspect could be very convincing if he were to "have a little chat" with your downstairs neighbor. A nice chat - and one that will get the point across resoundingly. If you don't have anyone similar in your neck of the woods, let me know. Fall is a nice time for a little family drive up to Portland. I have a real dislike of folks who go around making the lives of those around them miserable. (And basically, I'm a very nice person whom you would never suspect of harboring such extreme solutions.)

Ronni,

I read daily although rarely comment - yet this post resonates clearly from past experience.

Three options come to mind... move, rent out your condo and move or start calling the authorities.

Find your local police's local number so that you do not have to utilize the 911 service. Use it for the noise and parking - save/ask for all police reports. Send copies of reports to the condo board with attached note saying that you have made many attempts at resolving these issues with no result.

This takes time - yet, eventually you may be able to make a civil court suit against the condo board. One can expect a reasonable environment and with what you have written - you don't have one. Many attorney's offer a free consultation - I would look into this.

As to moving, that is a decision that would require a lot of thinking - re-thinking and more thinking.

Hope this is of some help.

I am utterly astounded that you've managed to function this long with that going on. Has it ever happened while you've had guests? They should write to the chamber of commerce and say they were considering living there but after visiting you and hearing what you've been subjected to that they think not.
Guns are good but you're probably not licensed. Sigh. (this is a joke - anyone out there thinking this is a working solution!)
Definitely alert the fire dept. They take the smell of fire seriously.
Whatever you do, remember: paper trails are always important. You never know if they can be of use. Record everything you witness, do, or say.

I surely sympathize with you Ronni, having such a horrible downstairs neighbor. My sister and I share a single family home, but next door a young couple and college kids rent the house and all too often have parties and leave bottles and other junk in the street in front of our house, and kids have stolen our Obama for President yard sign several times. We reported all this to the police and a neighborhood watch program here, but we also installed a surveillance camera to watch over our front yard and our Obama yard sign (which we kept replacing). Sure enough at the next party we caught the culprit from next door on video stealing our Obama sign. Since we had already complained to the police, and put a "No Trespassing" sign up, the police responded, the culprit was identified as from next door's party. The police visited our neighbors with stern warnings, and also my sister called the owners and visited the neighbors - and they all apologized. We think things will be a lot better from now on.

You can purchase a PC linked video surveillance camera and software for about $300 at a discount electronics store. We hooked it all up to my spare laptop and it works beautifully. Maybe you could do the same and position the camera from your balcony looking down on the areas where the trash is left after parties and also catch Dick doing other disagreeable stuff. Let them see that you have a surveillance camera. :-) Anyway, it may help. Don't give up; report all disturbances to the local police so there is a record.

With the current economic and housing situation, moving is pretty much out of the question and a very last resort. Try not to let frustration and anger at Dickie-boy consume your days! It is so frustrating when you feel powerless - but you are NOT powerless.

Horrible situation, Ronni. But I won't offer suggestions on how to get back at these poop heads.

No. Rather I will suggest STRONGLY that you do whatever it takes to move back to NY City, where you belong, even if it means contacting your ex, and figuring out how you could possibly share a space without animosity, or find a place in a cheaper, but SAFE area of NY City.

You know you don't belong sandwiched between an arsehole and a peckerhead. Use your creative smarts and find your way home.

Portland is beautiful, but NY City is your home.

Research going home, find your spot, and then sell your Portland condo.

You only live once. The clock is ticking.

I just got back from NY City, and can see exactly what you love about it.

You can do it. My mom's best pal moved from Halifax to Montreal at 88.

Don't let a stupid number stop you.

Getting the law, or seeking revenge will only escalate your unhappiness and bring on more immature retaliations.

Don't go there.

Focus on going home and make it happen.

That's my advice.

Big hug. Now, like the Beatles said"

"get back to where you once belonged."

Having been through a similar situation with an apartment rental some years back, I do understand the misery. His behavior being passive aggressive is scary and it could escalate. If you can move, that's what I suggest because that kind of person is not healthy to live near emotionally and sounds like it could be even physically dangerous. His parents may constantly support him out of fear of him. I wish I could say something concrete here to help but it would scare me to be around that kind of weird behaving person. Passive aggressive behavior is not nothing. It's a shame where you own a condo you like in so many other ways

Wow. I'm in a rush right now to finish preparing brunch for blogger Citizen K and his wife who are coming by.

Later, I'll go over all these comments and explain, but the one thing that is impossible is to rent or move.

Thanks to all who have commented so far. Back to you later this morning or early afternoon...

It sounds awful. I, too, say you can't move in this economy. I would consult a lawyer. I think violation of the bylaws could be something the lawyer could address. Maybe a lawyer's letter to the owners (parents) would scare that self-centered jerk into compliance.

You can park further back in the driveway so that he doesn't have room to pull in behind you.

Call the fire marshall for the fire smell, the health inspector for the dog poo, animal rescue for the treatment of the dog, and call the police every time he blasts you out of bed. If they make his life miserable enough, he may move.

How is Tom involved in solving these problems? Except for the noise problem, which obviously is more of a problem for you than for him, the other offenses are a problem for him, too. Can you join forces to make an effort to deal with Dick?
The suggestion to record with digital camera or video, is a good idea. Good luck. Gladys

As I said before, "Wow." I most appreciate knowing that I'm not nuts, that others think all this is outrageous too.

As I've discussed and complained about it all over these two years with Harry and Louise, I get nothing more than shrugs - verbal or email - and suggestions to talk with Dick.

Dick apologizes and then continues the same behavior, so much so, I don't bother to talk with him anymore.

A couple of days ago, he sent an email around with a photograph of marks on his door from where I had pounded with my keys after 15 minutes because my knuckles were raw and starting to bleed.

notdotdot: A couple of times guests have been startled awake with sudden crashingly loud music, but not often.

As much as it would be heaven for me to move back to NYC, I can't afford it. Even 400-square-foot studios go for more than a million dollars to buy and the same size rents for $2000 or more. Unless I win the lottery, New York is solidly in my past.

And I can't sell here for the time being. Every day more for sale signs go up, nothing is selling and even in the best of times, no buying or selling is done during the long winter months.

Plus, even if I could sell, right now I can't afford the loss I would have to take.

Tom isn't much help. Although he is sympathetic, he is "strongly non-confrontational" (if that's not an oxymoronic phrase) and just wants everyone to get along.

And as to parking further forward in the driveway, I've tried that. Dick just parks behind blocking the sidewalk.

I should have been documenting all this from the beginning, but you know, when things begin to happen, you don't know how far they will go or how many there will be. You try to be reasonable with people and in my case, there was no way to imagine some of the things that eventually happened.

I mean, who could guess someone would allow their dog to pee and crap all winter in the cellar?

Who would guess someone would allow garbage to pile up for nearly two months - and walk past it every day without doing anything?

Who could imagine that someone would start a fire in a basement of a 100-year-old, wood-frame house?

Etc. Etc.

Documentation and researching the laws and contacting the authorities are the only way I can see to go, but I'll have to start from scratch.

I so appreciate your responses. God, I'm exhausted from all this.

Gosh Ronni, this is dreadful....like a Hitchcock movie!! And of course everyone has good rational suggestions, but I gotta' tell ya', I think I agree with Zoe! A big hulk of a guy (whose name is Soprano! kidding, just kidding!) would really do the trick in less time & with less aggravation. I've seen this done once.....it worked well & the other thing I've heard of working is to just have an attorney call or send a certified letter to the owners reminding them of their responsibility based on various law & code violations. The call must be from a real attorney tho', not a wanna' be!. However, the enforcer type just has to look scary......good luck.

BTW, as an aside: Last May when the housing market was so bad, we sold a beautiful home in less than 3 months. I know that it was mostly luck, but we did find someone who not only bought our home, but gave us a decent price so that we made a nice profit, too. The same happened to some neighbors around the same time. I tell you this, because while I really like Zoe's suggestion, I agree with Rain. These are very dangerous people who are toxic to your environment & may be dangerous to your health! Dee

Ronni, I remember your already mentioning this back in 2006 when I was around.
I'm so sorry this has been going on all this time. I thought maybe he had seen the light or grown out of it; but obviously it won't happen. Like kenju, I think you should take photos and bring them to the police.
This is a shame as your flat is absolutely lovely!

P.S.
I've known other parents who were so convinced that their child was such a genius that he didn't need to be civilized. The best revenge would be if for some reason, economic or other, Dick had to move back in with them. And then they would see first hand the results of their having refused to housebreak him.

Continue to document. Call the police each and every time over the noise; call the fire dept and ask them to inspect the premises--let them deal with this guy from there.
Go to the condo board and ask them to change the bylaws or regulations to a stiffer, more strict set of rules re noise, pets and poop, fires, parking etc. Push them hard to make the changes. Then make sure they follow through when the changes are made. If necessary, call the board members when the noise occurs and ask them to handle it! As well as for the other problems--they will soon get tired of your calls and start talking to this character.
Park as far back on the drive as you can; when he blocks you, call the police and ask them to call a tow service and have him ticketed and towed--I'm pretty sure it is illegal to park on a sidewalk. Make him responsible for his actions. I hope this helps!

"Call the fire marshall for the fire smell, the health inspector for the dog poo, animal rescue for the treatment of the dog, and call the police every time he blasts you out of bed. If they make his life miserable enough, he may move."

Good advice Ronni
I am sorry you are having to endure this lout and his no good family.
They probably tremble at the thought of Dick moving back with them.

I just want to add one more suggestion to all of the good ones you've been getting: documenting with photos and videos, getting an attorney to send a letter etc. etc.
Before you call the police when there's a reason to, stop in at the police station and make a personal contact with an individual officer -- ask how you can make a "nuisance" report and discuss your situation. I have found that if you go to them and ask for their "advice," the office who gives you advice will remember you and you can use his/her name if you ever have to call the station during an incident. And, yes, don't call 911. Call the station directly. The same would probably hold true for a visit to the nearest firehouse. Personal contacts tend to help get you the support from these agencies that you want and need and you'll have them on your side in any dispute.

Oh, Crabby, how awful! First, I don't like the "lawyer up" idea either but that wasn't your first resort to solve the problem. It may be time. Look in your condo papers for the term "quiet enjoyment" ...that's a good one...and check the Fair Housing Act as it may apply. That's the rule people have used when tobacco smoke filters into condos from neighboring smokers. If you can, when it's your turn to use the driveway, park your car back far enough so there's no room to get behind it. Or put out a sign that says something like "By agreement of the owners, this is my week. Violators will be towed." Don't know if you can actually do it but the sign alone might work!

Elaine's suggestion is quite sage, as in healing. It's your community, not whosits, if he won't behave. Establishing rapport with your local security is an expedient measure for many reasons.

And may I reiterate what many have said, do take extra good care of yourself, whatever you choose to do.

Hi Ronni,
I don't think you should try to fight this on your own, it would make me sick to my stomach with stress if it were my problem. There is a senior citizen resource center in Portland and I think you should try to find some help through them. And it is also a good idea to talk to the local police so they know what you are going through. The link I found in Portland is
http://maine.gov/portal/family/seniors.html

You need some people who are not involved to back you up here so you don't feel alone dealing with it. You don't want to get into a situation where you do something and he does something worse etc. What you do need is some help from someone with some power so this guy knows you are not on your own against him.
My mother was having problems with my adult brother who is emotionally a teenager. He is involved with some people using him. Long story, but she went and talked to the local police (small town, they know everyone) and it helped immensely when my brother was caught up in some stupid situations with these people. In Maine too, when people know who you are it is just going to be better. So I would get out there and talk to people. Let this guy see people coming to see you and if you can get someone from Senior Citizen Resources to come calling on him it might knock some sense into him without starting a personal war. And I personally know a disaster rescue vet for the State of Maine if you need info on how to deal with that.

You know, I may have come across as some kind of vindictive, low-class harridan back in my original comment, but I've got to tell you that all of these suggestions - videotaping, documenting, retaliating with noise and stinkbombs, going to various and sundry authorities for each different violation, etc., etc., so on and so forth sound pretty exhausting to me, and just going through all of these motions (none of which is guaranteed to work, mind you) represents a full-time job. You'll note that when you are sleep-deprived from upstairs noise, and stressed out from worrying about your house burning down, and nauseated from smelling dog poop 24/7, it's HARD TO MAINTAIN A FULL TIME JOB -along with researching and writing this daily blog, which is another full-time job. And we are no spring chickens, here, with boundless energy to be multi-multi-MULTI-tasking like that. Also, calling in code enforcement people not only inconveniences the downstairs neighbor, but remember - this is a case of joint ownership in a property - whatever violations are found, ALL OF THE OWNERS are responsible for bringing that property into compliance. I've seen these things backfire hugely and cost the complainant, no matter how justified the complaints, thousands of dollars in his/her own money. I STILL say having the appropriate person put the fear of God (and Ronni) into this no-goodnik is what will work. As I mentioned before, while we all try our best to handle things in a civilized manner and through the *proper* channels, if we are dealing with uncivilized morons, we have to meet them where they live - no pun intended. Now, if you don't like having a tough-looking dude *chat* with him, you're just going to have to make yourself seem ominous and threatening, Ronni. Know anything about witchcraft? VooDoo? You could start hanging little bags of herbs and dirt and insect wings and bone (I think chicken bones are okay) on his door and start chanting loudly in your apartment - drumming is good, too - and maybe even make yourself a little poppet doll to stick pins in and leave somewhere visible to him. Odds are if you stick a pin in it's throat, he'll start imagining that his throat hurts, and then you're good to go. Once he thinks you're putting curses and spells on him, he'll start feeling weird, and before you know it, he'll be begging you to remove the spell and set him free - you make his freedom conditional upon his either becoming a model homeowner or moving out altogether. Of course, getting a thug to *talk* to him is quicker and easier, and less effort on your behalf, and that's the truth.

Call Homeland Security.

Tell them you have observed several "foreign" types coming and going from Dick's place all hours of the night.

Park your car just barely into the driveway, so that there is no room for another car.

Print a sign to tape in your back glass of the car to read:

NOT THIS TIME, DICK FORBRAINS

Include Tom in your plans, and though this will be annoying to you as well, place several stereo speakers with a lot of subwoofers and bass right on your floor, use as many as your sound system will allow.

Purchase the soundtrack to the original Star Wars. Wait until all is quiet downstairs and Dick-For-Brains is sleeping.

Turn on the sound system full force for at least a good blast of noise.

Then, quickly hide all evidence in case the cops show up at your place. If Dick-For-Brains complains, act quite innocent and tell him you never heard anything last evening.

He'll insist you were playing Star Wars theme outrageously loud.

Here's where you use your age and noodle: "Come on! Do I look like I would own a Star Wars movie soundtrack CD and play it in the middle of the night?" Be very ludicrous.

Repeat a couple of nights later with Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.

Oh, and for fun, get a broomstick and pound on the floor with three rapid hard taps in various spots around your floors. Like Morse code. In the middle of the night.

Just don't repeat too often so that Dick-For-Brains uses whatever speck of cerebral matter he owns to record his own evidence.

Failing this, I would fall back on another commentor's suggestion to hire Cousin Guido and his band of merry hairy thugs to make a visit to impart some gentlemanly suggestions.

For real, this has got to be beyond maddening.

Ronni,

Two things:

Consult a maine lawyer specializing in Condo law and find out what rights you have, especially if Tom is willing to join you. You may have none, some or alot. I have no idea. A consult of this type should run you no more than $250-400.

Second, sell. The condo market in Portland seems stable and given the prices off the peninsula you should be able to have the sale/purchase be a wash. We purchased a home in the Deering neighborhood of Portland out near the State Armory for under $225K with 4 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths and a quarter of an acre of land. Another house in the same vicinity sold for under $180K.

Use your age. Contact the media, both print and broadcast and interest them in a story of a persecuted elder in Portland. You might have to wait for this winter's dog poop or maybe not.

If there's a chance Dick's folks will get bad media exposure, perhaps things might change.

Hi Sophia. I was the one advising Ronni to get back to where she once belonged.

Your advice is excellent. Why should Ronni waste her time on this immature crap when she has a full retired life to live?

Sure she could fight and push, but what for, when she doesn't even want to be there?

Good energy wasted on 2 boneheads.

Upstairs guy is also a bonehead for not helping Ronni, rather than sitting it out.

Ronni should find her way home.

I believe her condo would sell if priced right.

And if Ronni decides to stay where she is, I'd get a real estate agent to find her a tiny one person HOME with her own driveway and etc.

Ronni, you are the boss of you.

I’m not too keen on retaliation, but thumbs up for the recommendations for you and Tom to team up and report offenses to the police and other enforcement agencies. Document everything with time, day, event and video or tape record instances, if possible. Loud music at 2 a.m.? Report it and hold out the phone for the dispatcher to hear. Consider investing in a hidden security camera for the basement and get the lead run to your computer or a TV to record the antics. Better still; get a security system (including fire alarms for each floor) for the entire building with the cost shared by the homeowners association. Blocked driveway? Call the police and have Junior ticketed or towed for illegal parking. Get legal advice. Stay away from Dickie, Mommy and Daddy; it will only make matters worse. When it starts to cost the parents, maybe they will find sonny boy another place to live. Obviously they don’t want their little genius to live with them! I once had a neighbor who “rescued” feral cats and felt it was her right to let them roam free. Neighboring yards became their poopy palaces, they wiped out most of the squirrel population and any cars parked outside overnight were adorned with kitty footprints and scratched trunks. Open garage doors were invitations to spray. When her pussy population got up to 13 (legal limit is four pets), neighbors started trapping and delivering their bounty to Animal Control. The kitty-collecting neighbor retrieved so many cats so many times (with escalating fines), that her reputation reached the head of Animal Control. She was told that if one more of her cats were brought in(three neighbors bagged four in one day), all her cats would be removed. Two months later neighbor, hubby, two dogs, and fifteen cats moved to another county on enough property for the cats to poop and live in peace. We neighbors now speak of the “Great Cat Wars of ’07” when reminiscing about the good ‘ol days. Moral: You can’t deal with stupid people. Take legal action to make it costly for Dickie and his parents.

I'm in shock that you have continued to be exposed to this toxic environment all this time without some satisfactory resolution -- a living nightmare. I would think the men in the little white jackets would have long ago carted you away. I don't know how you've managed to keep up such a high quality of writing here as you have. (Reminds me of that Michael Keaton movie "Pacific Shores" was the name of it, I think.)

Sounds like your situation may have become a real power struggle for your neighbor with you. I could speculate on all sorts of scenarios, but without knowing more about him, I can only wonder how capable he is of functioning within what most of us consider the normal limits of social behavior.

Frankly, I wonder if he has some sort of personality disorder, or other behavioral deficits his parents choose to excuse or describe to others as being "genius" qualities. His living alone in this condo they bought him may be their answer to not only get him out of the family home, but is an experiment in seeing if he can successfully live independently. Does he work and, if so, what sort of work is he capable of, or is he in college? Where did he go to high school and what can be known about whether or not he might have been in special classes? So many unknowns to decipher his mental state.

Wonder if he regularly lubricates himself excessively, then the carryover effects could account for those times when he simply doesn't care what he does? Wonder if he's on meds of any kind which with alcohol or other substances could make his behavior even worse?

His behavior sure sounds like more than youthful rebellious social adjustment problems, as he clearly demonstrates judgment issues. He has engaged in irrational property/life threatening behaviors that defy common sense with that fire. His actions suggest much more than just emotionally immature behavior. Maybe he's a person who legally should be required to have adult supervision.

All of that means nothing, since the question is what do you do? I would hate to see your life be all-consumed by taking actions centered around him any more than it already is.

The ideal solution would be if he no longer lived there, but doesn't sound as though the odds are too good that could happen. You're in a Catch 22 situation.

You are faced with the hard choices that none of them are what you want. What you may have to do is select the one that is the least noxious. I would strongly urge you to give your personal health the top consideration. Remember, mind, body and spirit are all connected and this constant stress which has clearly become distress is health-threatening. So, my first recommendation is you get out to cut your losses.

You say that is impossible, and I can understand your reasons for not doing so. Perhaps even if you were able to return to your beloved NYC you would have to accept circumstances much less attractive and different from what you had. We make sacrifices sometimes that are not always in our own best interests, even from a health standpoint, hoping if we can just hold on, we can make the future situation change and improve. That's a gamble.

If you stay where you are, follow-up consulting with some of the sources suggested in comments sounds like a good idea. Ideally, I'd say hire an attorney or you'll need to devote your time and energy to thoroughly researching all laws, regs, from your condo by-laws to city, county or other laws to determine exactly what rights you have and don't have.

I think you would want to give serious second thoughts to doing anything directed toward this young man that could be used by him to discredit you including some of the covert, or confrontational actions suggested by others. Could he say your actions were a form of harassing him since already he has brought up the "keys knocking on the door" damage?

Also, as some have mentioned, do be careful you don't damage your capability for being able to sell your Condo, should you try to do so while he lives there.

Remember, your actions might be morally justifiable but legally allowable can be another matter. All too often it is not enough to be right, and justice too often does not prevail for the wronged. Determine your legal rights and limitations so you don't get burned.

Now, all that said I think you should just ..... censored! ..... the creep.

If you really want the "clown" to stop clowning, maybe it's time for Dr. Phil!