How distressing.Yet, as you say, it doesn't due to turn our eyes the other way. Maybe there is someway we can "help". This post is a start. Is there any other way you can think for others to help?

It is ever so difficult to know when abuse is taking place, partly because abused elders are frequently those whose lucidity is, at times, questionable. How an individual would know of abuse, even with checking on ones neighbors as Darlene rightly recommends, is problematic. Perhaps others are better at detective work than I, and can offer suggestions. Good subject for approach, Ronni!

Elder abuse is way underreported and, not unlike other forms of domestic abuse, the victim will often shield the abuser because they are dependent on them. Thanks for tackling this.

The isolation of the elderly seems central to what you describe. Unless we find a way to change the social contract in America, I find myself competely frustrated about solutions.

Coming out of this isolation, sometimes a result of personal choice compounded by aging, is another form of elderly abuse. The financial world, as you know, has many ways to befuddle elders. An example would be mortgage lenders who encourage re-financing. Most of the stories we now hear about loss of homes involve younger people who are able to move on financially.

Living in a NORC (naturally occurring retirement community),
I've come in contact with people who would have been out on the street if not for a retirement service put in place some forty years ago by a community oriented toward social justice.

Guess you'd call that socialism.

So much elder abuse, all of it horrible. Some of it subtle like the nurse that seemed to relish taking the patients false teeth " to be cleaned" so she wouldn't have them during visiting hours. Knowing this made the patient hard to understand and embarrassed her. When I pushed they changed the practice.

Ronni, I, too, am a wimp and lately fall apart when I read or see any type of suffering. I don’t remember being so easily troubled in the past. Elder abuse in nursing homes is rampant. Being an advocate for the elderly for five years in various long-term care facilities opened my eyes as to how the elderly are portrayed and treated (mistreated) in so many ways. It’s very sad and frightening as I know this could happen to me. Although a member of PETA, I do not read or look at the magazines they send periodically. Maybe it’s our age.

Thank you so much for posting on this issue, Ronni.

Many would find this issue and reports of EA 'unpleasant' and chose to 'turn the other way'. I was guilty of all that; before a horrible case prompted me to really look at EA.

Horrified that EA is a global problem and there are so many forms of it, I started a blog to 'expose' as many cases I can get and also to list resources.

Elder abuse by adult children gets very little attention. Most abusers get away 'unscathed' as in the case of Frank Punito.

Thanks again.

It is important to find someone, if people don't have family, to check on the care of the elderly in care facilities. That is where sometimes people are hired at low salaries who will be abusive as part of their own past. If someone has a family member in such a place, checking often and being aware of bruises (although the elderly bruise more easily) and signs of mistreatment is important. I also believe you should not go into a care facility that doesn't allow random visits. A good place will let relatives visit whenever they want and it's a warning if the visiting hours are limited. When we get old, our ability to communicate sometimes is lessened and it does take an advocate to be there and be sure it's okay.

Thank you. I'm off to visit my friend Mary in the hospital tomorrow before she is diconnected. In this case, there was no one to keep an eye on her. This sort of thing happens often with single women now. Every word you write about this at any level will help.

EA is certainly an issue sometimes hard to discern whether perpetrated by family, caregivers, at home or in an institutional setting. I know those with whom I work in rehab are sensitive to the potential and all health care workers are legally required to report those incidents of which we become aware.

I've only had once incident I had to report that was of a sexual nature though there was no actual physical contact. An older patient reported to me inappropriate female staff behavior toward his youthful developmentally delayed roommate who should never have been placed in the facility he was in the first place. That was no excuse for what happened. Another male staff member was present and did nothing. The older patient witnessed the event but was bewildered and didn't know what to do. Fortunately he trusted me and I was able to take immediate action with the administration who in turn acted.

The issues of memory, other cognitive or commuication deficits do complicate trying to establish abusive incidents. I think especially of those who have no personal advocates and are in custodial care.

There can also be all sorts of abusive and/or unwanted sexual behaviors between older adult patients, some a consequence of judgment deficits and personality changes. These can be heartbreaking for families of both involved patients. Staff is supposed to be preventing these behaviors but some patients can be quite elusive to monitor considering staffing issues.

Clearly every patient needs a trustworthy advocate able to check on them regularly so staff becomes critical for those who have no loved ones. Family members and friends are wise to spend time with their loved one as often as possible.

I understand your reaction to the situations you describe. I am most repelled by and avoid any and all stories involving the abuse of, kidnapping or violence toward children/young adults and seems there are more and more such TV episodes and movies, some based on fact, others fictionalized.

Nancy makes a very good point and one I've had occasion to think about as I've observed patients and family member interactions.

I have encountered patients whose adult children have interacted with them in such a utilitarian manner as to suggest a controlled or possible real lack of emotional connection. I jump to no conclusions as to why this is so, but usually privately wonder what the family relationships were earlier in life?

Sometimes family members spontaneously confide that information to me since it is not my business to ask. It does sometimes help me to know the dynamics at work keeping in mind often differing points of view.

In the circumstance you describe it would be understandable if mustering a caring attitude toward an adult who had so betrayed you was an effort. I'm so sorry you and your sister were subjected to such trauma.

The following is not applicable for the situation you describe with your mother, but this thought has come to mind.

Utilitarian type interactive behavior in a different context could have other implications. Under some circumstances it might give rise to questioning that person's genuineness toward others.

I do not agree what so ever with elderly abuse or neglect or animal abuse. I hate hearing about people abusing elderly folks.it's wrong cruel and just so horrible i don't understand how and human could ever do such a thing.

There is no punishment too harsh for people who commit these crimes.