The president has been particularly chatty lately. Last week, he gave the State of the Union Address and sparred with Republicans and then tried the latter with Democratic senators this week. I tuned out during his third public discussion yesterday when he said the current version of the Senate health care reform bill is better than what we started with.
Oh yeah? But I'm too tired of claims, counterclaims, stalemates, centerfold senators, gridlock in Congress and teapartiers to get into it. I think we all need a break.
A few years ago, I reprinted an internet email about retiring to the Hilton. It was fun and funny. I was reminded of it recently when I received a similar email obviously based on the first one, but this may be an even better idea.
No Nursing Home For Me!
At dinner through the Mediterranean aboard a Princess cruise ship, an elderly lady sat alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. The staff, ship's officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very familiar with her. When a waiter was asked who she was, he said he knew only that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.
Wanting to know more, a fellow passenger asked her one evening if this was true. “Yes,” she replied and without a pause added, “It’s cheaper than a nursing home.”
The average cost for a nursing home, she explained, is $200 a day. With a long-term cruise discount and a senior discount, the price of a Princess Cruise is $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
- Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
- I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
- Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
- There are free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
- They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
- I get to meet new people every seven or 14 days.
- TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
- Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don’t even have to ask for them.
- If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
- And here's the best. If I want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia or you name it, Princess will have a ship ready to go.
- And don’t forget: when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
Anyone want to join me at the dock in New York?
And here's an extra laugh:
At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Mary B Summerlin: The Gift