I'm in full agreement with your post with one exception: my biggest gripe is that I've lost the intimate relationship I've had with language over many years. I'm really sad about the loss, but I'll manage.

What's equally troubling is that there seems to be no way to address the message from corporate America that "old is bad." Why don't we get equal time on Oprah & Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil. It's because young sells & no one wants to be reminded that aging is inevitable. But then that's the ultimate irony, isn't it?

I must include my least favorite TV ad. It's the one about using a product to improve your skin (I think) as you age. The woman who looks to be 40ish laments the fact that men don't notice her because of her less than glowing skin. Where is the aging Gloria Steinam, now that we need her? :)Dee

I agree with Dee about losing some of my language skills as I get older. However, the problems tend to be oral. I can't pull up the names, places, or even words I want when I want them. This is why I'm writing more. I find I can locate all the words I'm looking for, given enough time and dictionary.com, as I sit at my computer.

I re-read your opening paragraph and so I was moved to add another comment. Why, oh why do women fall for that hair coloring nonsense? Yes, men do it as well, but not in the numbers I see for women. I don't want to offend, but it looks silly! I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be judgmental about those things that make a person happy, but I fail whenever I see dark black tresses framing the face of an elder.
I'm sure male elders do it as well...or wish they could if they weren't bald. And of course that's another deep subject. Why do men wear wigs? Bad wigs?
Shame on me! Sorry....

I like being my age also and like looking it but looking it well. I have no desire to look younger but I enjoy the different look of old. Sometimes when I see the area above my eyes kind of sagging, I think uh what??? and then I see the overall picture and it works because the whole face is doing it. I am not ready to not look good but I don't equate it with age. Youth doesn't automatically make someone look good when young or old; so why is it a desire. Living it fully means accepting the problems that come with it and if anybody thinks the things you listed were part of late old age, they haven't met many people in late old age. It's got a lot more going wrong with it than teeth or arthritis. Sure there are exceptions to what 100 is like but not many.

Like you, I enjoy being old for a lot of reasons and one is I got here and many I love did not. They would have liked to get here too.

The Y offers a Silver Sneakers exercise program during the day. The regular instructor (about 40ish) for that program filled in last Tuesday evening for the class I attend and of which I am the only senior. I could not believe how many times she made reference about “those seniors” she normally instructs—how they complain about this and complain about that…giggle, giggle, giggle… Well none of you know me well enough to know that when I say if looks could kill, I killed her along with anyone else who happened to chime in. I’m just not quick enough with words. Why would anyone do that with me, obviously one of “those seniors” standing there?

I will be 68 in about two and a half weeks and look every bit my age and it sickens me when people feel the need to pretend otherwise! So sad!

My mom & mother-in-law, both in their 80's, are interesting, lively women. My mother-in-law colors her hair, takes pains with her make-up & dress; my mom's hair is gray, she cuts it herself, & doesn't bother with make-up or uncomfortable clothes. What's the biggest difference I notice? When I'm out with one or both of them, it's the reaction of other people -- they seem to engage my mother-in-law more in conversation, smile at her. My mom -- they ignore.

Marvin...
When I began this blog, I made a conscious decision to use the word "old" at every opportunity and to never, ever use "senior" and other euphemisms. And so it remains and will at TGB.

Claire Jean...
I wish I'd been in that class with you. I would have stopped the instructor in her tracks and immediately notified the Y management of the ageism going on in the class.

annie...
I think the difference in response to your mother and mother-in-law says more about the culture than either of the women.

barbara...
I don't think ageism and other isms are "silly". Ageism pushes people out of the workforce long before they are ready, cutting off income and savings for retirement. Because the culture, the medical establishment often does not treat disease in old people as aggressively as younger people. Because of the culture, old people are marginalized in a hundred ways every day.

Much of it is due to the constant repetition that anything resembling age is bad.

With rare exceptions, most people who read TGB feel as good as I do about being old and I hope, over time, to help others overcome the prejudice they've been subject to and absorbed all their lives.

When I was thirty, I wasn't thinking much about my age but about supporting my family and being successful in my career. The truth is, I didn't have time to think about how old I was until I retired at 65 (10 years ago) now I don't think much about my age unless I'm reading "Time Goes By".

I gotta go and clean up the garage. No more time to think about being 75

I feel like most of you,aging has a freedom that's wonderful, but I'm still culturally vain enough to also agree with you, Estelle, when you say, "I love it when someone doesn't believe my age (if I tell). Maybe it has something to do with the name. Estelle is one of those era specific names, at least in the U.S. I was going to be named Esther after my paternal great-grandmother, but my aunts didn't think it was fancy enough.

The other day, my husband and I were walking down a neighborhood past the hair salon where he gets his hair cut. His stylist was outside, taking a break, and after we exchanged "Hi's", she added (to me) "When are you going to let me start coloring that gray?"

Uh, never.

There are so many things wrong with this, where would we start?

Why would I want to feel young when I am the age I am? why would I think the young enjoy life more than the old? I don't get it because I don't see old as bad. Isn't fine wine better when it ages? How come we cannot see that with aging? To try and convince yourself you are as young as you think is to imply it's the superior thing. I do not believe it is. Life is what it is and each age is best lived fully without trying to cover it up or rush it ahead.

I so enjoyed this post and all the comments but must admit that, like a few of you, I'm not quite "there" yet as far as surrendering all attempts to maintain vestiges of my earlier appearance. Ah, yes, vanity lives! I don't mean struggling to maintain what I looked like at 40 or even 50 which would be a ridiculous pursuit of the impossible and inappropriate. I'd settle for the me of 13 years ago when I turned 60, though.

I haven't had, don't really want and can't afford plastic surgery, but I still color my hair beige-blonde (it blends with the gray) and wear subtle makeup. I walk daily and try to eat sensibly primarily for health, but also to stay trim. I still like reasonably stylish clothes. I work part time--for the money, of course, but also to stay involved with a world I've belonged to for over 50 years.

So, while I'm not quite at the point of accepting that I'm "old", I'm working on it and am glad I found the "TGB" web site. My husband, at 80, is doing a much better job of it but then he looks great (not a day over 65!).

Incidentally, Nance, in my experience most of the magazines and blogs for "over 40" women aren't intended for those of us MUCH over 40. I LOL every month when I receive my "More" magazine.

I don't ever want to be young again. Bette Davis said that "Getting old ain't for sissie." and she was right. However, it beats the alternative and I kinda like being old. Things that used to put me crazy don't anymore and I laugh at the people who tell ne I don't look my age because I think I do.

Right now I'm looking for a challenge to sustain me for however long I have left which, given my mom's and both grandmas' longevity, could well be another 3 or 4 decades.

Well, after all, old is a state of mind isn't it? I known young people who seemed "old" to me when they were in the 30s, and 90 year olds who seem eternally young. It's all in the attitude.

Great post, Ronni!

This age is the best for me, mainly because I've poked through all the emotional baggage and existential angst and tossed it all out and I can finally yell: "This is who I am!" and "I'm too old for this shite!" with no apology.

It took me a long while to get there.
Freedom is what comes to mind for me when I embrace this age, when I embrace all the scars and whacks it took me to get here when so many, many of my friends are gone.

What is there not to love? I live in a place I only dreamed about in middle age. I still do the paying work I love to do. I play house every day, arranging my bits and pieces as I choose.

I have reconnected with baking and cooking and knitting and reading. And have damn well who I want in for dinner or languid afternoon cups of tea.

I don't pollute my brain with television or nasty magazines that tell me how to de-elder myself. I've earned every wrinkle, every jowl and embrace them. And my hair grows long and gets put up, when I feel like it. But I really, really want a long braid.

I noticed myself deliberately slowing down behind daughter and teenage granddaughter on the icy sidewalk tonight and I just LOVED that.

Why? Because I always raced before.

And missed so much.

XO
WWW

I am 61, and have gone around and around about the Grey hair thing. Of course , in this society, youth gets first place, Walk in any store or group, and it seems that "youth has it all," either with attention paid, beauty treatments, makeup, facials, clothes etc.

For me, I notice i get much less attention or little because I look "older"

Today I am going to get a hair cut , period, no dye, no weaves, pure and simple and let my long salt and pepper frame my aging face, After all , this is living,

I have the pleasure of working as a mental health case manager in a geriatric mental health unit, where we manage elders with all types of dementias including mental illness. I can say that some of the most lovely heads of hair I have seen are those silver hair ladies. Despite the ravages of life which have left them pretty depleted, they are lovely unto themselves, Thank you, Nancy in usa

I am 63. recently a man addressed me as
"young lady". I replied, " Is there anything wrong with old?" "no " He said. "good , I answered, "then you don't need to call me young lady."