It's so easy to give advice until you have 'been there, done that.' A few athletic elders are not the norm, nor should they be. Youth is for the young.

Being an elder means making the necessary adjustments to life as you age and accepting who you are and what you are capable of doing.

I have been inspired by those who excel physically and not intimidated. But I also am just as happy to idly watch mother nature in all her glory. I think the best part of aging is choices without judgement and not caring what others think. It is a nice life when not compromised by poor health or poor finances.

I dunno. Any time somebody says, "People who are [name your subcategory] say/think/do [name your generalization]," the statement is probably wrong. The similarity between my life story so far and that of all other (American, white, middle-class, female) 58-year-olds have some commonalities - we remember dial phones and the Kennedy assassination. Beyond that, however, the differences are huge: health, wealth, marital status, dumb luck, interests, beliefs, politics, values...

I've always sat and watched the birds. I spent endless hours in my 20s sitting around drinking cofee with my friends. I want to reinvent myself again and again for the rest of my life.

I've always found opportunitites for reinvention--new job, moving, even the New Year--to be reinvigorating and energizing, making me alive to new possibilities.

Reinvention or reflection? Well, I'm very close to 70 and I do marathons. Racewalking and not running. But I do them for myself and for no one else. You want to sit on the porch...be my guest.
But understand that I didn't reinvent myself to do this, I did this years before I retired and it has everything to do with 'me' and how I feel about myself. If I ever saw a reporter coming to ask me about my age while I was racing I would tell him/her to get lost. I've done it before. There's no celebration here, it's just hard work.
Right now I'm rehabilitating myself after surgery and I'm planning on returning to the races because they make me feel good. It's part of who I am.
And yes, I take naps now. That's also part of who I am.

Well said. As most of us know, the media is wrong about pretty much everything as they look for a shallow answer that fits a soundbite and draws up their ratings.

Reinvent? If it ain't broke, why? We reinvent when the existing device is no longer functional or we have substantial reason to believe that a new design would significantly improve functionality.
I ain't broke and it doesn't seem that either Ronni or the rest of y'all are either.

What is broken is a society that has discarded most of the fundamental virtues that we held to be "self-evident". Loyalty, integrity, compassion trust etc., in exchange for a quick buck and a shiny new self-image replete with silicon accoutrements and botox . The "snows of yester year" are ice cubes melting in my glass.
We can thank our baby boomer friends for all that.

Years ago, I lived in a town in Florida, where toxic levels of ageism flourished. This would seem to be no surprise--there was a hardworking but MUCH poorer younger population rubbing elbows daily in grocery stores and other public spaces with MUCH richer retirees, who were often very demanding and unpleasant.

Now I think there was more to it.

One of the things the young probably hate most about the old is exactly the chronological fact that most ships have sailed. Older folks can't become ballerinas, basketball players, or beauty queens, and even if they once were those things, they're not now, no matter how much "reinvention" goes on. In our competitive culture, most of youth does seem to be about the striving for "more" and "better".

I think the young are actually a little jealous (though they'd never admit it) of what they imagine as a safe and luxurious harbor from the incessant striving and stretching and yearning.

Still, it can't hurt for any of us (unsafe, unrich, unreinvented, and OK with it as we really are) to treat younger people well, with respect from adult to another--a lesson those Florida retirees might have done well to learn.

After all, we've been them. They've never been us.

And I'm with you there in Pilates class, Claire Jean!

I can't find anywhere Ronni said exercise or even jumping out of airplanes is a bad idea for elders. what she doesn't like is that the media - and after all, the media define the culture nowadays - make reinvention and extreme sports the ideal for old people implying, and sometimes saying outright, that any old person who isn't doing these things is a slacker.

Are you people willfully misunderstanding Ronni?

And Hattie, that is Ronni's point that "We've been them (young). They've never been us." They have no idea what it is to be old (as we did not when we were young) and they have no business defining old age for us.

I like old age too. I just wish it lasted longer.

LOL!! "I like old age too. I just wish it lasted longer."

john, you made my evening.

I am fifty-eight, and was fortunate to retire from teaching at fifty-three.

I love all of the time to read the books, paint the pictures, hang out with my cats, meet friends in the middle of the day for fun like taking hikes or just hanging out. I am doing all the things I never had time for while I worked

I started full time work at twenty-one years of age because I had to support myself. I never thought about not working, and although I married I continued to work because I thought it unwise to rely on a man for money.

As far as reinventing myself, well maybe I will, but right now I am most content just to have the whole day to myself.

I suspect that these folks who write about all the "glamorous" and "daring" things that older people do may be writing about aging this way because they cannot face the reality of the changes that are inherent in aging.

Paula

Some of these comments are great.

I agree completely about the reflection part. And I agree that 'reinvention' is NOT what old age is about. But I think I can see how the misunderstanding may have arisen.
Once we are free of the tyranny of earning a living, there is more time to do things we enjoy. Many of these are going to be be things we have always enjoyed - like watching birds, running races or reading books. But some may be new to us. Because now we have more time to play, to experiment, to travel, to explore places and activities we simply didn't have time or opportunity to explore before. Elderblogging is a good example.
Jung talked about 'individuation', i.e. the process of becoming more fully and completely ourselves, and that may include developing hitherto latent capabilities, such as writing or painting or speaking out on things we care about.
So I suspect that when people talk about 'reinventing' themselves they are in fact describing the continuation of this individuation process. It is a misnomer of course. We are not re-inventing. Reinvention implies replacement. We are not replacing. We are adding.
Until we die, we are all growing, learning, individuating, becoming all that we can be. Not in the striving, goal-oriented way of youth, but in the same slow, natural way that a flower unfolds to its fullest extent and, as the petals fall, the fruit quietly swells and ripens. Even in its last day on the tree, the fruit is still absorbing sunshine. Not reinventing itself, just continuing to deepen its flavour.

As always, Ronni's commentors are thoughtful and valuable, but here's an angle I'd love to see folks tackle:

I'm in my fifth year of retirement from a 30-year career in community college and other levels of education, so I benefit from a small pension (augmented by disabled hubby's Social Security).

My own entire education was chock full 'o continual edicts to produce, excell, climb the academic ladder, and in general be almost totally defined but WHAT I did, not WHO I was/are.

While I know about an internal locus of control, etc. I find it often hard to just relax and enjoy and validate myself in retired activities. A chronic illness which has cropped up mostly post-retirement adds to the challenge. I exercise 3x a week, volunteer 5 days a week at the Humane Society, and read and watch good Netflicks a lot. But I still worry if I'm doing "enough" with my energies.

My quetion to those who've retired a decade or more is "Does it get easier to define yourself in internal, retired-type endeavors as the years go on?"

Even as I write that I think of the external influences of lack of finances, poorer health, etc. which no doubt affect many folks. The mostly cheerful and positive comments to this essay make me a tiny bit suspect. How come we don't hear from more readers who are really struggling with elderhood? Or is it just my perch on the early ledge of elderhood? I'd appreciate your thoughts!

Wonderful post, Ronni. Just so long as we live and are relatively healthy...life is good and not being accountable to anyone for what we do even better. I like the different posts of your readers and agree with Kathy and Guitar Granny. Who is rich - who is happy with his lot...I only wish I had made better $ decisions but that is another story entirely.

I don't really take what the media writes about Boomers seriously any more. Perhaps those writers are really all about finding an "angle" to attract attention and the rest is just so much rhetoric. Maybe I just have a jaded view about what motivates those writers including that they may not even believe what they say.

You're certainly correct that the generations older than the Boomers are largely ignored in the media unless engaging in extreme activities. I guess we've become "the forgotten generations" -- except here!