And don't forget Elvis dying on the toilet! Ronni, how funny. Now I have something brand new to worry about.

Oh my - I am just "hoping" I die with a hoe or shovel in my hand in the garden.
My request - children please honor..
No funeral - just loved ones when ashes are spread on my garden or in the woods.
Simple - plus no flowers - just do something for someone.
Also, if anyone wants to do something for me do it now. If you have something nice to say - I would like to hear it.

Geez...and up 'til now I just worried about the clean underwear thing...

They might all just walk around me thinking I'm a old drunk who passed out, and who knows how long I'd be there for people to stare at, an object of derision before someone figures out I'm dead.

Well, I guess when you think the time is right, you could take a cruise. Pop a few of your favorite sedatives with a bottle of fine wine, then take a swim off the back of the liner late at night.

You could be one with Poseidon, the little mermaid and the fishys in the deep blue sea.

Or, you could go out like Gram Parsons: have your friends load up the booze, haul your dead butt out to Joshua Tree and have a fun party then set your body on fire for the wind to scatter you all over the desert.

Then you have a helluva wake by pasting beer bottles with some homemade labels featuring a bad likeness of yourself and the legend, "Ronni Pilsner: A stiff drink for what ales you." Dr. Demento for a deejay, and add some live music by Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt Kickers of "Monster Mash" fame.

And you to make sure you have a caretaker for Ollie. With 4 of us here and 3 cats, we're covered. And I have a backup person on top of that.
I was going to put them in my will but haven't had to do that yet. However, if it was only me, there would be a substantial amount left to the care of my feline companions.
I've seen bereaved animals lost and confused in the local shelter, it is not good.

I want cremation and haven't worried about the body part of it but have thought where do I want the ashes put. Definitely no fancy urn and ideally probably in water somewhere. It's too bad they don't put them in a biodegradable container as I have been told it isn't always easy to remove them all. I like the idea of not dividing them even though I know they get separated once they are thrown into the water. Maybe before it becomes an issue, a place will be obvious to me. I also do not want any funerals, no flowers, etc.

Rain

Here ya go!

Bio Urns

I've thought about donating my aged remains to a medical school, but I have to admit that the thought of "kids" carving up my body creeps me out.

Don't forget to leave a list of people to be notified of your death (your Christmas Card roster?). It's a bummer to discover months after the fact that an old friend, colleague or someone who's been in your life, even casually, has died and your condolences are now belated.

Heh, heh, Bert. Yeah, I realized while I was writing this that it was "kinda weird," but I like how everyone who has commented is running with it.

I have made a list of my "final wishes" and given copies of it to my children, and one for my doctor. I want to be cremated, because, if there is even the slightest chance that I might come back, I don't want to come back in this body!

Thank you, Pattie. I bookmarked that site, very neat, and actually had a cry when I watched the video with the rose petals and the envelope like urn floating on the water. Very beautiful and far better than what some have described to me of trying to get all the 'remains' out of the container.

My family stopped doing funerals with my father's as he didn't want anything but what we did instead was have a graveside time where anybody could talk who wanted to do so and then came back to the farm for a meal and family and friend time. That has been how we have done it since. With cremation the time would be with letting the ashes go, I guess.

I'm with Technobabe--cremation and no service. I just might be around to see what happens! Doubt that I will care, though. I do want a marker in the cemetery where most of my family is interred, even if I'm not there. They come in handy later when relatives are looking up their ancestors.

Never occurred to me before to be worried about the air pollution caused by all the boomer cremations coming up.

Peeked at the CycledLife site and accidentally found myself confronted by the dead hog slide. It's too late at night and I've weirded and worried myself out totally. No R.I.P. for me tonight! I'll have to bookmark this for a morning visit.

http://www.yourlawyer.com/articles/read/11533

The illegal trade in body parts is first on my list of ghoulish worries

I've already paid for my cremation with the Neptune Society...since I'm still young (66), don't anticipate it being needed anytime soon...but just in case, the price does include delivery "home" from anywhere in the world. Maybe in my mind it's a kind of insurance so I won't die early!??

My son, who died at 26, was cremated, and I did split up his ashes into 6 or 7 containers and his friends and father distributed them literally all over the world from the bottom of the Grand Canyon to the Himalayas. I think he would have liked that very much as he was a great adventurer.

My father wanted a military funeral. Six years ago upon his death my three brothers and I, and mother, composed the service and did it (sans minister), reading a wonderful Ogden Nash poem, among others. One brother played taps on his trumpet. We had the three man military guard, which even included a drunken sailor, which would've pleased my Dad to no end!

It's so funny (to me) how people worry about what will happen after they die. I mean, it just isn't logical! When you DIE, you're DEAD! It won't MATTER (to YOU) who sees you or touches you or whatever because YOU'RE DEAD! If you're DEAD, you can't possibly be EMBARRASSED!! Don't you GET IT?!? Ha! It's like y'all think that your brain will still be working. It WON'T! You'll be DEAD! :) So relax!

Don't you just know that the people handling your dead body have handled a million dead bodies before YOURS and, well, it's just another dead body. Plain and simple. Your older, dead body is probably not all that interesting to someone else. Put yourself in the 'handler's' position. Would YOU want to have a good look at a strangers old-ish body? Maybe if it was a young, beautiful body - the handler would have a good look. But OUR older bodies? Naaah... don't think so. My donor card says they can use my body for absolutely any purpose under the sun. It's surely helpful for training to have bodies to work with.

Anyway, my hope for you is that you have the most tender and loving handlers. :)

Nikki -- Of course you are right! Better to worry about things we'll be totally conscious of alive rather than dwelling on irrational humiliation worries after DEATH. "Lord, what fools these mortals be!" (Including me.)

Ronni -- Does this set a record for # of posts to a topic? It's been fun!

When I'm gone they can toss what's left of me in the nearest dumpster with its skirt up around its ears for all I care. We're all just temporary assemblages of atoms that will soon return to base to be recycled.
Funerals: they are for the people left behind. I want my loved ones to mark my passing in whatever way is most meaningful for them. And they need to do that, just as I have needed to do it for others in my time. It is an important part of 'grief work'. Scripting one's own funeral denies people that opportunity. I may be a control freak in life but I don't want to be one in death also!

My brother and his family are part of a group in their synagogue who come together over a dead congregant and wash and wrap the body in the plain white gown used in the burial. It's creepy to write (as I read what I've typed) but they describe it as warm and loving and I can't help but think that,if there is a soul and someplace to go once we shed this mortal coil, this is an awfully nice send-off.

I haven't laughed out loud about this topic in a while. Thanks, Ronni, for the giggles.
a/b

So many chuckles and some good ideas!
Thanks, everyone.
Ronni, at first I thought you were serious; how happy I was to discover otherwise.

I, too, think I won't care. I do hope to have all estate matters completely in hand, and have on my list the plan for making sure I don't lie dead in an empty house for any length of time.

I hope to able to throw my own celebration of living some years down the road, but I tend to agree with Marian about a post-croaking service: it's for those left; let them decide what they need/want.

And, since naked or near it is my favorite state of dress, I think I'll hang a robe near the door. : )

1. HECM = paid off and picked out funeral stuff etc.
2. Aish.com - story She Is Pure about the Chevrah Kaddisha (holy society for burials)
3. When I said to the funeral person what I wanted ie. graveside...his reply what your family wants...you won't be there...
4. Ronni - always good to Plan Ahead!!!!!!

When my husband died in a hospital's hospice, as a last, loving gesture my daughter and I washed his body while we waited for the driver from the funeral home to come. We had requested cremation and no one asked us to supply clothes - I guess his hospital johnny was considered enough.

I'm just not going to die. I've had last rites twice and I'm still here. I figure heaven doesn't want me and Satan's afraid I'll take over!!!

Hmmmm....Most of the concerns regarding death are pretty materialistic...I have feeling that the next dimension won't be so. I have been a funeral director for 27 years and don't anguish!!! Medical examiners, doctors and funeral directors see bodies everyday and approach things from a clinical prospective. As a mortician our biggest concerns center around satisfying the desires and whims of the various families and next-of-kin that we serve. My advice to all of you would to be sure that you make arrangements with your chosen mortician, even if it is to tell them what you want. You don't have to put $$ aside to get your wishes down in writing. I don't know how many times I sat around a table with a grieving family questioning, "I wonder what Mom/Dad would have wanted us to do. While it is nice for families to have some control at a very difficult time, it is also nice if they have some idea of your wishes..And you can make a request to just have them wrap a blanket around you before cremation - not to dress you!!! Any requests that you make are respected. My husband (also a mortician) and I are both being cremated, but having our ashes buried in a remote northern cemetery. After years in the "service", we both feel that a permanent memorial spot is important for the rest of the family. I also have a sneaking feeling that people should be crying when we are born and laughing when we die....."God is not malicious but he does have a sense of humor"..of that I am sure. Any questions?

I've been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this site. Thank you, I'll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site? daeeekdfedgaeeka