As I am contemplating retirement from full-time work (and having a workplace for social connections), I was happy to read the findings about retirement vs. working.

Interesting! Thanks for sharing. I imagine people who are older in this survey have learned to live with their loneliness. I found loneliness worse during the period of my life when my kids were no longer around as much and were starting their own families, but one does get used to loneliness and learn to live with it, don't you think?

I am alone a lot at this time of my life. I like this. A busy lifetime with career, marriage, children, divorce, and ongoing busyness. In my 70's I could not have survived at that pace. Coming home and building a cottage by the woods. Time for reading, writing, gardening, yoga, meditating and just being and finding out who I really am - is wonderful. My writing online and the constant interaction with many friends - it has brought into my life - the last 3 years has kept me from being "lonely".

I think a lot of how a person feels about this is whether they are extroverts or introverts. An introvert doesn't need that much interaction with others to feel good but an extrovert who is not getting what they need will feel loneliness faster. I am an introvert and although I like people, am not shy, and can interact in a large group, I don't feel the need for it and am selective about where I do that to save solitary time for myself. Maybe because of being an introvert, I rarely feel lonely and when I do, I can usually trace it to a relationship that isn't working as well as I would wish or something else going wrong with me.

What I have to watch is that I don't let myself get too isolated as intro- or extrovert, we do all need people in our lives. For me though that would be several deep friendships rather than a lot of casual ones.

I've moved around a lot in my life, I generally found it took 2 years in a new place to develop a social life and make good friends (I am single). My last couple of post-retirement moves have been easier, the 2 years shortened to 1 and a bit.

I found joining a church or other religious organization was huge, regardless of whether I actually believed in that particular religion. Instant friends and social life. Sounds cynical I know, but it did take a bit of effort to find churches that didn't mind my non-belief (and I wasn't in-your-face about it, just your average low-key non-believer).

I have developed hobbies for the sole purpose of meeting people, and in the process learned something new.

Loneliness was hardest to bear when I was working, I just didn't have enough spare time to do something about it and I generally did not find good friends or a social life at work. It's much easier now.

Overall this report doesn't surprise me, it pretty much matches my personal experience so far. I am 62.

My one quibble with this report is the lumping together of everyone over 70 (70+); I would like to have seen a breakdown of elders in that range. Do elders in their 80s and 90s experience more loneliness as their friends and spouses pass on?

Annie, I too was wondering about the lumping together of everyone over 70 also. I have regular contact with a pair of sisters in their mid to late 80's and I hear the older one missing her friends who have died (as did my Dad in his 80's. She's no longer confident to drive anywhere but to the doctor or grocery, she was a great car traveler. The younger one lives in a little house in a very nice retirement facility but is not interested in all the "old" people in the place. I can't help but think being confined to your home with health issues or lack of transportation, or worse in a nursing home could be very lonely for many elders. It's something I fear when I think about it and I'm 68.

I also experienced extreme loneliness during my youth, right up to and including high school. I was shy, awkward, was also teased unmercifully, and at the same time shunned. Books were my friends and escape, not a bad thing since reading and learning are crucial life skills. I also learned how to be comfortable alone with myself, and I realized early on that the only one I could for sure count on was me. Good life lessons. Once I got to college I started making friends among the other nerds, got over the shyness, found my feet in the world, but I've remained a contented introvert. I've long since discovered that I was far from alone in my experience, it just felt like it at the time. My adult life, including my elder years, has been a vast improvement over my youth. Life changes occasionally left me feeling lonely, but it didn't last. I share your experience of breaking up with a guy, only to discover that our friends were actually his friends. Humph. Well, I moved on, as did you.

It does seem surprising that the working middle-aged should see themselves (on average) as more lonely than those who are older and retired. Hmm. Perhaps over our lives we've learned to cope, be more accepting, be happier with ourselves. The overall message appears to be that folk who have absorbing interests don't feel lonely, at least not often. And I agree that being alone doesn't equate to lonely. Solitude is actually necessary for any creative and/or contemplative activity.

It concerns me too that all old age is lumped in the 70+ column. At 63 and now happily retired, I often wonder (at times fear) what later life might bring, when physical limitations and the death of contemporaries could leave me isolated. Even an introvert needs some social contact. I hold out hope for technological advances such as the internet, bringing blogs such as this one.

There is a huge hole in my heart right now. Our sweetheart senior cat died the same evening the miners were rescued.

I can't stop crying.

We see her everywhere in the house and miss her terribly.

I am no good with goodbyes.

A senior friend up the street invited me to her church last February, when I was worried about my mom living on her own in a big house.

There, I met many other strong, smart senior widows from my area. It was a good thing to get involved in the community, to discover there is an army of senior women from the greatest generation, holding strong on their own in houses they are not ready to sell.

I got involved, helping the members of that church fight and win a David & Goliath battle to have an apartment for seniors built and attached to the church.

Loneliness comes and goes.

I work hard to walk through difficult, lonely times, by reading motivational books, forcing my butt to try different things.

My husband and I just started volunteering one afternoon a week at a food bank.

The people who walked in the door to get food could be any one of us.

One man said he used to be a drug and alcohol counselor until his back quit on him.

He went on disability, which pays peanuts. But he was still smiling, as he lives in a co-op apartment, paying what he can afford.

I helped the guy take his bags of food outside and pack them in his old car.

He said he was lonely in his co-op. He had a few friends who nagged him to go out on the weekends. He collected bottles, jars with lids, stuff that can be recycled.

I told him about my cat.

He had a huge, beautiful cat. A friend of his got breast cancer, had to have one breast removed. The man saw that she was becoming severely depressed, so he offered her his cat.

She took the cat, bought it toys, loves it. The woman is way happy now that she has the cat, her friends.

Loneliness is an important topic.

It's pouring rain, leaves are falling.

Mom and I had breakfast today. We talked about all the cats we have loved.

Thanks for the space, Ronni.

I was lonely until the 90's when something happened. It was like I went around a corner and bumped into myself. I've been palling around with this find ever since. The development of this relationship comes right at the end of looking to others to complete me, not surprisingly .

Perhaps there is more than one kind of loneliness that we must recognize as humans. There are so many stories related here! And what role do pets play in alleviating loneliness? (Doctafil my heart goes out to you!) I would suspect that loneliness as an adult would be quite different from the loneliness experienced by an elder of 70+ when one is immobilized and possibly marginalized by the culture.

Thank you, Ronni, for opening up the subject and I thank everyone for sharing your stories on this subject. It has given me so very much to think about! How we are accompanied is a good thing to consider and prepare a strategy for as we age, I think.

Docatafill, I am so sorry you lost your much-loved cat. I'm very much a cat-person and know how hard it is when they leave us. My husband and I lost two 16+ year-old cats within 14 months several years ago. Our lovely little 13-year old Maine Coon-mix has chronic renal failure. She's stable now, but we know what the future holds. Very sad!

As far as being lonely, like several of you, our school days were the worst. I wouldn't want to be a teenager again for anything! I'm an introvert and had a very difficult time in grades 1-12. (I think today it might actually qualify as bullying). Fortunately, not having much of a social life gave me plenty of time to read and study. As a result I was admitted to and graduated from an excellent college.

At 73 I haven't been lonely for a long time. A lot of that is due to my wonderful spouse of 32 years and a job I enjoy. I have no idea how I would fare if he predeceases me or if I get very very old and can no longer care for myself. Somehow I will persevere for as long as I can because I'll still have cats to care for!

June, I had the same thought about being alone and loneliness. One can feel so alone in the wrong group, or as you said when looking to others to fill the spaces.

Today Henry Alford (henryalford.com) has posted Elderism #85 about Duke Ellington. He was incredibly busy, enjoyed critical acclaim, was beloved by so many, and yet, “I’m a hotel man,” Ellington said. “I like being alone, you know. I don’t know why.”

Ok, I'm an extrovert, 75, married to a loner who hasn't kissed me in years, and have a terrible time with goodbyes.
I had a bad childhood, divorced, remarried. In short I am all of the above.

Old, but not, definitely not lonely! In fact I truly enjoy my alone time.
Perhaps having had a large family and not enough hours in the day, years of not enough hours in the day, contributes to the joy I feel now that I am, with exception of a loner husband, alone.
I am fortunate in that I have traveled, enjoyed a great neighborhood, was a member of large clubs and have amassed many good memories.
Now, finally, it's my turn. To sleep when tired, eat when hungry, read a book from cover to cover, and do laundry at 3AM.
I love having the time to learn about things that interest me. Historic novels, audio version, allows me to research as I listen, and it gives me great pleasure.
Take heart you who are younger than I, it's great to be old!

Thanks for all the kind comments about my cat. Appreciated.

FYI -- Just received the Nov/Dec 2010 AARP The Magazine. On page 54, there is an article about this topic. It includes a quiz and more information.

The most acute feeling of loneliness I recall occurred after my mother re-wed, then soon after we moved, and ultimately left our town for the country. The only time I saw others my age was at school and initially I was really lonely. Finally, a visit to former classmates one afternoon became a disappointment as I couldn't explain what I was experiencing and they didn't understand. I guess I realized then, in 7th grade, that my happiness depended on me -- that they were more important to me than I was to them. I rarely allowed myself to be in that situation again. Later moves resulted in my being in a similar rural type environment until I went away to college.

I think there is a sense of aloneness for a period of time after any move away from friends and family. I've found it ironic that times when I've wished for solitude there was none and then when I finally had it there was more than I wanted for many reasons.

Solitude, aloneness and loneliness either with or without other significant people present are interesting topics to consider -- how we perceive them, and how they impact our lives.