Two comments.

Yes, we should be alert to signs of loneliness in others. We should also make sure our friends know we are NOT lonely, so they don't worry about us.

Our wonderful communication systems (internet, smartphones) make it so much easier to stay engaged and in contact with others. We are so fortunate!

Great post. Too many people confuse alone and lonely. They are not the same. You can be content alone while lonely in a crowd.

I also need time alone to ‘recharge the batteries.’ I’m quite happy alone for long periods of time. I guess I just like myself.

HuffingtonPost just published an article by Sophia Dembling that discusses being an introvert...in a positive way. I couldn't believe how many of her comments seemed to describe me to a T.

Ronni's comment about socializing exhausting her is echoed by Ms.Dembling, "...after a weekend of socializing, I need several days of quiet solitude to recover...".
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sophia-dembling/nine-signs-that-you-might_b_2251932.html#slide=1849758

The word "introvert" is not negative; it is neutral. It was Jung who originated the idea that people can be introverts or extroverts and that either choice is healthy.

By definition, introverts gain their energy internally, while extroverts get theirs from being with people. Thus, introverts need to turn inward to recharge after a time of socializing.

I am an introvert--have been all my life. It may be that elderhood will intensify this tendency, but it isn't anything new to me.

Just as people can be introverted or extroverted, so can cultures. The American culture is extroverted, most Asian cultures are introverted. Thus, in the U.S., it is introverts who feel like misfits.

I recommend the recent book "Quiet" for more information on introverts, much of it from research.

I took a test in the 90's and came out equally extrovert and introvert--I'm both! I love going places and being with people, but I also love just being with my cats and having nothing on the calendar. As I've gotten older I find the nothing-on-th-calender/cat time is becoming preferred!

Of course, the computer always makes me feel very connected to the world. On occasion I've had to do without my computer for a few days (repairs/power outage) and it is completely weird. I have thought about how it would be to be old- old without a computer.....and I'm pretty sure I'd despair if it came to that.

I had an artist friend who lived alone across the street. If she raised her curtain, I knew she was ok. She too liked being alone. Years later she moved to the mountains at the urging of new friends. One morning she had a stroke. There was no safety net in the mountains, and she lay, unable to move, face down in her own vomit. She lived another year incoherently in a hospital far, far away, and her wonderful art work vanished somewhere hopefully nnot into the trash.

Alone is ok, just make sure you have a safety net.

I don’t think we need to read other people’s observations; only use our own. One wonders if those who have been popular and the center of attraction when younger find life harder in old age. On the other hand, those who may have been ostracized, labeled unkindly or avoided for various reasons have somehow been conditioned for old age, unknowingly. Why shouldn’t older people feel a little down when the biggest growth industry in this country is nursing homes, assisted living, etc. Just look around your area.

As we age the noise and activity of others does become more exhausting...but like everything in life we need friends and family in balanced doses with listening to music and reading poetry.

I have commented so many times that I enjoy living alone that it has become redundant. My friends and family all know that I am never lonely and am selfishly enjoying being good to myself. As Marc said, "What's not to like."

I never thought of myself as an introvert or an extrovert. I was never alone in my entire life until I was widowed and my last child stopped using the revolving door. In those days I did not feel the need for solitude. So to say I am an introvert would be misleading.

I consider myself a chameleon and pragmatically adapt to life's changes.

In a nutshell - I can be alone and never feel lonely.

It's good to be with family, friends and be active in the community but when my body tells me to "stop" I listen.

I have a limited amount of energy and keep learning that I have to be selective about how I spend it.

Fortunately I really enjoy just being home and doing whatever I want to do when I want to do it.

Susan Cain, author of the book, "Quiet," has already been mentioned by others. Here's a link to a quiz on her website that can help you understand if you're an introvert: http://bit.ly/v0g4SP I'm particularly fond of Ms. Cain's work because she makes such an effort to explain that introverts are not necessarily shy. We can be quite capable of interacting in a group, even performing in front of a crowd, but we need our quiet time!

I think choice is what makes the difference. If you choose to spend time alone, you're enjoying your solitude, but if you're alone, not by choice, but because you have no alternative, then you're apt to be miserable.

I too really need my alone time. I'm introverted but not shy. I like and enjoy people but always needed recharge time, at 70 I find I need more and more recharge time. I have several scheduled semi-social time during any given week but walking in my door is the cure for all. Big party requires several days of peace and quiet. I have a small number of truly close friends, the habit of a lifetime. Quoting Sophia Dembling "Any attrition in our friendships can be a problem because replacing an intimate is difficult." So true, so I try to get out in the community more so as not to be the last woman standing so to speak.

I truly enjoy being around people. One reason people prefer to be alone, perhaps, women especially, is that they always feel they have to be doing things: providing services, making small talk, making some sort of impression when they are with others. In other words, for them it's work. So I've learned just to "hang out" without expecting a lot of the situation. After all, I'm here with you all to enjoy myself! However, I do zero in on the old people at any gathering I attend, those in their 80's or 90's, because people do not come up to them or talk to them, usually, but just leave them to sit. No wonder elders may say they would rather stay home with the cat!
One thing that I have always enjoyed is going somewhere, like a coffee shop, and just sitting and reading, all by myself. I also like striking up the occasional conversation with strangers, if they look interesting and seem as if they want to talk, in stores, at bus stops, in exercise class, and so on.
I'm not really what you would call gregarious, but I do like to be around my fellow humans. I have some introverted friends, and I notice that they prefer structured social situations and don't do well with noise and confusion, and they report having always been that way.I think some of that is innate. My mother in law, for instance, would never talk to anyone to whom she had not been introduced. To go up to someone and introduce herself to someone was out of her behavior range. She was VERY introverted.
What I like best is spending time with my husband and kids and grandkids and with close friends. People I know well. But I don't mind being a little bit of a social butterfly sometimes.

You've expressed great wisdom here. There is a fine balance between loneliness and solitude. I choose solitude much of the time. I would never choose loneliness.

I agree that being alone and loneliness are two quite different feeling experiences. I rarely feel lonely but was keenly aware of being alone periodically after my husband died. I can identify with missing instances of intimacy shared with a significant other i.e. "pillow talk."

Just today, I was waiting for a traffic light change, glanced over to the car in the next lane to observe an older couple chatting as they waited, too. I felt a slight twinge as I immediately thought of how much my husband and I had enjoyed our driving trips around the U.S. together -- that comfortable state of conversing with each other when we felt like it, augmented by long periods of silence as we each enjoyed our "solitude together" lost in our own thoughts -- sometimes shared, sometimes not but with no expectation we needed to do so.

In lieu of acquiring a new partner which is definitely not on my agenda, I've thought it might be fun to have a girlfriend slumber party, as I recall from my youth, when a group of us gathered and talked way into the early morning hours. Logistics are all different now since some of us might not be able to stay awake, or couldn't bounce back as easily the next day if we did stay awake. Recall doing this midlife once, too. Problem now is the people I'd want to invite mostly live elsewhere, aren't well enough to travel, or they've died.

I pretty much fluctuate with times I enjoy being with people and other times I prefer being alone; generally enjoy meeting new people.