Thank-you Ronni for this excellent post. I can't express how much this means to me. I believe in the Golden Rule, it works as we all know.

Thanks, Ronnie, for your words. It's really disturbing that instead of addressing the subject (lack of attractive clothing for elders), so many feel the need to point out how superior they are. I think that the term "affordable" should also be included in the lack of clothing topic. To be mean-spirited enough to gloat over being more than others has always been, and shall always be, rude and insensitive.

Hear, hear! How lovely to see such self-satisfied, judgmental persons receive their come-uppance!

I felt really sorry for the old mean girls when I first read their comments. How awful to not recognize that the earlier female elders were offering comments on fashion that dealt with their personal daily challenges. They were not seeking to restrict others apparel choices or to criticize those with slim body shapes and non-elastic pants and bras in their wardrobe.

I wonder what the mean girls would say to me and other stroke survivors. Elastic waists are a must for me if I want to get my clothing arranged in time for disaster-free toileting. And even though I have reached the point I can zip and button, sometimes, it takes so long, that I prefer to spend that time in other more stimulating pursuits.

And I AM slim through minor effort on my part due to metabolism that I can't take credit for. But even with a favorable metabolism, after my discharge from more than a month in the hospital after my stroke, I had gained more than 10 pounds.

Poor old mean girls, to be stuck in an immature world view and to miss out on appreciating the variety of wonderful people out there of all shapes, sizes, colors, cultures and faiths.

I wasn't rich or pretty, but as a self-centered, socially awkward eighth grader, I can remember some instances of meanness that I delivered. I thank my Lord and people who loved me in spite of myself for growth beyond what could have become a recurring and destructive pattern.

Thank you, Ronni, for this forum and to your readers for articulating many of our elder fashion needs and connecting with the young designer.

Great column, Ronnie. One additional thought that I had on keeping fit, etc., is that many of us have physical problems that limit our movements. When I was younger, I had few problems with weight; as arthritis crept in, it became more and more painful to exercise--even to walk. We never know the personal struggle of those around us. Judging should be left to the criminal justice system.

I had not read the comments, or all of the original post, as I have no interest in fashion, so skipped most of it. I will say that it seems to me that some people who come off sounding haughty and superior as these commenters you have quoted have, are often not aware of how hurtful they can be. I hope your post today has provided them with some helpful feedback that may result in their being more considerate and thoughtful in the future, regardless of when and where they comment. Thank you for taking the time and effort to use the comments to remind us all of our manners and the need to be mindful of other people's feelings.

When I was in jr. high & high school, the mean girls picked on me for being too tall & too skinny. I was delighted to discover the words of the Duchess of Windsor when I got older: "One can never be too rich or too thin." Any woman who can get a man to give up the throne of England for her knows something I don't. I'm still to tall & too skinny and I still get ragged on about it and I don't care. I'd like to be too rich but truth be told, I don't really give a damn -- I'm doing just fine.

The mean ones in high school too often do not change, never outgrowing their self-centeredness, narrow-mindedness and arrogance.
Luckily the rest of us grow up and learn to deal with, like and appreciate ourselves and others for who we are without the judgmental attitude.

A most intriguing article. However I think you have been missing some positive developments in "elder" fashion. Haven't you noticed the many catalogs of regular fashions now feature most of their short sleeved Tees and blouses with elbow length sleeves? It's taken a few years but it is here. And why blame Michelle Obama because she has obviously worked hard to maintain arms we'd all like to have. As to the elastic waists, they are annoying because they won't stay smooth in front, so many designers have kept the front smooth and placed the elastic on the sides. Even pants with front zippers often have the side elastic too. Shoes too have become a problem for some of us, so I see many, many well designed shoes with lower heels (even the old 3" heels are too much for most "elders") or wedges. All the beautiful shoe designs have come too late for me, probably you too.
So it is not as dark as you have painted. And I have noticed at the women's dressing room at my Y that most of the younger women do not wear bras (though they do wear thongs which I'll never understand).
But the supercilious voices of the "mean girls" comments is repugnant.
P.S. I loved hearing John Denver again!

The point is, you must be ashamed of your body and work as hard as you can to make it acceptable to others. God forbid you should just go about your business, working, carrying out worthy projects and enjoying life.
These "mean girls" suffer from extreme social insecurity which they try to hide by concentrating so hard on their physical appearance and putting people down who don't meet their standards. They tend to have no friends, because who likes critical people? I imagine them raging at the way some comfortable and pleasant woman has more friends than they do when they are so slim and trim.
I had one of them show up on my blog to tell me that I needed to find a good hairdresser. Yep. People would like me so much better if only I'd pay better attention to my hair!

Judy...
Now it is two of you. I did not blame the first lady for anything. I blamed designers for using the first lady's preference for sleeveless clothes as an excuse to remove sleeves from too much of women's clothing.

In addition, elastic waists may be annoying to you, but do not assume they are so for everyone. I have no trouble keeping elastic waists smooth in front and don't care if they are not; I don't tuck shirts and blouses into elastic waists.

You may find the mean (old) girls repugnant but perhaps you don't realize how uncomfortably close to them you sound in your comment.

Pardon my laughter, but I couldn't help but think, "Don't mess with Ronni. She has all the comebacks and she won't take crap." As the current phrase goes, "You go girl."

I think most of us were victims of the mean girls in High School and that's why our memories of that time of life are ones we would like to forget. They can no longer hurt me and I just feel pity tinged with a little contempt for their shallowness.

Next year is our 50th high school reunion and I have found that as we got older, we all have become more accepting and tolerant and kind because of all the crap we have lived through. Yup, even the "mean girls." Although I went to an all girls' Catholic school and don't recall too much of that.But in elementary school, I got teased terribly for being smart, tall and skinny! No longer tall OR skinny! Hee hee!

Bless you for this. I was so hurt by those harsh words as I am sure were others who have struggled with weight and self-esteem. I could not have written a better rejoinder. I was also so glad to read Ajay's wonderful post about loving kindness. Your post was the icing the cake (although heaven forbid that a somewhat plump elder ever eat cake). ahem...

The greatest challenge, for me, is to find the styles I like and wear them regardless of the dictates of fashion. I'm doing pretty well at that, now that I'm a grown-up. I refuse to kowtow to commercial efforts to make me feel bad so I'll enrich clothing makers, or bow down to insecure broads who don't have the self-confidence to dress for themselves.

The "mean girls" never go away, especially if one works in a politically-charged corporate environment. Almost every day I experience women being nasty,picking on other women...senior VPs included.

Irene

Three cheers for Ronni!

Yes Ronni...Thank you!!!!

Pretty snooty ladies, I'd say. They deserve to be thrown out. They'd never make it at the "Best Exotic Marigold Hotel". And, put me on record--nothing wrong with braless, at any age. Ronni, I like your spunk. I think I'll keep coming around this good 'ol blog!

Here is what I didn't understand about one of the comments...she said while visiting Russia, the only heavy people she saw were from her own tour group. Well...did they clean up the streets of fat women (babushkas) ....just for her?
http://jillybchronicles.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/babushka.jpg

I completely agree with you, Ronni, about the trolls and applaud your vigilance, something that requires energy and thought and time that I'm sure you'd be happier spending elsewhere. And as all of your regular readers know, you do encourage intelligent dissent and constructive criticism. (It's too bad - though instructive - that "criticism" has acquired such a negative connotation in general use.)
Thank you for ALL your work for us.

Thank you, Ronni. Never had liked "holier-than-thou" types, but they pop up every once in a while.

Wish I could afford a trip to Russia. If I had that kind of money, I could probably shop where the "mean old girls" do ... but I sure wouldn't like to run into them when I did. I'm afraid I'd lose it totally right there in the store and get 86'd myself. LOLOL

Reading these comments and your replies, Ronni, has been enlightening. I'd been sensitive to what I thought of as "competitiveness" in some of the comments I get on my blog, but your post clarifies my thinking. Several commentors this morning (9/6) use the word "old" as a negative, which is so common. And one preened that she is routinely thought of as younger. I should have conveyed my condolences.