Let's have some silly fun with our old age today.
I ran across yet another instance of a centenarian answering that moldy old reporter's question: What's the secret to your longevity?
Over my lifetime, the most frequent response has been that he had smoked two packs of cigarettes and drunk a quart of whisky every day of his life or some equally “yeah, sure” kind of answer.
For a long time I've suspected these folks just make up the most outlandish stuff they can think of that might shock the young whippersnapper who has the temerity to ask such a dumb question. That may be what happened with this latest guy.
Ben Burlingham, having been born in London in 1909, was celebrating his 104th birthday on Monday with family and cake:
”...the former bus driver," writes reporter Anthony Carroll, "...says his secret [to long life] is eating raw onions and also having a glass of sherry before bed.”
Either item, raw onions or sherry, are not individually interesting but together they are original and side-by-side it's kinda funny although I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Burlingham wasn't pulling the reporter's leg.
That's probably the direction I'd go – maybe talking about all the weed I smoked along with eating a quart of Haagen Dazs a day.
But that's only an exaggeration of my reality – or what I wish could be my reality if I weren't being so health-conscious in recent years. Given the world they live in today, it's hard to come up with anything that would actually shock young people.
Can you do better? Just for fun, pretend that today is your 100th birthday and the cub reporter at your local rag has stopped by for some advice on how to live as long as you have. What would you say?
At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Marc Leavitt: What is Retirement to Me?