So How's Retirement Going for You?

Trump's “Woman Card” is Similar to the “Old-Age Card”

Earlier this week, Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, snidely attacked the Democratic presidential candidate by saying that Secretary Hillary Clinton has nothing more going for her than the “Woman Card."

Ms. Clinton's response to Trump's ignorance was perfection. Take a listen:

Trump, who has an ingrained need to debase every adversary (or, at least, try), further embarrassed himself the next morning when the Morning Joe show on MSNBC apparently lifted their self-imposed ban on his phone calls to the program.

Sounding as though he'd been out too late the night before, Trump slammed Clinton for the volume of her response to his jibe:

”I haven't quite recovered from her shouting that message...” he said. “I guess I'll have to get used to a lot of that over the next months.”

Of course, this is all standard behavior for the loutish Trump but I often wonder these days if there has ever been a public person who dared to express his mysogyny as openly and repeatedly as Trump.

My friend John Gear forwarded a link to me with Washington Post blogger Alexandra Petri's delicious take on Trump's Woman Card barb. A sample:

”Ah yes, the woman’s card. I have been carrying one of these for years, proudly.

“It is great. It entitles you to a sizable discount on your earnings everywhere you go (average 21 percent, but can be anywhere from 9 percent to 37 percent, depending on what study you’re reading and what edition of the Woman's Card you have.)

“If you shop with the Woman Card at the grocery, you will get to pay 11 percent more for all the same products as men, but now they are pink.”

Petri's a funny woman. Here's some more from her about how the Woman Card works:

”Present the Woman Card to a man you have just met at a party and it is good for one detailed, patronizing explanation of the subject you literally got your PhD in.

“Offer it to someone on the red carpet and, instead of any substantive questions about your work, you will get a barrage of inquiries EXCLUSIVELY about what you are wearing.”

Well, to be fair, men on red carpets get the fashion questions too, but we get the point – and welcome it is.

As I was working my way through Ms. Petri's skewering of Trump, I realized that much the same could be written about an “Age Card.” And then, lo – I discovered she was way ahead of me:

”Hook up the Woman Card to your TV,” wrote Petri, “and you will get a barrage of commercials telling you that you did something wrong with your face and must buy ointment immediately so as not to become a Hideous Crone.

“Also, you are now expected to spend your whole life removing hair from your body, except for the areas of your body where your hair must be long and luxurious. (Do not get these two areas confused!)

“Unlike Man Cards, Woman Cards do not increase in value as they age. In fact, they depreciate. Do not collect Woman Cards. Even in mint condition, they are worthless.”

By god, Petri is on to something. It is hard to recall exactly, but I think I was issued my Old-Age Card about 12 or 14 years ago, just past by 60th birthday.

It comes with the advantages Ms. Petri lists except that when it's plugged into the TV, you are provided with the full range of “ointments” to fix society's litany of icky old-people flaws – you know, constipation, acid reflux, toe fungus, erectile dysfunction, constipation, COPD, overactive bladder, incontinence and vaginal dryness.

In the latest version of the Old-Age Card, you might even get all these remedies in one commercial break.

Among its other merits, the Old-Age Card allows you to be called geezer, coot, biddy, fogey and fossil along with honey, dearie and/or sweetie by all who are too rude to ask your name.

And unlike the Woman's Card, you may have noted that the Old-Age Card is issued to both sexes, doubling the cultural opportunities to malign 35 million people without consequence.

Best of all, it contains an amazing magical property: it makes you invisible to any and all who don't want to be reminded that they too will one day be issued an Old-Age Card.

It's a lot like the Woman Card but even more potent.


You & Petri.........brilliant! Thank you. :)Dee

She took the words right out of my mouth: BRILLIANT!!

I'm glad so many people are taking Trump on for his disgusting insult to Hillary and all women, really. To discount her long history of public service including time spent in the senate and state department as having no value, that man is disrespecting all women who have worked hard in their chosen fields. And oh my gosh, she dared to shout at a campaign rally when that's only reserved for men to do according to The Donald. He's such a PIG!

As a card-carrying old man, I have actually yet to use it.
Although it sits firmly in my wallet with all my other age- status cards (AARP, Medicare, Medicaid and Senior Bus Pass and something from Baskin-Robbins I've had in there since 1976), I have yet to pull out the old man card when I have committed some cultural faux pas.
I still stand there sheepishly when my stomach makes a sound akin to a subway train pulling in to the 14th station. And, rather than bringing attention to the fact that I am wearing two different color socks with "What do you expect, I'm an old man.", I pull my pants lower on my hips to cover my ankles.
I suppose that someday I will use the card and expect some sort of absolution for me being old, but as for now, I'll just act like everybody else and make believe it never happened.

Re: "Best of all, it contains an amazing magical property: it makes you invisible to any and all who don't want to be reminded that they too will one day be issued an Old-Age Card."

Can any of you remember working in partnership with with "that deaf, uncompromising, bespectled slug" in the office next to yours? You know, the one that you were constantly working overtime cleaning up their act . . . Oh, how we wanted to get rid of that "old bat".

I spent a career working for a Fortune 500 that prized itself on hiring good looking people - skills to be considered later! Twenty years later - your good looks were not good enough to attend those all important staff meetings - and those sought after skills, who cared? The younger hires didn't care. They worked feverishly trying to figure out how you did stuff- but were too intimidated to ask. They ganged up and got away with permanently laying-off 3,500 aged 55+ employees.

Do you remember that "60 Minutes" show . .?

continued . . .

I ended that brief, twenty-plus year career with "as the worm turned!"

You and Petri have made my day. This is exactly what I needed this morning, something to make me laugh - chortle, roar, cheer! With some degree of ruefulness, since I am confronted by The Truth. But gee, thank the heavens that - first off, our week-long rain and cold have disappeared this morning as if by magic -- and Ronni and Petri have given me reason for great [albeit rueful] cheer.

happy weekend, everyone.

Good One, Ronni !!!

Now that I have one of each of those cards, it makes me even more proud and happy to be able to dispel those prejudices for as many people as I can!! I have always been delighted to prove to men again and again how really valuable and capable this female human being can be ... and the Elder card just makes it even more fun!!

I love to see the light in a man's eyes fade out when he finds that I'm a member of Mensa, know more about repairing cars than most men and can run rings around him mathematically, among other things. And I do this so gently that most of them never realize what hit 'em ... LOL

Double cards. I try not to be a pedant but having nine grandchildren, seven of them girls I regularly pass the "message" on. Teach your children, warn them. Grandma was a professional, engineering aide, draftsman, and then at age 43 went to school and became a computer programmer and a certificated white water rafting guide.

Yellowstone's post really touched me. At my last job at a large airplane company I discovered the bulk of my (much younger) group was having off-site lunch meetings with my manager while I was still at work and was in fact the program manager. I was 58 then. I had just sold my house and my father was returning home to recover from colon cancer and peritonitis so I took a 90 day family medical leave and left for Oregon. Yes, that was a "ha, take that" as well as something I wanted to do. They called me and fumbled around for a couple of months and then got on with it. My Dad recovered and my time with him was wonderful, it was easier than my job had been. I returned to clean out my desk and fill out the papers for an early retirement and left for good.

I've never been sorry. I found a spot at a local community college and eventually with a social services organization in the town where my son and all those grandkids live. It paid less but I was doing something with some larger value helping long term unemployed and jobless kids get employed and running their computer lab. I got over being angry, furious really. I realize also I had been lucky to find a decent job during a downturn, many of my job clients were men and women in their late 50's and early 60's so helping to find them decent employment was very satisfying.

Trump, ugh. Many things truly repulsive about this country in one package.

Frankly I don't like either men or women shouting when they have microphones in front of them (it's unnecessary!), but it's particularly grating with higher-pitched female voices. And I have written about my aversion to playing the gender card -- something both Hillary and her supporters do. Still, none of that changes the fact that Trump is hopelessly crude and boorish. I think I've lost my woman card, but I have more than enough old age cards to make up for it. Love Petri's remarks. I must follow her and gather more such pearls.

Recently, my daughter had her 35th birthday coming up. I checked out birthday cards at the supermarket and was appalled at the silly/ stupid stuff about becoming another year older.

All sorts of assumptions about bodily functions with "hilarious" references to farting, losing the ability to see or to hear, and the like.

It took me a very long time to find her a card wishing her joy and opportunity and other wonderful things in the year ahead.

A hearty yes to everything above except thr comment about women shouting. Time was, you expected to hear cultured, oratorical voices from politicians. Imagine the adjustment people had to make between FDR and HST. Remember the adjustment we made to the accents of JFK and LBJ? We can all adjust to HRC's voice. It sounded more hoarse than anything else to me on that video clip.

There really was a time when people objected to any woman's voice over the airwaves, but we all adjusted to this.

I loved her comeback to Trump, and also Pelosi's comment about HRC's "experience card."

The more things change...

Grace and Frankie returns with season two to Netflix tomorrow. If you didn't see season one, there is a scene with Lily Tomlinson discovering her new superpower as an old woman. When she couldn't get service to buy cigarettes, no matter how much she yelled for attention, she walked out with them and no one stopped her. Invisibility indeed.

Ah yes, the old age card added to the woman's card. I have both and have had the pleasure (?) of carrying them for many years. Now it's just the old age card that brings the irritations of owning one.

A new doctor I now have called my daughter instead of me to explain my medical condition. The message I was getting "She's old and befuddled so I have to explain things to her daughter so she can make her mother understand." I am not one to take things lying down, so I called his office and specifically asked him to call me. I may be old, but I am not stupid.

Never give up the fight for equality.

I don't think either Trump or TV has a particular focus on misogyny. They both treat pretty much everyone with distain and disrespect. For every commercial that tells a woman she should be thinner and more beautiful there is one showing a dad doing a dumb thing or a man being totally clueless. And while I understand the issues of the Woman's Card, don't forget that the Man's Card, at least in my day, in addition to a higher salary also bought you a ticket to Vietnam and a job digging in a mine or picking up garbage, and these days gives you less of a chance to go to college ... and now and for the foreseeable future offers an express ride to an earlier death. So just a request to Hillary Clinton (who I recently voted for) and everyone else: please don't be anti-male, be equal opportunity.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to re-post this comment by Rebecca Solnit. If not, please delete.
I just saw it on Facebook and it was too good not to share...

Rebecca Solnit
April 27 at 5:49pm ·
In which I give Donald Trump a woman card: Donaldina Trump's body and its countless shortcomings immediately become a subject of discussion and revilement, and everyone pities her for her psycho-cotton-candy hair and mocks her histrionic, twitchy, leering facial expressions. At almost 70 she's regarded as too old for almost everything, and her frequent references to sex, including inappropriate comments about her own child, are considered to disqualify her from holding any office, while her serial adultery and habits of constant interruption are frequently described as out of control. Men offer her lots of tips on tone of voice and how to speak into a microphone. Everyone wants to know why she is so angry. She is often called hysterical. Her extraordinarily high opinion of herself becomes grounds for everyone else's low opinion, and her total inexperience in politics is not overlooked. Her belligerence, boastfulness, and overconfidence become insurmountable liabilities, and she faces incarceration for her business antics, medication for her delusions of grandeur and inability to play well in a group, and total financial collapse as an empire built on branding herself as a bully disintegrates. Farewell Donaldina. America was not ready for its first orange lady president.

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