Glad My Dating Days are Done
Me, Myself and I in Old Age

A TGB Extra: Tech Support Fun

Darlene Costner emailed the following joke that had me laughing all day. Anyone who has ever had computer problems and relationship issues will get it. I suspect this one has been around the web for many years and you may have seen it in the past. Doesn't matter. It's still funny and it's still true on so many levels.


* * *

A young woman wrote to tech support and their reply is a stroke of genius. She wrote a letter as a joke and only remembered about it when she unexpectedly received their responding email.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail. What can I do?


Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!


Priceless! Thanks Darlene for sharing with Ronni who was nice enough to share it with TGB friends. Now, who should I share it with?

I just love people who are so clever with words and have a delightful sense of humor. Laughter is good for the soul.

Thank you Darlene and Ronni for this bright note...a great way to start the day. I'll be sure to share it.

don't print such sexist crap

I just KNEW some humorless troll would say something like that, msull. It sure didn't take you long.

No, I hadn't seen this before and it's delightful. Laughter is the only way to keep all this new technology from driving us bonkers.

I had not seen this before either, & I loved it! I love jokes & humor, & they help make life more pleasant. My heartiest thanks to Darlene for sharing, & to you for passing it on. I will be sure to share with my joke-loving friends.

I always look forward to reading your column. Keep up the good work.

The thing about this 'sexist crap' post is many people (a) know it is a joke, (b) notice something of their relationship(s) in the tale and (c) are aware it's a little sexist.

Comments such as 'don't print such sexist crap' do nothing to enlighten or persuade, merely judge/dismiss anyone who engages in the humour....

I'm coming out - I thought it was funny! And, who knows, perhaps someone, somewhere may recognise themselves in the tale, and change - precisely because it was said with humour and they did not feel criticised.

I inadvertently downloaded "Seniorcitizen 70", and now nothing works, but system clock is counting down from 12:00. Should I be worried.
I tried to re-install " twentysomething 19.70", but it keeps telling me my "Operating System is Outdated."

Sometimes people take things too literally. It is just a joke, for goodness sake. Lighten up, msull. If we can't laugh it would be a dismal world.

I thought it was clever and funny and, apparently, so did most others who read it. Thank you, Ronni, for sharing my day brightener.

It's just as funny now.

Loved it...really clever and funny. Some people have absolutely no sense of sad...their loss!

The post from Darlene is great fun, but I have to say that Bruce Coopers quickie come back took the cake...

I wish he would write a whole humorous reck manual about Senior Citizen 73.4, which is what I am running right now.

Elle in Beaverton..down after a day of running "Too lame to garden 73.4

I hate auto was supposed to be tech support but my auto correct thought I wanted reck support!


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