Surgery Tomorrow
Monday, 19 June 2017
The day has finally arrived. After all this upending of my life, worry and fear, the surgery will be done tomorrow morning.
You know how we old people often talk about how time speeds up as we grow older? It's a common phenomenon among all of us. Whole books have been written about it.
That changed suddenly when my pancreatic cancer was diagnosed on 31 May. In the 20 days since then, time has moved like mud. Sometimes, when I've checked the day's date, my reaction was, “Is that all? Really? I thought it was at least two days later.”
But now the big day is here. My friend Autumn, who is also my health care proxy, has arrived from New Jersey. She will drive me to the hospital in the morning and be here through most of this week.
I've set up templates for her on my blog platform so she can easily update you on how things are going. I don't know how long it will be until I can post again but I'm taking a laptop to the hospital just in case.
I have no idea if I am being overly optimistic about that but indulge me anyway, okay? And we'll see how it goes.
Whatever comes of this, it will be hard to ever thank you, dear readers, in any way that matches my feelings. Every one of you has my deeply-felt gratitude.
Your concern, love, thoughtfulness, ideas, jokes, suggestions and support have carried me through these scary weeks and now, apparently, as one of you commented a few days ago, it's going to be crowded in the operating room with all of you crammed in there to cheer me and the doctors on. Isn't that a wonderful image to hold?
See you back here as soon as I am able.
Hooray for Autumn, and, absolutely, be certain to take Crabby Old Lady with you!! I imagine she may be able to get to the laptop even when you can't . . . You have an enormous cheering section . . .
Posted by: Kate | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 10:51 AM
Thinking of you and sending healing light your way!
Posted by: Linda Smith | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 10:52 AM
Know that tomorrow morning as you undergo surgery that hundreds -maybe thousands of your friends and blog fans are holding their collect breath and wishing you the best possible outcome. I will be thinking of you and sending you my warmest thoughts.
We all await news of your recovery and hope it is swift (although as we age the only thing that passes quickly is time - healing takes longer) .
I wish I lived in Portland, OR so that I could be a actual help during your recovery but I live on the east coast. Accept all offers of help that come your way - and may they be plentiful. Peace be with you.
Posted by: Mary | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 10:54 AM
Best wishes for success and speedy recovery. I hope you are able to post from the hospital. If not, I hope your proxy will tell us nothing but good news. I have great appreciation for what you have accomplished with this blog. Many hugs to you for courage.
Posted by: Annie | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 10:57 AM
My thoughts and good energy , all the way from Portugal.
I expect to hear from you soon!
Conceição
Posted by: Conceição Brito - Portugal | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 10:58 AM
Love and best wishes sent your way today, tomorrow and everyday until you're back on your feet and back in contact with us again. Thank you Autumn for being there.
Estelle
Posted by: Estelle D | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:01 AM
Ronni: That loving 'squeeze' on your hands comes from all of us, - - your 'peeps'. We're with you and your medical team in our thoughts and in spirit.
Posted by: Tim | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:02 AM
prayers and hope for a peaceful outcome. Many are walking with you
Posted by: Marcia Hill | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:04 AM
As usual, I'm late to the comments. Still, my Best Wishes are just as heartfelt as those of the Larks who posted at 5:00 A.M. May all go well tomorrow, and I'll be looking forward to Autumn's first post-op post. So glad she's there.
Posted by: Elizabeth Rogers | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:08 AM
My thoughts and prayers are added to the list. May tomorrow bring you the best of news. I'm so happy Autumn will be there for you and will up date us. Be well soon.
Posted by: Patti Kelly | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:12 AM
Wishing you the best!
Posted by: Camla | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:13 AM
While you are recovering, I will miss your missives of humor, care, intelligence, passion, and insight. My thoughts are with you, Ronni. Be well!
Posted by: Shirley Thompson | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:14 AM
Good luck to you. Blessings headed your way.
Posted by: Jim Cotter | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:20 AM
You go, girl! You've got this.
Posted by: Heidi | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:39 AM
And, one of my favorite jokies:
A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to the man and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
The man replied, “Just doing what you said Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful.”
Posted by: Heidi | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:42 AM
In your corner all the way on this and every day.
Posted by: Brian Long | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:51 AM
Ronni, I cross-posted your June 16 column onto my Facebook page, and there are people across the country - friends of mine - who are praying for you. I know you are frightened; I am frightened for you. But medical science has made strides in the last 9 years since my last brush with this insidious disease and I have every faith that you will come through this ordeal with flying colors. I seldom pray, given my own lack of religiosity, but I am praying for you. {{{hugs}}}
Posted by: Nancy Laird | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:51 AM
Bless you, Ronni! I am so grateful for you & your blog! Prayers!
Posted by: NatashaM. | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:55 AM
My thoughts are with you....much positive energy from all your friends here, I'm sure.
Posted by: Mary | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 12:02 PM
And this too shall pass and you will be back with us stronger than ever! Sending love and best wishes...Judy
Posted by: Judy | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 12:13 PM
Count me in on all the sentiments already given, and thank you, Ronni, for planning ahead to include us in updates from Autumn. We look forward to your updates, Autumn. Thank you for being there for our Ronni.
Posted by: Norma | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 12:35 PM
My thoughts and prayers will be with you, Ronni.
Posted by: la peregrina | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 01:04 PM
Hoping you are able to quell your fears and get a good night's sleep tonight. I'm one more who will be thinking of you all day tomorrow, dear Ronni. I wish I could squeeze your hand and tell you what I believe: All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
Posted by: Patty-in-New-York | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 01:06 PM
Ronni, perhaps it's a good thing that most of us live too far away to visit or to be there physically. Imagine the crowd in the waiting room bugging everyone who "looks" official for updates! You are that loved. We would be there in droves. Instead, Autumn will be there in person and the rest of us will be there spiritually, prayerfully, mindfully, meditatively, or in whatever form our belief system takes us. WE WILL BE THERE!!
When my dad had quintuple bypass surgery in the early 1980s, he said afterward that there was a feeling of a "light" or guiding presence in the OR with the surgeons and staff and him. May there be they same with you.
Sending my love and good thoughts your way.
Posted by: Beth Backus | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 01:10 PM
All of my very best wishes and prayers
Posted by: Tory | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 01:21 PM
Hang in there! Can't wait to read your and Crabby Old Lady's observations on this experience once it's all behind you. Glad your friend, Autumn, will be with you and able to convey your progress on TGB site. Patience...........immerse yourself in the healing love and caring coming your way.
Posted by: Joared | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 01:43 PM
You can never have too many well wishers. I pray for a speedy recovery and a turn in a positive direction to this horrific disease. May everyone who comes in contact with you give you everything you need for the best outcome ever.
Posted by: Kathy | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 01:44 PM
With all of us praying for you, things are SURE to be all right, Ronni!
I'm glad someone will be updating us as to how you're doing. Sending you good thoughts and vibes from North Central PA!
Posted by: Bobbie Gordner | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 02:11 PM
Another voice in your "crowd" sending warm wishes for surgical success tomorrow and a speedy recovery to follow. Many thanks for your wonderful blog and generous spirit, and for Autumn to be at your side.
Posted by: Sandra J | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 02:20 PM
"I'll be elbowing the nurses in the OR tomorrow, since I'm too big to hover over them. It will indeed be a crowded room with all of us in there. And quite a procession as we all traipse back to your room with you."
Thanks for that great image, Pied Type. Just visualizing hundreds or possibly thousands of us weathered and scarred elders in various states of lumpiness (speaking for myself), hovering over and around Ronni, like so many eccentric angels.
If love can help carry you through this Ronni, you've got it covered for sure. Adding mine to that crammed OR and subsequent recovery room.
And so glad Autumn is there for you and Ollie.
Love, Katie
Posted by: Katie | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 02:31 PM
So glad you, or your friend, will be updating! Your surgery has been on MY calendar since you told us when, and you remain in my heart.
Posted by: janinsanfran | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 02:38 PM
My thoughts are with you as you move forward and I am sure you are comforted by all of the good wishes of your many followers. I look forward to reading that you are on the road to a full recovery
Posted by: Royce Shook | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 02:43 PM
I am late to this news, and I join all of your fantastic cheer team in sending my love and good thoughts for your coming surgery and recovery. I have a personal mojo priestess in Nawlins that is going to do a special ceremony just for you! (Well, does kissing a chicken foot and saying magical healing words count?) We'll all be here waiting for you!
Love,
Pattie
Posted by: Cowtown Pattie | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 02:48 PM
Sending you love and hugs, Ronni, for a good outcome, and fast and easy healing.
Posted by: Sheila Fuesting | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 03:12 PM
Hah! I just have visions of us all crowded around your hospital bed. Good luck. You got this!
Posted by: Jen | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 03:19 PM
Will be thinking about you and hoping all goes well tomorrow, Ronni.
Posted by: Cindy | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 04:07 PM
All the best Ronni, and we hope to have you back on air with us when you feel well enough! I love the image of everyone crowded into the OR, but I confess I'll be waiting outside with dkzody.
And welcome Autumn, to Team Ronni. We'll be doing our best to telepathically support you too as you see Ronni through this.
And of course, thanks to Ronni's friends and neighbours from those of us too far way to help with day-to-day stuff.
Posted by: Norma, the A.M. | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 04:38 PM
Wishing you all the best for a very speedy recovery. Lots of good vibes are being sent your way.
Posted by: Linda (in Maryland) | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 06:12 PM
Better be a BIG operating room. See you there!
Posted by: Charlotte Dahl | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 06:18 PM
My very best wishes for a speedy recovery. I have been reading your blog regularly since 2009. I will miss you!
Regards,
Leze
Posted by: Leze | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 06:21 PM
Hi Ronni! I've loved you and your incredible insightful comments for quite some time now. I just wanted to let you know my plan (I scanned as many comments as I could and didn't see this mentioned).
You may or may not know of Braco, a Croatian man who does what is called gazing. He does this through both live visits with groups of people (thousands) and also through live streaming via TV. As it so happens, he will be doing the TV gazing Tues, Wed, and Thurs of this week (a total of 7 per day), and I will be tuned in for this. In addition to myself, my family and pets, I will be including you in the gazes I do with Braco. He does not claim to be any type of healer, and of course there is no guarantee of what results people may or may not receive. He is not a doctor either, although doctors from different countries do present segments regarding him and what he does. Many people have reported amazing things happening to them and for them as a result of his gazes. He has visited at least 41 cities in 21 states in the US and many countries all over the world. The website address is Braco.me or Braco-TV.me to go directly to the gazing site. I'm including this info for anyone else who might be interested.
Much Love and Many Blessings to you.
Posted by: Marlene | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 07:21 PM
Best wishes for a speedy recovery; you have a lot of folks here "pulling" for you.
Posted by: Ray | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 07:28 PM
Hope your surgeon realizes it's not just you Ronni but a whole community of readers who are relying on him or her for a successful outcome. So many hopes and prayers for a cure and full recovery are with you now and in the days to come. We all look forward to your return to TGB.
Posted by: ag | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 07:34 PM
Like the others, I will be thinking of you and sending good thoughts.
Posted by: Nan | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 07:45 PM
Sending love, positive thoughts and prayers, and I will be crowding into that OR with everyone else cheering on you and your surgery team. I am so happy and relieved your friend Autumn will be with you this next week. What a good pal.
I'll be thinking of you all day , and hope you feel all the positive energy. Priscilla said it well, "How much you mean to everyone! Our turn to give back and support you."
All good wishes,
annie
Posted by: annie | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 07:57 PM
Late to this tonight, but it is much earlier where you are, so perhaps you will still see this,before you're off to the hospital. I hope so, but regardless, you've done a great job of getting all your ducks in a row and you are certainly going into this with tons of positive energies being sent in your direction. Good wishes, warm thoughts and healing vibes being sent from Illinois. All the best to you, Ronni, and thank you to Autumn for being there for you and for us.
Godspeed for a rapid return to health!
Posted by: Cathy Johnson | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 08:54 PM
My prayers are with you for tomorrow morning and for a good outcome and recovery. You are such a strong and inspirational person and I have enjoyed your blog for years. I love your spunk and ability to say what needs to be said. Speedy recovery!
Posted by: Ingrid Sheets | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 09:03 PM
Dear Ronni, whenever you feel scared or lonely during this journey, just remember all of us who are pulling for you, holding your hand, appreciating all of the great information, humor, and heart that you bring into our lives every week. You have the great gift of making us feel like you are our dear friend. We are fortunate indeed. xoxo
Posted by: Elissa Rabellino | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 10:35 PM
All the best for you today, dear Ronni. We are thinking of you and sending good energy and wishes.
The Fab Four of Cley,
Dina
Posted by: Hanne | Monday, 19 June 2017 at 11:14 PM
Best of luck tomorrow and in the coming months, Ronni. And many thanks for what you uniquely provide to us old farts and fartettes...so please get your butt back behind that keyboard as soon as you feel up to it!
Posted by: Dave Koehn | Tuesday, 20 June 2017 at 12:36 AM
Our thoughts are with you Ronni. You are an inspiration to us all. Good luck for tomorrow.
Posted by: Ann Shaw | Tuesday, 20 June 2017 at 01:32 AM
All the best Ronni. You are in our prayers. MM
Posted by: Marjorie Miller | Tuesday, 20 June 2017 at 02:54 AM
It has been many years since I have written here, but I did want to let you know another anonymous person who is just "up the street" in Seattle is sending many good wishes your way today and holding you close in mind and heart as you begin this healing journey. I just learned about your health issue and realize you must have traveled through a lot of anxiety and fear over the past few weeks. Sending you the image of brave slippers to wear which will carry you through the challenges ahead. You are special to so many and your groupies are all cheering you on. <3
Posted by: Sky | Tuesday, 20 June 2017 at 04:21 AM
you are a blessing in the lives of all of us who read your blog. we all send you our prayers and best healing thoughts.
Posted by: Dara Salk | Tuesday, 20 June 2017 at 10:33 AM
Praying for you to have a successful operation - God be with you - my husband is currently receiving treatment for cancer - we are blessed to have such wonderful medical care these days. I am sure you will be well taken care of.
Posted by: Mary Ellen | Tuesday, 20 June 2017 at 04:33 PM
I hope our positive thoughts and love reached you today. Wishing you a quick and full recovery.
Posted by: Joyce | Tuesday, 20 June 2017 at 06:29 PM
“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh
Posted by: Nomdeplume | Wednesday, 21 June 2017 at 05:44 AM
Hello Ronnie.
On Sunday in Peru I was part of an ancient Inca ceremony dedicated to Mother Earth, from whom all blessings in our lives are provided. Part of the ceremony involves taking three (just three, no more no less) cocoa leaves, meditating and making solemn hopes while holding them and then giving three puffs of breath on them to speed the thoughts to Mother Earth. Your name was part of my meditation and I hope the sweet breath of promise reaches you and helps you on your difficult path.
Karen
Posted by: Karen | Wednesday, 21 June 2017 at 02:09 PM
Sending prayers for an easy and complete recovery. Your voice has made important contributions to so many lives. Phyllis
Posted by: Phyllis Mitzen | Friday, 23 June 2017 at 08:05 AM