I can really relate to this subject. June of 2016, I was rear-ended while stopped at a red light and ended up in the hospital 5 days. I was able to get up to go to the bathroom but when I had a bowel movement, was unable to wipe myself. Most of those days I had a male attendant so I just told myself to put my modesty aside and had him wipe me.

When I got home, my son came to care for me (for 6 weeks until my daughter who had hurt her back, was able to take over). My son had to help me get dressed including get my panties on over my feet and put on socks. He said it was no different than when he dressed his grandkids.

Since then, I have the same problem about urgency as mentioned in this post. When I get the first indication I have to head for the bathroom immediately whether it's pee or poop. I've learned the hard way that finishing that sentence isn't the wise thing to do.

Doesn’t everyone pee in the shower?? When I feel a sneeze coming...I need to prepare my body...so I won’t pee. When I am with my friends, I say loudly...prepare to sneeze....and everyone laughs....they know exactly what I mean. Far more comfy with pee than poo!

The manufacturers of those mini-trampolines claim that using them is better for incontinence muscles than Kegels. I asked a friend who is a natural healing guru and she says it's true. She says you don't need to jump on them, just bounce up and down without even moving your feet.

I don't know if it's true, but I had one gathering dust in my garage, so I just brought it in and put it by the TV. I figure it's worth a try for 5-10 minutes a night. I would love to avoid/delay my mother's fate. She was in diapers for the last 10 years of her life, which caused her to stop traveling to visit grandkids.

I had a 15 foot fall about 20 years ago (I’m 75) and in the resulting recovery, had a catheter for 2 weeks, which the visiting nurse pulled out immediately, saying I would have problems with incontinence when I was older. She was right. Sometimes it is worse than other times, but in the morning especially, I stay near the bathroom. I can cross my legs in public and often make it, but saying to myself “you will NOT leak” is useless. I do the exercise when I think of it, like now, and I stay active, but this problem is not going away. Another of the aging things we seem to share. Yippee.

It was with a huge sigh of relief that I waved goodbye to sanitary napkins along with all their paraphernalia many years ago.

It was with a huge sigh of relief that I welcomed them again - thankfully with far less paraphernalia - a few years ago.

'nuff said.

There are pilates classes that specialize in strengthening the pelvic floor. Our class also has learnd about different ways to go to the bathroom to make things flow better. I had an operation through my stomach in my late 30’s and am a good candidate for leakage as time goes by. My physiotherapist recommends these pilates classes rather than kegels, although I personally believe everything helps. (Both my parents suffered from the indignities of fecal incontinence and it is very unpleasant and humiliating.)

Oh and: anyone caught short on a long journey in a car, get one of those thingies for women. Men have their bottles, so much easier, but they do a good design for women too. Also, the front and rear doors can also be opened and squat in between. At the end of the day, when you're desperate, you're desperate.

Cutting back on caffeine definitely helps. I've also found that using the bathroom leaving a restaurant or stopping at a public bathroom in a park before walking home also helps a lot.

My husband and I resorted to the extreme several years ago. As two old people living in Seattle who love Starbucks and had only one bathroom, we hired a contractor to add a second bathroom. It wasn't cheap, but it fixed the one bathroom issue and increased the value of our house.

All the women in my family have incontinent issues which start in our 50's. My mom has had problems for a long time and refused to deal with it and now at 95 it is not pleasant for her. So I had a bladder fix about 5 years ago and it really made a big difference. I have gone from wearing an overnight pad all day to just a panty liner just in case. Of course my husband has his prostrate issues so we know where all the Starbucks and McDonalds are when we travel any distance by car.

As usual a great topic and wonderful comments

Fabulous to know I have so much company! At 80, I've finally started wearing a pad all day every day. Not amused, but--even just reading over all these comments--it could be so much worse! (Just think--what did the elderly do before the advent of even the earliest sanitary pads??)

Once upon a time my mom was gifted with a mini trampoline.

She was in her eighties at the time.

In other words- a senior.

Mom was all excited about that mini trampoline.

Sounds cool so far, right? Wrong! Mom jumped on the thing, got dizzy and decided she'd rather walk than jump.

Guess who she called?

Ghostbusters?

Nope.

Yours truly.

I raced over, walked in and there it was.

Mom said "go ahead, jump on it."

Ok.

Looking back, I think it was a set up. Mom knows darn well what happens to me when I laugh TOO HARD.

Which us what happened. One look at mom watching me bounce up and down like a drunken pinball, well, that was it.

The more I jumped, the more I laughed.

"BOING BADINGGGG HEE HEE BOING PING HEEE HAW BOING HEEEEEEEE STOP HEEEEEEE HEEEEE MOM QUIT MAKING ME LAUGH HAW HAW HEEEEE HAAAAA."

"Oh
Nooo."

I don't know what happened to the thing.

Yes I call it "The Thing."

Mom never mentioned it.

Stuff like this usually ends up in mom's garage.

"In case someone wants it."

But the mini trampoline disappeared like a fart in a tornado.

I should ask mom about it, but you know exactly what will happen if we get on that subject.

The shower? What’s the shower suggestion?
I read all the comments too, in case one of your other readers knew about that fix.

I’ll keep reading. Thanks!

So glad of this post as of now with a terrible coughing cold I'm a mess. I usually wear washable pads that I bought on line, they last for years and pay for themselves over and over and ENVIRONMENT. But at night I wear those huge ungodlies (Walmart) incontinence pads. But they protect the bedding.

Question: I was in the incontinence section of my drugstore today -there is such a thing and it gives me hope for us all - and I spied tampon like things that are inserted into the vagina to alleviate the problem. Has anyone tried these?

XO
WWW

I became used to the language associated with all bathroom body functions when I had my first child. Those actions, describing them, etc. were a primary focus with the newborn and when they were little. I learned monitoring them for health’s sake was important as it is for us, all our lives., though I recalled my mother stressing that to me as a child. I just didn’t allow myself to think, “This is yucky, disgusting.” — a language mindset to keep me from becoming nauseated with some of the most gross excretions.

Years later when I began working in medical settings, primarily with adults of all ages, my exposure to and use of language for body parts, functions, descriptive terms became greatly expanded. The language became as ordinary as saying, “I have a hang nail.” Jokes were even made to lessen the tension after the fact and out of earshot of others who might not understand the levity at serious times.

I noticed that some patients often became so relieved at being in a setting where it was not only acceptable but desirable to report, describe and discuss all their most intimate body functions with any non-judgmental lab coat-wearing staff that they freely did so seeking solutions to their problems. Some often injected humor into their accounts making the whole business more comfortable for them.

Pads for leakage have finally become readily available in stores. There shouldn’t be any embarrassment in purchasing them, as there once was with sanitary napkins, but I noticed a TV ad the other day promoting the need for secrecy in their pitch to sell their product. Leakage isn’t always an age related problem. So, some of us leak sometimes — we can do something about it, use pads, or whatever — just like I use a tissue when my nose congestion runs.

Unfortunately, some people experience the opposite of incontinence as did one of my family loved ones. Other medical issues prevented her from surgery to correct the problem. With her bladder not fully emptying she became subjected to constant urinary tract infections (UTI) and finally had to use catheters constantly.

Incontinence is the single worst problem I have as I finish my 80th decade. I have high blood pressure and kidney problems, but incontinence is the one thing that affects my quality of life.

I first experienced it when I was in my thirties - doing the Mexican Hat Dance during a night of exuberance. It's no laughing matter now, though. It keeps me from traveling - how many days pads can I pack and will they actually last through the entire trip. I even dread going to see my son and his family. (I think if I had a daughter it would be easier.) I take a couple of platic trash bags to hold the pads and try to sneak them out to the trash before I leave.

It's depressing.

One of the worst aspects of Alzheimer's disease is incontinence, first urinary and then the other. The person has no awareness and their caregiver gets to clean up as long as they can stand it. Then $10,000/month cash for so-called "Memory Care" where someone else gets to do this for a floor filled with similar cases. As long as you are aware of the problem, you are ahead of several curves.

Genetic hypermobility issues, where the tissues are very stretchy, can be both a blessing and a curse. Three quick, almost pain-free births were the blessing for me, now my bladder has breached the wall of my vagina and is peeping out saying; "Hello Sunshine!" or at least "Hello World," as there's little chance of sunshine down there. And with it has come what I call "Bi-Polar Aggravation Syndrome", which is both incontinence and/or the need to pee so bad I'm going to pop and *can't* because the full bladder is wedged against my urethra, preventing the urine from escaping. The cure for the latter is gloving up in surgical gloves and lifting my bladder off my urethra. So fun.

But a very funny story happened to us on a trip many years ago. We were driving across West Texas when a sudden illness made us seek help at an ER in a small town. We were there three or four hours, the only people they'd seen all day and talked and talked. They'd never met Canadians for one things, so we talked health care systems, meds until lab tests came back, antibiotic was prescribed and it was deemed our little one was safe to go.

One of the nurses, surprisingly (and beautifully for a tiny Texas town in 1984) was an openly gay male, and obviously loved by the staff who worked with him. I only mention he was gay because you have to imagine that he told this story with such an exuberant flamboyance that it was not just a story but a performance none of us will ever forget! He was the most compassionate and sweet caregiver with our little one, who was very ill, but none of us, even the five-year-old, have ever forgotten his "pee" story.

With a deeeep drawl this nurse described how he took his "water pill" just before he left work every day at 4:30, and then the drove 80 miles to an adjacent town where he lived. But he said he'd get about half way home and his pill would start to work and he'd need to "go tinkle". "There's not a bush or a tree or a clump of long grass between here and home," he said. "Not a single place you can get out of your car and take a wee. But," he went on, "I have worked out the perfect plan. I pull off the side of the road, put my hazards on, then I put my hood up. I stand real close to the car - and I just let my radiator boil over!"

We laughed until we were all in tears and then we laughed some more. <3 I think we all hugged and kissed everyone in that ER as we left. What a wonderful bunch of people.

WWW - The tampon things are for stress incontinence, so if you wee when you laugh or sneeze they might be useful. If you're a dribbler it's unlikely they'd help. They come in different sizes, as we come in different sizes, but there's a starter pack which has all the different sizes. You start with the smallest and work your way up. Walmart carries them, in the aisle with incontinence products.

As for peeing in the shower. Urine is sterile unless you have an infection. If you pee on your legs, wash it off and be done with it. Unless you have spent your life squatting, like African women, Continental Indians, and women in associated cultures, few of us are capable of squatting at 70-80. Don't start trying now unless you are under the tutelage of a professional physiotherapist after having been assessed by your FP. I have trouble with my hip dislocating when I walk too far!