Author: Fritz Kreisler
THE OLD REFRAIN
I often think of home Dee-ol-ee-ay
When I am all alone and far away;
I sing an old refrain, dee-ol-ee-ay
For it recalls to me a bygone day
It takes me back again to meadows fair
Where sunlight's golden rays beam everywhere

My childhood joys again come back to me
My mother's face in fancy too I see
It was my mother taught me how to sing
And to that memory my heart will cling
I'm never sad and alone while on my way
As long as I can sing Dee-ol-ee-ay

Though years have passed and gone, dee-ol-ee-ay
And though my heart is young my head is grey.
Yet still the echoes ring, dee-ol-ee-ay
And dear old memories forever stay.
This song will bring me visions full of light
And sweetest dreams throughout the darkest night

Of all that life can give, that song is best
I'll take it with me when I go to rest
And when at last my journey here is o'er
'Twill ring more joyfully than e'er before
For up to heavens I will take my lay
The angels, too, will sing dee-ol-ee-ay

Sorry you were in the hospital, but that beats the morgue! Here’s to continued life, even with the trials and tribulations of aging. There is joy in it too!

If it isn't one thing, it's another!

Glad you are back, Ronni, and even more pleased
that you have such good medical resources nearby.

Responding to your open forum day:

If there's one thing I have learned in old age, is that
it is necessary to adapt!

Adapt is my new favorite word, and mantra.

I am relieved to hear that you are okay, but I do hope this is the last internal bleed you have to go through. I am sure it is not the piece of cake you make it out to be.

My daughter had to give herself injections in the abdomen and she had to grit her teeth before plunging the needle in. I hope your injections are easier to do.

I was also missing for a couple of days, but it was for a nice time. I had a pleasant visitor over the weekend and, much to my surprise, I felt better then than when I am alone. Is there a message there? I find that I have more energy when I am doing something enjoyable.

Take care and eat your liver and onions if you like that dish. No more bleeds, please.

I am a newcomer here and so thankful to have found you, Ronnie, and all of your 'responders'.
What is helpful as we age? Since you ask....now that I have a new 'touchy-feely' relationship with a very helpful walker I know that it is only 3rd in my real list of what has helped the most as I have shuffled into the 80s when one's body seems to take on a life of its own without even consulting me.

Primary for me are only two. Attitude and a sense of humor, and even those two change positions periodically. They are more important than appearances or what other people think or do. Remarkably, I have a choice every day what that attitude will be. I cannot change the past nor the inevitable, so I attempt to play my tune on the one string I have, my own attitude. 'Most' of the time it will change the quality of the new day for me, regardless of new bends in the road.

Thank you all for the generous sharing of insight and information you offer. I truly value it. Charlene

Wishing you a healing weekend, and glad to see there are friends posting to you, and that we have you to share our lives. I so enjoy the video of you and your ex. shmoozing, and that I got to see you speak as well as just write. I googled Terry Gross, and listened to her as well as got to see her, and that was interesting, she sounds different when you see her for some reason.

I loved Charlene's post--she is a welcome addition. I wish I had time to respond every day--I do in my mind, but, at 85 I still keep up a busy schedule of singing (4-5 open mics a month, plus weekly rehearsals & concerts with a choral group), and 2 writing groups, 1 of which I lead. Then there are the daily photo forays to post daily on FB. Everything takes longer and tires me more to do, but it also energizes me. I could do without the 4-5 doc appointments a month, but maybe that's why I'm still here, having outlived all but one of my ancestors, and, sadly, many of my friends. And of those left, many now have dementia. I count my blessings every day. Good luck, Ronnie--I gave myself injections daily for many years--it will become routine and easy.

Ronni, I'm so sorry you went through this, but also happy to hear you're okay and home.

I'd like to hear about elders and exhaustion. Over the past year, sleep has become very elusive, and despite good advice from herbalists and docs, meditation, lots of exercise, no screens before bed, ETC, the situation persists. For now a coping strategy is to take a nap each day, whenever possible. Not only is my capability to function impaired by the tiredness, it's also more difficult to keep a positive attitude. Would love to hear how others deal with this.

Thanks for keeping us informed.

I'm appreciating all the comments. This week I've been dealing with a very sick and very loved dog, a friend who is suffering, and other disappointments. I swing back and forth between believing I should keep a positive attitude and thinking maybe it's best to actually experience the pain so I can then move through it.
Ronni - Thanks for your posts, sending all good thoughts your way.
Patricia

Charlene, Welcome to this fun group that our fearless leader, Ronnie has created. You are a good addition and yes, attitude gives us perhaps sometimes the only power we can have as we head down the path of aging. It is not easy and that is a British understatement. Hard for me is not only the management of my own ills but how hard and sad it is to see those I love struggling with serious health problems, on the magnitude of what you have faced, Ronnie. Keeping compassionate and at the same time keeping my attitude upbeat is my challenge and the best way I can help my dear friends. Again, not easy at all and who said that life is? Cheers to all and Ronnie, take your pause and recoup.

Re: Self administered injections--sense of humor dept.
When the Dr. told me 40 years ago I could come in and his fine nurse would do the IM B12 I would need every week due to pernicious anemia for a mere $25. We were building our own house $25 at time and I decided I could do it myself. The young man's comment makes me smile still..."Well, you're a better man than me!!"
Just think of the shear time you save doing it at home, Ronnie. Our time is clearly finite coinage at this end of the pike and I want to be careful how I spend it.

So glad you are ok Ronni. I suspected trouble with the bleeding.

Last night, I dreamed an old friend who has Alzheimer's called me and was herself again. It's the same dream I used to have about my mother, who'd had a disabling stroke. Tomorrow, I'm driving down to Olympia (about an hour from Seattle) with two friends to visit a friend who's dying.

In some ways, I'm able to settle into being an old woman and enjoy a relaxation of demands on myself. I don't know how to elaborate on this except to say I've stopped excoriating myself for not being as disciplined as I think I should be. Dammit! I get tired. Having just turned 78, maybe I should accept this and live at the tempo I can manage. I have to say I do have some survivor guilt these days, not only because of what's happening to friends, but also watching news stories of ruined cities in Syria, of Rohinga women in Bangladesh. I find myself wondering how I get to hang on peacefully in this world.

Hey, just because I sometimes have trouble remembering what day it is doesn't mean you weren't missed. It just means ... umm ... I'm getting older too. Sorry to hear you are getting so well acquainted with the inside of that hospital. Tell that plumber of yours that further leaks are not acceptable.

Being 71 and still in good health and also a widow of 5 years, I find I'm really enjoying getting older and being free to do as I please when I please. I feel I have, after all these years, finally become "me." I keep busy, mostly doing my favorite three things-

Eating out with friends with wine, of course-gardening (landscaping) in my little patch of ground- and reading books, articles, blogs...food for the mind.

I feel at peace even though there are times I get a little lonely. I have no children, but do have a kitty I share with my SIL.

enjoy each day because you never know when it can turn in an instance.

PS..another great tv show that features an older woman is "Vera" about an older women detective. It's great!

Thanks, Ronni for being so open with all of us. Glad you are upbeat about the tribulations of this week.

Have recently been trying to come to grips with pain issues, old and new. After today's appointment I have agreed to try some new meds. I need to do something, but mostly I am angry that I may be having to settle with limitations I am just not ready to accept. Times like these I always have to remind myself that I can look not far at all to know others have it so much worse. With it all I am so very fortunate.

So on we go and look for something funny. I recently sent a friend recovering from surgery the link to images of old Gary Larsen cartoons. Out of respect to your request not to include links, it is easy to find simply by Googling "Images of Gary Larsen cartoons." His humor can be odd, but he gets me laughing out loud now and then.

Cheers and take care.

For sure, your new skill does not sound like the proverbial "piece of cake" but I'm glad you're home with Ollie the Cat. Not sure I could master self-injections but hope I could if I had to. I've always been a bit squeamish about medical procedures, which is probably not a good thing for an old person.

As far as old age is concerned, it is what it is, but one thing I can say at least for myself: 81 is absolutely NOT the new 61! There's a world of difference between physical functioning at 61--even 71--and now. Longevity is definitely a mixed bag.

I expect you would agree that it isn't so bad growing old except for that treacherous body that keeps reminding you that you are no longer 40, or whatever your peak age was! Glad you have won that battle so far and hope you continue to prevail for some time to come.

At 75, I find I can do most of what I want just in shorter bursts. No longer possible to get into berserker mode and work until it is done. Not if I want to move the next day! And since I still have an endless bucket list, that can create anxiety. When that happens, I remember the words of my beloved and very wise grandfather who said, when asked what it was like to know you are going to die in the immediate future (He had been diagnosed with terminal, metastasized cancer), that he had known, being in his 80s that he would die sooner rather than later but knowing sooner gave him the opportunity to prepare. And then he said the words that changed my life: "You know, I've had the opportunity to do many things in my life and I still have some left over. I think that's a good place to leave it!" A much better place than the sad, old people sitting around limiting themselves by definition and waiting what could be a good, long while to die!

Ahhh, it all sounds so familiar. At 78 I too have had to hire someone to weed my big yard full of lovely drought tolerant plants because the weeds like to keep joining the party.
I do find though when I bend and stoop to pull weeds the next day my arthritis is much in the background, not painful like when I sit around. I am not supposed to kneel after repair for torn meniscus last year so I have a little kids' chair I carry with me to weed when bending won't work.

I do love to cut bouquets of roses, and also to plant things, and give away cuttings to my friends....I feel grateful for my many blessings: my husband, and the good health we both enjoy, and just enough , small house, sufficient income .

Three years ago I started taking art classes and it has been wonderful to exercise that creative part of me. The teacher comes along when we need the lesson, right ? But we have to sign up and show up .

Yes, attitude is everything....rest and get better Ronni.
P.S. I gave my diabetic cat insulin injections morning and night for 3 years before I lost him....it was easy after the first few practise ones.

When you didn’t post, given your dedicated self-prescribed schedule here, I figured you must have had another medical adventure. Anticipated we’d hear sooner or later about this latest escapade. Glad the event could be short-lived. When I think of all the inner connections, some of minute size, it’s not surprising leaks might occur here or there after repairs, especially once we begin to subject our new revised mechanical system to the rigors of our lifestyles. I can’t speak to the rigors of self-administering injections, but expect we do what we have to do and that just begins to be incorporated into our daily life activities.

I think one of the most challenging aging aspects for me has been pacing. I seem must less able to count on what or how much I can accomplish from one day to the next. I may plan certain tasks but have reconciled myself to not always completing them, or sometimes unpredictably even being able to undertake them. C’est le vie! becomes my mantra on such occasions and I don’t feel guilty or adversely stressed over these thwarted best laid plans ala Robert Burns “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley.”

Glad to see you back.
Old? The big lesson of the week is to keep moving even if you don't do it well. I can't walk very far on land, but I can go a good distance in the water. After a hiatus, I'm back in the water again here knowing each haitus has to be a short one.

Three cheers for the cheerleaders among us. Much of the time, I'm still on board. But sometimes my (formerly highly disciplined) self just is no longer motivated to "keep moving". I've reached the point at 81 where the ability (and/or money) to do many of the activities I once enjoyed are in dwindling supply. I used to enjoy my job, also gardening, decorating and shopping, among other things. I was able to donate to causes I support, political and otherwise. Now? Not so much.

I was employed up until 3+ years ago when I became involuntarily retired. I still volunteer and try to walk daily. I do household chores, grocery shopping and cat care, but turning 80 was a BIG change for me--and not in a direction I find reason to celebrate. Guess I'm the UN-Pollyanna old person of the week!

I'd like to heartily second Cathy's thanks. I really appreciate having a source of wisdom about growing older.

The best thing , for me, about being older is the freedom to use my time.
I'm still healthy (72), I have family and friends, I have the means to live a confortable life, I can do mostly as I please, when I please, within my financial means.
I often tell my younger gerontologist colleagues that older people are just like them, only older. We are , hopefully, able to separate the important things from trivia because we've lived miles of life. But deep down we don't change that much
Retirement has proved to be even better than I thought. I loved my work and career, but I love the freedom to choose what I do every day or week, or month.
Thank you Ronni for this forum. Keep getting better!