Golly, you've hit the nail on the head when it comes to all those above the neck irritations! One you omitted was aging skin on the face--sagging, lesions, pre-cancers and cancers. Would like to know more about that "sound bar" for clarifying TV dialogue as am not famliar with it.

Hearing: 1) For at least the past 20 years, I have gone to no public event without my ear plugs - just plain old ear plugs. (They were perhaps $5-$10/pair and have, so far, lasted for that 20 year span). To modulate the amount of muffling that is needed, I can pull each plug out a bit or push it in a bit further. For me, high soprano outputs are excruciating as they are amplified by most sound systems. 2) TV closed captioning helps catch the occasional word that isn't clearly audible. I keep cc on about 99% of the time. This is especially helpful in understanding those who, to me, have an accent.

I have hearing loss which was straining my ability to interface with my family and the world in general. Hearing loss is no joke! It cuts us off from the world and can lead to diminished mental capacity. No one would think twice about correcting a loss of vision but loss of hearing is brushed off as a mild inconvenience not important enough to correct. There are many less expensive options for hearing correction.

My hearing amplifiers changed my life!
Now I will get down from my soap box. Thanks for a funny and oh-so-true post!

I've carried earplugs with me for years now. Good news about the soundbar. I'm going to look for one.

Since basel cell cancers run in our family, face and scalp, I spend quite a bit of time applying sunscreen to my face (so far the main site of the problem) and reapplying it. And wear hats outside all summer. Got handy, dandy little shaver online shaped to disappear those nose hairs.

You forgot about ear hair. I think I have it but since I can’t see it from any angle, I’ve just grown my hair long!

Oh la, aren't we a mess! Now, a note on the word "mess." In the south, where I have lived for 34 years, the word "mess" can mean cute like a baby, or a tangled up situation of any kind. My little dog often is told, "Now look at you, aren't you a mess???" And this above the neck situation is a different kind of mess. It's a mess of time, a mess of little tools always in the wrong place, a mess of coming to terms with unhelpful vanity, it's a MESS! My mother, when she was elderly and preparing for an event, would fume, "I'm exhausted before I leave my front door!"

Hee hee. Funny and sadly ironic -- all at the same time! You nailed it--once again. I've started viewing myself as a much-loved but aging car that simply needs more maintenance to keep it on the road and safe for the public. And often (but certainly not always) I give a little nod of gratitude that I've been road-worthy for such a long time. So far, I've enjoyed the ride--and even some of the more challenging detours!

I can add an above the neck complaint: my voice isn't what it used to be. Some days it's okay, but I made a business call this morning and all that came out of my mouth was a series of noises when I got someone on the phone.

Currently waiting for cataract surgery, can't hear worth a darn, losing my hair for no perceptible reason. I'm glad I can still laugh about it (most of the time).

I have only slight hearing loss in one ear but still find television programs hard to understand (especially British accents, even though my dad had one). My husband and I both use closed captioning and it really helps.

How I love Crabby Old Lady!

Crabby, live forever!

As each part of this old body stops working I rely more and more on all of the aids available to me. First was a Cochlear Ear Implant (I still rely on CC) and it was paid for by my insurance, but the maintenance and worn out parts are not. With help from my doctor I was able to convince the insurance company that the implant is no good without a processor, head piece and power cells so they reluctantly paid 80%.

My vision is fading and I have to pay for exams and glasses. I had to have my first bridge on 4 upper teeth. With private insurance it still cost me several thousand dollars.

And so it goes as each part ceases to work right. Some things just can't be fixed. As a neighbor said, there is no cure for old age. But it would sure be easier if we didn't have to worry about how to pay for all the things that should logically be covered by medicare.

My very small pet peeve is facial hair that pops out on the neck and chin. I use to pluck with them with a tweezer but I found a neat device that is a battery operated razor. A few strokes and gone for awhile. No more misses using the tweezer.
I worked for an audiologist whose patients were over 65 and I learned a lot about the importance of protecting our hearing.

So true but you left out molds. Or am I the only one who seems to grow them on my face?

Bah, humbug, to it all. It is what it is. . .but nobody says we have to like it.

Haha! So much truth here, not sure I can take it!

I did find out something recently that might help someone else: in pursuit of something else, I looked up 'ptosis' (TOH-sis) and realized that -- in my case -- the double vision that's been driving me nuts ever since my cataract surgery is (mostly, at least) caused by my left eyelid drooping just enough to interfere with vision, and maybe even push that eye just enough out of alignment, that my vision can't fuse into a three-dimensional image. I know this is true because if I consciously tell that eyelid to lift, then magically... I have 3D vision again!

The main cause of ptosis is, apparently, old age. I did have occasional fatigue-related episodes before the cataract surgery, but afterwards, the problem just moved in and wouldn't go away. I'd been trying to fix it by exercising the inside muscles that move the eyeballs. Now that I know which muscle is weak, there's something I can do, and it doesn't even need gadgets, pills, or eyedrops.

I am 65, and in the last few years, I have developed problems with FOOD lodging between my teeth! I have been told that as you get older, the spaces between your teeth become greater, due to gum deterioration and teeth shifting. It is maddening, to say the least. If I'm dining with friends in a restaurant, after I finish my meal, I must excuse myself and go to the bathroom and remove the bread, etc, that has packed in between my teeth! Gross! I always hated to see old people pop a toothpick in their mouth in public, but now I understand. (But, I'm not going to ever do that)

I liked your signature hats! When I was bald from chemo years ago, I wore colorful cotton bandannas like a do-rag. I puffed it up a little to add height, and then tied it slightly high on the back of the head. You could see I was bald, and I liked that, yet I liked the cover in the front. I'll bet you would look really cute in that style. I would go back to that if I run into hair issues again.

I had burning mouth syndrome 4 years ago. It was due to a B12 and magnesium deficiency. It returned but this time was due to a different cause, silent GERD. So, I am on a GERD food plan.

I am concerned about my hearing. I have noticed a change in my right ear. I got a free hearing checkup last summer which found no hearing loss but there was a difference between the right and left. I use TV headphones and a computer headphone but this is so I don't bother the neighbors. I live in a condo with cardboard walls and ceilings. : (

I think I spend more time on my hair than I did when I was younger. I lose enough hair to knit a sweater with. I call the bathroom tile floor my hair rug. Just a joke to myself.

My vision has stayed pretty much the same? I use to wear contacts when I worked but not as much anymore since I retired. I make a lot of mistakes because of my nearsightedness and astigmatism. My vision is better when I wear contacts but then I must use reading glasses.

I could talk about my hands and feet but I'm staying on topic!