ELDER MUSIC: Classical - Various 6
A TGB READER STORY: Medical – In the Beginning and Near the End

The Great Time Goes By Hook Up

Depending on your age these days, “hook up” can be a loaded term. Here is how the Urban Dictionary defines it:

”To have any form of intamicy with a member of the prefered sex that you don't consider a significant other. Usually, when said by modern youth it means to make out, and when said by people between the ages of 20 and 35 it generally means to have sex, and if a very old person says it, it probbably means to simply spend time with somebody.”

(Yes, those three mis-spellings are as they appear on the Urban Dictionary hook up page.)

But you can't argue with the definitions themselves. They are accurate. Undoubtedly, you have discerned that today I am referring to the “very old person” usage (although what you do in your spare time is up to you).

On Friday, long-time TGB reader, Jean Gogolin, left this comment:

”I can only say I wish I knew everyone in this community of yours personally, Ronni. I wish we could all get together, perhaps a few at a time, and talk and talk, and talk, and then hug. We're doing the next best thing at a distance.”

This isn't the first time a reader has asked about contacting another reader. Not too long ago, Diane emailed to ask about contacting other readers:

”Just wondering if there is any way to get in touch with some of your bloggers,” she wrote. “I contribute occasionally and feel connected to this group. When I read someone is from Austin, Tx, or somewhere in Texas, I have an urge to email them to see if they want to meet for coffee. Is there a way to do that?”

There must have been something in the air because within a couple of days, several other people had made similar requests via email and in the comments.

These folks are on to something. What makes this blog as special and vibrant as it is, is the terrific group of readers – or, at least, those who comment – who carry on thoughtful, useful, informative and funny conversations below my scribblings and it makes sense to me that some would like to get to know one another.

So I have decided to do a one-time-only Great Time Goes By Hook Up. To preserve everyone's privacy, I cannot publish email addresses. In fact, I cannot even pass an email address on to another person without permission. So here is how it will go.

Track down the most recent use of the screen name of the commenter you would like to contact. (If that person's name is a link, meaning you can click on it, it usually opens that person's blog or webpage. You can then probably skip this Hook Up and contact him or her via that page. See Jean Gogolin's link above as an example.)

If it is not a link or there is no contact information on their page, copy the commenter's screen name exactly and also note the date of the blog post below which it appears.

Click on the “Contact” link at the top of any TGB page. An email form pre-addressed to me will open. Tell me the commenter's screen name, the date of the post on which you found it and state that you would like to contact that person.

I will then make contact and ask if he or she would allow me to pass on their email address to you.

[IMPORTANT NOTE: Understand that if you contact me for this purpose, you are giving me permission to send your screen name to the person you want to contact.]

I will then contact the person you wish to hook up with and if he or she agrees, I will send that person's email address to you.

Three other things:

  1. Be patient about a reply. I have no control over how long it takes a person to answer my email.

  2. Please, please, please contact me only via the “Contact” link at the top of TGB pages. This is a time consuming project for me and it will move easier and faster if the initial requests arrive color-coded in my inbox as they are set up to do via that Contact link.

  3. The window for my receiving your requests to contact a commenter is open until 12 midnight on 31 October 2018, Halloween night. And no, this is not a trick, it's a treat.

That mostly covers it except for this: Thousands of people read this blog and it is remarkable that there are next to no trolls so it is unlikely there will be a problem. But if someone you have connected with through TGB becomes abusive or suspicious in any way, cut off communication immediately.

In fact, you might want to use a disposable email address to begin with.

As with anyone you meet online, if the friendship moves from email and/or phone to in-person, be careful before you meet, choose a public place and do not share personal information such as birthday, home address, etc. until you feel secure.

The Great Time Goes By Hook Up has been floating around in the background for a long time, maybe years. I'm happy to finally be doing it.


Wow, this is an incredibly generous use of your time. Thank you for the offer of connection for your readers

Yet another beautiful gift you are giving us Ronni ❤️ The most precious gift of all ... your time to make this possible.

This morning I read a quote by Rumi.
“Love is the bridge between you and everything”

That’s you Ronni. You are love in action.


I don't know of anyone nearby, but if anyone asks for my info, you have my permission to give it to them. Thanks, Ronni!

I have met, in person, many of my online connections, and except for one, it has been a lovely experience. I'm hoping more of your readers are able to connect in person.

I'm in the middle of California, and my posts always have my blog connection so if anyone is nearby, feel free to let me know in the comments on my blog.

Wait! We're not all just coming up to your place?!
This is very generous of you. It's not uncommon at all in nature when a social group feels challenged that members will want to check their ties within the group; and you, our linchpin, are looking at a pretty substantial challenge. I believe you're the only person here with whom I've actually spoken.

This is wonderful of you, Ronni. I'm in northern New Jersey, and you have my permission to share my email with anyone from this area. In fact, my website includes a photo of me, so anybody wanting to get together can even see what I look like beforehand. ;-)

A super idea. But I'd rather sit down with you and a cuppa (tea) or, a glass of wine or, a beer. Otherwise, keep blogging.

I live in Seattle and would love to meet anyone in this area. Clicking on my name gets you to my website, from which you can contact me easily.

Ronni: Have you considered a face-to-face meet-up at some public space in Portland? We could all chip in to cover the rent.

Readers of this blog, as evidenced by the thoughtful posts, seem like wonderful people. Seem like; No! They are. I'll continue my anonymous approach, but I doubt my off-beat posts would spark any interest anyway. Back when I was single and continuing well into my sales and marketing career, I would win and influence people like crazy--many people sought me out. Nowadays, as I age, very few new friends are made and most of the old friends have drifted away. Interestingly, however, since moving to Florida, during my first several weeks here, lots of people, strangers, wanted to talk to me, approaching me enthusiastically, but this was because I was wide open to "feeling out" the community, taking it's measure and learning about the subculture--subconsciously I was transmitting that I was open to friendships, or at least social interaction. Then, realizing that I had enough, almost in a panic of sorts, I changed my attitude and stopped most of these interactions. Yes, I'm a poor candidate for correspondence and friendship, no doubt.

A suggestion . . . Ronni, you might create a list of your own of those who choose beforehand to either accept and/or reject any incoming. This would eliminate a lot of your time corresponding back and forth. Also, protecting sometimes angry folks that appreciate their own anonymity.

I had this site years ago that starting as you have suggested but soon ran into situations where folks would accept some - but wanted protection from certain others (girl and boyfriends, neighbors, etc.). I had to make a Tab Chart keeping track of those who wanted 'any', 'none', and 'not these'. It was monstrous, saved lots of time but became a real pain! Folks would go on about why they wanted to be 'blocked' (divorce, spouse reading email). I begain to feel like an Ann Landers clearinghouse!

It made easy to simply forward a memo without having to ask each individual each time. Things got odd when someone was rejected. Because of that I eventually dropped the site.

I will echo others - and say that I am happy to be contacted by any of the TGB crowd. I live in the Twin Cities in MN.. Just realized my email isn't listed, as you indeed initially said when I first subscribed. Don't have a blog. Don't do Facebook.. So just consider this a declaration of my willingness to partake in this expansion of the wonderful and amazing TGB..

thank you for doing this, Ronni, it is a lovely thing for you to do.


The one thing that you learn if you are a blogger is that your life becomes an open book. Most of us who blog crave the recognition from others that we indeed do exist, if only in cyberspace.
While I am not in the position to actually "hook-up" with others, my contact info is readily available by clicking on my name on this comment.

I’m willing as well and I’m in Florida. I enjoy this blog, Ronni, as I feel most, if not all, are like minded people and have similar experiences in life. I met a lady on line after both of our husbands had died and we are friends to this day. Mostly through email, but we have met up in person twice and it was very nice.

What a good idea - this has occured to me frequently as I have read the comments over the years.

While I, like Bruce, and not in the position to actually "hook-up" with others, I will definitely give my permission for you to share my contact info if it is requested.

I love Urban Dictionary. The entries are written by the people (kids?) who use those terms and know the current usage. It's a valuable resource, especially if you are trying to understand the younger generation.

Thank you, Ronni, for your very generous offer. I hope you haven't undertaken too much.

This is a wonderful idea. Looking back over the years reading TGB there have been times I would have loved to meet up or at least correspond with someone that has written a comment that really spoke to me. I doubt anybody lives close to me in this small town in NC, so will keep on just being a regular reader. Thank you for all you do, Ronni.

You are the soul of generosity, Ronni. Wouldn't it be so fine if we could all commune for a day..........what fun, what food for the soul that would be! I so often see something written by a sister or fellow follower that lights up my day.

Years ago, after my mother-in-law passed away, I noticed that her offspring, who all get along, don't get together anymore. They don't make the trip. "Mom" was the glue, as are you.

You seem to know that we are out here...all in our own linoleum tubes (meaning we really don't see one another even thought we read the same blog regularly).

Blessings, and thanks for your generosity.

Inability to share thoughts,comments and philosophical concepts is a real problem for many elder-orphans,and the gift of your hook-up service is very welcome.
thank you.Ronni

A lovely idea. Melbourne, Australia may be a little to far for an elderly hook up!

I continue to be awed by you, Ronni. As Perspective noted above, you are the glue holding this community together. I suspect that the “something in the air” is the sense of anticipatory loss all the crew are feeling as we journey along on This End Up, knowing the voyage isn't never-ending. Jeepers, but what a wonderful legacy if even one real long-term friendship develops from The Great Time Goes By Hook Up.

You have my permission to give my e-mail address to anyone who writes here. I will not be able to hook up with them as I am increasingly housebound, but welcome the interaction of e-mail where we really get to know each other and can share ideas or other needs.

I have already met five of your lovely readers in person and write peiodically to 4 others. So far all have been wonderful experiences and they have enriched my life.

Thank you Ronni as this is very generous. Community is important and this blog has created this over the years.

In this sad old alienated world, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all meet up for a big Ronni-style get-together? You name the date...I'll bring hot-dish.

First, whatever happened to Cowtown Pattie? I met her years ago at an AARP thing that you hooked me up with. Anyway, that's kind of tongue in cheek. I imagine my path will cross again with Pattie's on the internet some day, some way.

You have my permission to share my email with anyone who asks. I'll pop that into a message via the contacts link above. I doubt you'll get (m)any takers for that address because my commenting has been pretty thin on the ground here for the last eight or ten years.

This isn't anything like tinder is it? (As if I had more than a faint clue what tinder is about).

I like Charlotte's idea. There must be a Senior Center in your neck of the woods where we could all show up with a "dish to pass." (I'm thinking tuna noodle casserole here).

Thank you, Ronni, for this kind offer of connection for your readers. To a cyber-weenie like myself it seems like a lot of work for you. It will be interesting for certain.

I can truly identify with Ruth-Ellen's comments, as I don't do FaceBook, have a blog, or even "Tweet". Looks like I am a borderline Ludite of sorts here in Portland, Oregon.

Living alone, I feel quite dependent on my email for contact with the rest of the world as winter driving comes to us, and would be fine with a contact from any of your great TGB fans. Thank you.

Thank you, Ronni, for this gift. The comments on any of your posts reveal many talented writers. I struggle to write everything from a casual email to a proposal for a project. You make it seem so easy. Keeping a blog current is a challenge you have achieved brilliantly.

I have created an in-person group based on the success of the Facebook group I started:
"Portland Oregon Elder Orphans"
We’ve been meeting for lunch or happy hour since May and I’m happy to report I have several new friendships as a result.

On November 6 I will be facilitating the first of a weekly support group for Elder Orphans (EO’s) at the West Linn Adult Community Center. (About 10 miles south of Portland)
The response has been wonderful.

Any EO’s in the area are invited. Call the West Linn Adult Community Center if you’re interested. Meets weekly on Tuesdays at 1:00 pm. No charge. 503-557-4704

Didn’t mean to toot my own horn, but I’m good at organizing, planning, etc. and would be happy to help with your 'hookup' project, if you get overwhelmed.

Love the hookup idea. I’m in! I would like to meet folks from the Portland area with interests in visiting the Japanese garden, and other gardens. We have an amazing clematis garden in Lake Oswego where I often walk. Other interests include birdwatching, wine tasting, intentional community, forest bathing, Qigong, meditation, reading (retired librarian). Joined the Portland Raging Grannies, although I’m not a granny. We sang at City Hall to protest the city’s investments that are harmful to the environment.

Happy to connect with Portland peeps and other EO’s.

Dear Ronni,
The philanthropist Alice Tully (for whom a concert hall in New York is named) supposedly said "you are who you attract." Whether or not, the words came from her, they have always struck me as profound -- as exemplified by your readers,
Their entries reflect your values, your good sense, your grace. Surely you know that a desire to connect with each other now is related to our anticipation of the day when we will no longer be able to connect with you.
And like the loving mother who encourages her kids to keep their bonds alive when she is gone, so you - with your usual foresight - are passing the charge to us.
Sad and hopeful at once. Thank you.
I'd be happy to connect with other New York City dwellers or anyone else who would like to connect with me. Ann Burack-Weiss

I am happy to connect with other New Englanders. I am not on Facebook, but yoru readers are a wonderful select group.

San Francisco/NoCal area. For myself, it's a privilege to be acquainted online with the people you've brought together, Ronni.

I think I've laughed, cried, raged, felt free to share, and challenged to think outside my own box, while also being thankful and delighted by everyone whom I consider good online friends - more than I imagined when joining years ago.

For any reason, I'm also happy to connect with others, and have no Facebook account.

Hi Ronni,
I found one person who would like to be contacted who’s in the Portland area ...Charlene Drewry.
Please give her my email so I can tell her about my new group.

Thanks so much Ronnie .

I rarely comment even though I’ve been a daily reader at Time Goes By for years. I would love to connect with any TGB readers. I live in northern Ohio. I will add my email address in the contact link.
Thank you for all you do Capitan Ronni.

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