My Son, My Family
Monday, 10 December 2018
Take a look at this photograph – shot at my home on Saturday evening:
Nearly 56 years ago when I was 21 years old, I gave birth to a boy whom I arranged to have adopted. On Saturday, I met Tom, his wife Kathy and their four-year-old son, Henry, in person for the first time.
[For readers just now catching up with this story, the background is here.]
They arrived at noon bearing food and gifts and we spent the next seven hours eating, drinking good wine (well, not Henry) and talking. Talking and talking and talking.
We told stories about ourselves and our families, we hugged a lot, we laughed, we grinned ourselves silly, with Henry's little boy voice tinkling in the background (he's a very well-behaved kid).
Henry brought me a gift he had made himself – this beautiful cup I'm using now for coffee as I write this post on Sunday morning, and will use every morning from now on as I answer email and read the news. Here it is among some of the detritus on my desk:
In ways I cannot explain, I feel like I have always known these people, that they have always been a part of my life. We settled right in as soon as they arrived. Of course, there are thousands of details about their lives I don't know, but I know the essence of their being.
By the end of our day, they had made me feel part of their family and I hope they felt the same in return. But none of these words come anywhere close to the love I feel with them. And comfort with them.
When they left in the evening, I was happy and sad, too, sad that they don't live down the street or across the road from me. But they will be back. We made plans for that.
I have been teary in the best possible way since Saturday evening. How did I get so lucky that this happened. Just in time.
Look at these wonderful people, my son and my daughter-in-law.
Ahhhh, Ronni, this is wonderful! I think your grandson looks like you and has quite an artistic touch with coffee cups.
Thrilled for you and the rest of your family who found magic on Saturday.
Posted by: Simone | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 05:50 AM
How wonderful! So happy for you! Thank you for sharing so much of your life...so many peaks and valleys. This one is the best!
Posted by: Ruth Marchese | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 06:13 AM
I can only imagine how full your heart must be right now! This is wonderful, and the timing does seem something of a miracle.
Henry has your eyes. No doubt about it. So happy for all of you !
Posted by: Cathy J. | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 06:21 AM
"Just in time."
How wonderful for you all ... and for us through your sharing.
Thank you.
Posted by: Antonia Albany | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 06:36 AM
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I’m just so happy for your sake.
Posted by: Claude | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 06:57 AM
My father’s first wife took off with his toddler daughter and disappeared before he eventually met and married my mom, who had 3 boys, 9,11 and 13 and an ex-husband with dementia in a mental hospital. I grew up assuming that my 3 older brothers were my dad’s biological sons, although in truth they looked nothing like him!
I found out about their previous marriages when I was a young teenager, and the news shook my view of our family but never lessened my love for my big brothers and parents. By this time I had two younger brothers, also. No sisters.
When I later was newly-married after leaving the convent in my mid-thirties, (I found me some “sisters!), my dad got a call from a young woman who said she “thought he was her grandfather!” And he was! My older sister lived in Alaska and had a husband and 3 kids, a girl and two boys, all now young adults! (His ex-wife was deceased.) My family met the Alaska branch of our family and travelled back and forth several times before his daughter died too young a number of years later.
One of my big Alaska nephews played in the NFL then retired and married a daughter of a famous Alaska politician. My nephew had serious mental problems, probably due to his career as a tackle for Green Bay, and was arrested, escaped and shot and killed by police years later. He was a gentle guy and due to be a father when he was killed. His son looks just like him!
I volunteer as a state lead for a gun violence prevention program here in Arizona now.
Posted by: Kathleen Noble | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:04 AM
Thanks again for sharing your life with us! This is just the most touching story ever. You are all blessed to have found each other at this perfect time! We are all in tears of happiness.
Carol
Posted by: Carol | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:05 AM
Ronni, your lived story continues to be a reminder that some people experience blessings. I'm not going to give you a bunch of guff claiming I know what that means. But I am simply made glad that you continue to include us in your journey.
What a wonderful appearing clan has turned up for you!
Posted by: janinsanfran | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:11 AM
Such a sweet and wonderful day usually only read about in fiction books.
Posted by: Mary | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:15 AM
Blessings Be! For you having a magical day and for sharing it with us.
Posted by: Daria | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:22 AM
Absolutely wonderful. Henry does look like you and he seems to be quite the artisan, bringing the cup he made to you. Yes, you will use it every day. Grandchildren are the best gift.
Posted by: dkzody | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:23 AM
Oh, what a wonderful gift you have been given, Ronni.
Three new people in your life, people who are part of you, who will stay close and what stories you will share as you catch up.
Life can throw us curve balls when we least expect it. Some may hurt, but this one is like a jet stream of love when you most need it.
Wow, I am bawling like a baby just writing this.
Big teary hugs coming directly from Montreal.
Posted by: doctafill | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:23 AM
Thank you for sharing your lovely story, Ronni. Tears flowed as if they had come to visit me. Joy shared always spreads out like the ripples in a pond when a gift such as this is tossed out to the world. It changes everything for the better, is my belief.
Re:''I feel like I have always known these people,''
One of the most endearing songs in Jim Henson's "The Muppet Movie" is Gonzo's (the turkey,BTW) melancholy piece. "I'm Going To Go Back There Someday"
One line has stayed with me all these years and seems so apropos now. ''We don't have a word yet for old friends we've just met."
For you, and now your readers it, looks like the words are 'dear family'.
Thank you so much for sharing them with us.
Charlene.
Posted by: Charlene | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:28 AM
Ronni! I was thinking of you all weekend. This update brought tears to my eyes. Love, K
Posted by: Kirsten Jacobs | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:33 AM
Beautiful uplifting story - thank you for sharing :)
Posted by: Heather | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:36 AM
So wonderful and happiness so deserved, Ronni.
Posted by: Norma | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:39 AM
That was pretty amazing. Quite the story. Brings tears to my eyes.
Thanks for letting us have glimpse into your life/lives.
Posted by: local Joe | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:42 AM
Wow, just Wow, and what a nice thing to share this Monday morning, have a good week, m
Posted by: Martha Backer | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:44 AM
So very happy for you all that you have connected - and actually enjoyed one another’s company!
Posted by: Lynn Reynolds | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:45 AM
Such a beautiful story and reunion. I am so happy for you. My darling friend Donna, who died, did not have this blessing as her daughter refused to meet her even knowing she was dying.
So your story gave me happy tears.
XO
WWW
Posted by: Wisewebwoman | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:50 AM
Ah, I had been anxious to hear your report! Tears of happiness here, too! I am truly delighted for all of you! Ali
Posted by: Ali | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:54 AM
What a wonderful experience for you and your son. To have that kind of closure for you knowing how he turned out and for him knowing the reasons why he was up for adoption is a gift that turned out to be a real treasure in your cases. I'm happy for you both.
Posted by: JeanR | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:56 AM
Thank you so much for sharing your joy with us. I love that little Henry made a cup for you--and I love what it says about Tom and Kate that Henry made a cup for you. I'm really moved by Tom's reaching out to you again. That's a generous spirit.
Posted by: Mary Jamison | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:58 AM
The intellectual turns into a proud mother. The sceptic witnesses a miracle. Wonderfull!
Posted by: Hanspeter Spörri | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:59 AM
Lovely, lovely. Now I'm teary. So happy for you.
Posted by: annie | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:00 AM
Truth is indeed stranger than fiction. This is a beautiful love story of a reunited family that is worthy of the best novel ever written.
I don't believe in fate, but this does seem to be destined to happen at the eleventh hour in your life. I can't begin to express how very happy I am for all of you.
A very handsome family you have and they all seem to be as loving as their new Mom and Grandma.
Your sharing of your incredible story has brought happiness to all of we who are in the boat with you. "Ripples in the pond" is apt.
Posted by: Darlene Costner | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:01 AM
How wonderful for you, but especially for your son and grandson! As an adopted kid who met her birth mom when I was 57 - I know the myriad of feelings it engenders! I hope you will get to know them better over the next few months. It’s a miracle!!
Posted by: Kenju | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:10 AM
A true love story. Thank you.
Posted by: Barbara | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:16 AM
I'm joining the other weepers. What a wonderful joyful time for you. Thank you for all your sharing.
Posted by: Estelle D | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:29 AM
What a wonderful gift you have received. I know you treasure meeting your wonderful son and his family.
Posted by: Sulibran | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:30 AM
I'm so happy for you. I really see the resemblance between you and Henry. Congratulations on your new found family!
Posted by: Frank | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:30 AM
So very thrilled for you that all went well Saturday! Was thinking ofyou all day. Have happy tears for you now. Ancestry and a maternal cousin reunited my husband with a huge number of family members (cousins) etc two years ago who had been disconnected from him for almost 70 years. We have had 2 fantastic reunions since then. DNA does run deep
Posted by: Francine | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:46 AM
Brought tears of happiness to my eyes that these people should enter your life just when you needed them most!! Blessings on all of you. Especially you, Ronni as you embark on this journey where I will probably follow you in the near future. Blessings on all!!!
Posted by: Jean Shriver | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:52 AM
Such a wonderful story. Thank you.
Posted by: Rosemary Woodel | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 09:22 AM
I’m moved by the magic of this story. Best timing, obviously best folks—you included—and no doubt the very best way to hold this family in your heart during the holidays. All of them.
Posted by: Mary McCarthy | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 09:23 AM
Magical - fantastical - super and Brilliant.
o/
Posted by: Odette | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 09:24 AM
I come bearing tissues for everyone, including myself. So happy for you and your family, Ronni. It's a holiday gift for all of us.
Posted by: Susan R (Pied Type) | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 09:35 AM
It's wonderful that you should have all this unexpected love as your life winds down. I am just thrilled that you and your son's family have such a strong connection and that you have gotten such a boost from seeing them. Richly deserved, too!
Posted by: Mary | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 09:43 AM
So happy for you and them! I see a lot of resemblance in your son and your grandson to you. Isn't it odd how sometimes a grandchild will resemble the maternal/paternal grandparent? I was always said to be the spitting image of my paternal grandmother, and we did bear a remarkable physical resemblance. DNA never fails to amaze! ((((HUGS))))
Posted by: Cara | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 09:49 AM
What a coincidental happening! Especially now . . . . All of the experiences in life seem at the time to come full circle. Now this "there is one more child to carry on . . . "
Isn't life really so cool?
Posted by: yellowstone | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:01 AM
Lovely--just lovely!
Posted by: Elizabeth Rogers | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:03 AM
What an incredible blessing!
Posted by: Patricia Stegall | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:09 AM
I am so happy for you, Ronni! And for your son and family too. Wow! I'm getting all teary, in a good way. So very happy for you.
Posted by: Salinda Dahl | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:17 AM
Just want to echo other comments. Such a wonderful story and so appreciate your sharing it with all of us.
And the cup is awesome!
Posted by: Maureen Adams | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:20 AM
Thanks to Pied Type for bringing tissues, because I'm crying, too. Wow, just wow. Sometimes the universe delivers! What unexpected joy. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Posted by: Patty-in-New-York | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:26 AM
Ronnie: So timely, so beautiful,sacred and joyous. I am so happy for you!
Posted by: Diane | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:31 AM
Love's impact, like humor, depends on timing. Pass the Kleenex, Susan!
Posted by: Wendl | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:37 AM
Oh my, I am tearing up as I am reading this. What a beautiful reunion and gift for everyone. I'm just so happy for you and for this happening in your life.
Posted by: Susan | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:38 AM
Good things happen to good people! Your new family is now known and loved almost as much as you are in some far-flung parts of the world.
Thanks for keeping us posted. I am but one of the many out here wishing you the very best of everything during the upcoming mid-winter festivals of light. Yours should be extra sweet and special this year.
Posted by: Miki Davis | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:51 AM
A truly remarkable story so happy for you Ronni!
Emily
Posted by: Emily | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 11:00 AM
So lovely! What a wonderful family you have. Tears of joy, just for you and yours. 💕
Posted by: Janet | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 11:14 AM
Such goodness. I am very glad for you.
Posted by: paula | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 11:14 AM
I'm brought to tears. It seems you have known each other in ways not clear until now. Enjoy the glow. So glad plans have already been made for a return visit. Pleased for you and your son.
Posted by: Carol | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 11:27 AM
I am weeping like every else. A happy, beautiful gift arrived just in time. They are beautiful and that little Henry is an artist! Blessing to you all!
Posted by: Marie Breault | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 11:31 AM
Wonderful. Heartwarming. Touching. Such a beautiful experience for each of you. I am smiling (with a few tears) for you.
Posted by: Robin Winters | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 11:38 AM
I'm so glad all this worked out at just the right time for all of you.
Posted by: Cindy | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 11:40 AM
Ronnie, what a wonderful day for you and your family. Everyone has already said what I felt about this magic day, so I'll just say thank you for sharing your journey with us. We also are blessed.
Posted by: Nan Bailey | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 11:59 AM
So happy for you. Wonderful story for the holidays.
Posted by: Charlotte Dahl | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 12:01 PM
Mind blowing! Thank you!
Posted by: Lori | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 01:06 PM
My mom was adopted before she was one by her maternal aunt as her mother had died when she was born. She had some contact with her brothers and sister - they lived in another city. When she and I did meet her birth father - we were really glad that she had been adopted! Her stepparents were so much more loving and giving that I think she got the better childhood.
Now my son has a beautiful adopted son and I wonder if he will ever want to meet his birth mother who willing gave up each of her five children at an early age. Frankly, I hope not as it doesn't feel as though it would go well mostly due to the mother's use of meth.
So I can honestly say that you have had an exceptional experience and I am thrilled for you and want you to know how pleased I am for you and your family.
Grandchildren are the best!
Posted by: Sidney Thompson | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 01:19 PM
So very very happy for you Ronni! Life is so wonderful and still full of happy surprises! Wow, just Wow!
Posted by: Mary | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 01:22 PM
Wonderful.
Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt experience.
Posted by: Clairejean | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 01:34 PM
Wonderful!
So happy for you!
Posted by: Annie | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 01:38 PM
Incredibly beautiful love story!
Posted by: Joared | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 01:51 PM
Unfriggingbelieveable!!! What are the odds your DNA kit, which was on sale to boot....would lead you and your son to each other? Especially at this time in your life! It is just amazing. I am happy for you and for him. Take advantage of this time together.... and a grandson too! How cool is that? I went through cancer last year and my kids and my grandkids especially with their positive enthusiasm helped get me through treatment. Ronni I was just telling an ex-sister in law (of whom we remain close) that life is so random, unpredictable and comes without instructions or a manual. The amount of mistakes, missteps and mess-ups I have made along the way are probably things our kids talk about when they are together. My husband and I were 19 when we married, unprepared and SO immature. Thank God for my mother who helped me through sleepless nights, postpartum depression and helping raise them while I worked for 40 years. Just this week I have really wanted to beat up on myself (and my husband) for so many things we didn't do. It is when I sit and realize- all I have is today. I can't do a damn thing about the past but leave it where it belongs. Today and hopefully a few more tomorrows is what we have to do better or at least different...lol I am happy for you and your newly found son and family. Be a blessing to each other.
Posted by: Lin Gar | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 01:58 PM
Henry looks a great deal like you in your childhood picture at the top of your blog !! Stand you two up next to each other and I bet it's even more apparent! What fun!!
Posted by: Miki Davis | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 02:02 PM
What a wonderful gift! For all of you!!! Thanks for sharing with us Ronni... 🎄
Posted by: SusanL | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 02:34 PM
What struck me hard when my daughter and son-in-law had my grandchildren was how momentous an occasion it was in connecting us all, going forward, through the ages. You have discovered that connectedness too and for that I am greatful.
Posted by: Gail | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 02:51 PM
Just a precious post...in a time when we need this kind of grace and happiness. So happy for you!
Posted by: Terry | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 03:39 PM
I am so happy for you! There is nothing like the love of family. You are blessed!
Posted by: Debbie | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 04:06 PM
Perfect! So happy for all of you!
Posted by: Redstone | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 04:42 PM
love, the best of all things
Posted by: Marcia Hill | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 05:12 PM
Wow. What a lucky lady you are.
Happy Holidays to you, Tom, Kathy and Henry!
Posted by: Sandpile51 | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 06:24 PM
What a miraculous story. You have told it beautifully and honestly, and you have given all who read it a great gift. I am an adopted person (now age 73) myself. I was fortunate enough to be adopted by very loving parents. But as dearly as I loved my parents-by-adoption, there is another connection; they always acknowledged this, even though I never met either of my birth parents. I would have loved to do that. I am profoundly happy for you, and for your son, daughter-in-law, and grandson, that you have found each other.
Posted by: Georgia | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 06:25 PM
So much happiness and love and you are good enough to share with us.
Wonderful post today!
Posted by: Phyllis Schmitz | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 06:28 PM
I remember meeting you soon after you had him. It seemed like unfinished business in your life and while we seldom talked about it I knew it was. Isn't it wonderful that at this time in your life it should resolve itself. As you may remember I have a son somewhere so when I read this tears came to my eyes. You are very lucky and I am so happy for you.
Posted by: ALEX BENNETT | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:05 PM
Og, wonderful. How marvelous that this could happen.
Posted by: Mage Bailey | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:14 PM
So happy for you.....and for your son and his family!
Posted by: Rebecca | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 07:22 PM
What a wonderful thing to happen. I see Henry's baby face and your little girl photo and the resemblence is amazing. I am so happy for you.
Posted by: Celia Andrews | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 08:25 PM
There is nothing I can say that hasn’t been said already. I’m just glad that you found this old/new relationship just in time. It’s perhaps even more important for Tom than it is for you. It must have been great for him to find you after he had lost the parents who had adopted him. And it’s wonderful that you could like and respect each other.
Posted by: Emma Jay | Monday, 10 December 2018 at 10:20 PM
Instant family: 55 years in the making. For one who has spent so much time as lone survivor in her family, it must be immensely gratifying. Well done! My wishes join the others in wishing you love and happiness with your son, your daughter-in-law, and your grandchild.
Posted by: Cop Car | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 04:02 AM
I stared with amazement at the top photo until my eyes landed on the tiny red dreidel Henry is holding with his beautiful little hands. Maybe it was your seasonal gift to him ... not imagining that those same little hands had crafted the magnificent mug he made for you. Ronni, I see all four of you in that photo because you are the red dreidel. I cry each time I see the photos and reread your post and the comments. I keep returning to feel the pure love pouring in from everywhere. XO
Posted by: Tamar | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 05:06 AM
Ronni: so happy to hear of your reunion. Sounds beyond happiness. All the best, Marjorie
Posted by: Marjorie | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 07:17 AM
So happy for you all. This is joyous news and the proper season for it! Blessings on you all.
Posted by: Pilgrim | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 08:40 AM
Wonderful, wonderful! :~)
Posted by: Heidi | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 09:58 AM
Thank you. What a great story.
Posted by: Nan | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 10:06 AM
Ronni,
Heartfelt thanks for the generosity of spirit which led you to share this lovely story. i join all the previous readers in saying this story made me shed tears of joy. That little Henry? He is Mr. Adorable! It is a true miracle that you have found each other.
I'm wearing the smile your post gave me.
Posted by: Fritzy Dean | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 10:29 AM
Well, Ronni, it's Tuesday, 12/11, and I saved your post because I hoped it would be about a happy time. But, it exceeded my hope! It was the sweetest "Christmas Carol" I've ever read!
Even Alex commented.
I think you may have had your heart blown wide open, and most of all, want to thank you for sharing this deeply personal joy.
Blessings to you.
Posted by: TheaT | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 11:02 AM
Who could read this post and Not tear up ? A day later and it lingers about the edges of my mind. Among other things, a testament that "life isn't over until it's over." Just keeps rolling along in mysterious, horrible, and sometimes wonderful ways. And will continue to roll on with little Henry. So good to be along for this part of the ride with you, dear Ronni.
Posted by: Ann Burack-Weiss | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 11:56 AM
Like everyone else, I am so moved by this turn in your life. That your son and his family have the legacy of all your TGB blogs is such a gift to them. Makes me believe in karma.
Posted by: mia mccabe | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 12:58 PM
This gives me even more faith in the universe ;)
Posted by: Kavan | Tuesday, 11 December 2018 at 05:23 PM
So very, very wonderful.
Posted by: Lisa | Wednesday, 12 December 2018 at 05:11 PM
Thank you , I join all the comments...I Iam proud of you and your wonderful family . a piece of joy and happiness while in France we are now having hard times....
Posted by: chantal | Thursday, 13 December 2018 at 01:25 AM
So wonderful. And so happy for you. I have tears as I read this as I am an adoptive mother who had the love of a child and the joy of her presence in my life thanks to a birth mother like you.
Posted by: Cynthia | Thursday, 13 December 2018 at 12:41 PM
Just amazing, Ronni. A miracle. You have a family!
Posted by: Annie Gottlieb | Tuesday, 18 December 2018 at 09:27 PM